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Getting ready to quit

Little background info, 20 years old, chewing since i was 15. College student wanting to quit the habit. Never really tried before, slowed down before but i haven't gone a day with out chew since i started. Planning on stopping this weekend, got a crap load of exams and am already stressed out as it is. Planning on blogging once a day when i quit.

gtrain

gtrain

 

day 2

...better today. Cravings weren;t as intense or the muddled brain so well muddled. It was interesting seeing my brain go through its' addiction dance today. Reaching for the tin when it wasn;t there. Off work and automatically thinking of the corner store to get my can of dip for the night. The whole routine of the addiction. I didn;t realize how hard it was ingrained in me. Well I probably just forgot from then last time I tried quit. I'm doing things a bit different this time around. I'm here and elsewhere on-line. And I'm telling people I'm done. Even my corner store people who sold me my dope. No fault to them, its legal, they're making a living. I've told everyone who's had a chance to listen. Even all of my my kids. Different than prior quits and I'm hoping it will make me stronger this time around.

jmswannabe

jmswannabe

 

day one

I quit again today. But I've quit before. I've sort of lost count since 2004 how many times when I first tried to stop my 40 year habit split equally between cigarettes and the last 20 years with Skoal. I think this is shot number 6? They say it takes an average of 7 times to come clean so maybe this is my time? Pick your cancer I used to laughingly say to smokers' who would chastise me! Lung or Lip?. The lesser of two evils! Smart guy I am I switched to the much "safer" chew about 20 years ago. And In all honestly my real motivation beginning with my first quit was the money my drug addiction was costing me, not really the reality of possibly ending up one day with the big "C". In the "Great White North that can that costs you 5 bucks a day costs me 20 here. And I've been a can a day man for along time. Thats a lot of money. A lot of motivation to quit. Never Really thought too much about the big "C" really, it lurked there, I knew it was possible but it probably wouldn;t happen to me.That is till this morning. I woke up with a small red sore inside my limp. It's probably nothing. Any of you that have dipped know all about sores in your mouth. They always seems to go away, don;t they? Goes with the territory after all. But they've always made me nervous you know. And today as I looked at this one in the mirror, I thought to myself? Maybe this is the one that doesn;t go away?   So even though I've quit before and failed. I quit again today.

jmswannabe

jmswannabe

 

Day 3 and living the "Big Suck"

So day 3 and I'm still in a fog, can't focus, bored and overall miserable. Just about what I recalled from the last time I quit. The fog has lifted enough for me to do some back checking of my previous quit. As I stated before, I started when I was 18 in college and had that sense of invincibility. I was pretty much a full time Copenhagen addict. I went through the stages of hidding it from my family and I always slipped, they found out, we yelled, I promised to give it up but never did. In May of 2002 after 22 years of feeding my addiction I finally tried to quit for the first time. I found this site (which looked nothing like this at the time), hooked up with my start group and made it to the HOF. I even wrote a HOF speach.   It was 2007 and I had stayed "quit" for almost 5 years! Using rough math I figure I was 1,750 dats quit. I thought I was in the clear, but the Nic Bitch was always hanging in the shadows just waiting. I had a bad incident that got me stressed and angry and I let my defenses down for maybe an hour. In that hour, I wasn't looking forward to a 3 hour car ride home alone. As I was preparing for my ride I passed a gas station and what did I see? In my raged state I saw the Nic Bitch wearing a bikini standing on the curb holding a sign saying she wanted me back. Like a fool I stopped and put my money on the counter and escorted her into my car for the ride home. When I got home I left her in the car for the night and hoped she'd be gone by the time I went off to work the next day. But when I went back to my car that next morning she was still there looking hotter than ever and I caved again and then again and again... My affair with the Nic Bitch was soon discovered by my wife and family, we yelled, but as before she was eventually tolerated in the home. Why I decided to throw that Bitch out of my life again on 1/18/2012 is a story for another post.   I went back to my HOF speach to see what I said. Nothing special and like all the others. However, I said one thing in my HOF rambling which will be my beacon guiding me out of my addiction.   "I am a better father, husband, and friend since quitting. I no longer run off to be by myself to feed my addiction."

Headcase

Headcase

 

Day 1 and time to do it again

Typical story. Started at age 18 in college. Up to 1-2 tins of cope a day for 24 years. Got a scare in 2002 (need to check my facts) and found this site back then. Used the power of the community to kick the habit and was chew free for several years. Felt great and got my life back. Then wham, out of the blue had a bad incident that so pissed me off that I stopped and picked up a tin to calm me down. After that I was back on the dirt. Been chewing more than ever last couple years. When my mind clears I need to do all the math and figure out all the dates etc. Another scare, another anxiety attack and here I am (again). Back at day 1. Feel like an idiot for starting chewing again. SO need to do this (again)! I know there's probably still a lot of debate about nic patches/gum etc. Last time my attitude was I'm quitting chewing not quitting nic. It worked before, so the cupboards are stocked with seeds, gum, patches, stress ball etc and here I go. Oh this is gonna suck! BTW my daughter gave me a high five when I told her... made me feel good.

Headcase

Headcase

 

Day 10 - And all is well - except for the nagging.

After 10 days, I thought for sure that the nag of dip would be off of my mind, but it is not.   I guess a great deal of determination is required to quit a 30+ year habit.   I truly believe that there is a great deal more to this addiction then just nicotine. I am not sure what else is in Copenhagen, but this addiction can not be nicotine alone.   Just another reason to quit   >>>>>Sgt_Phil really wanting a dip, but not for the nicotine.

Sgt_Phil

Sgt_Phil

 

I am so weak

19 years on this wonderful stuff and I can't imagine life without it. Yes I did the New Years resolution, this time "Cold Turkey" no patches or medication. 1st day went to bed at 6:30 PM "miserable", 2nd day I was terrible to be around. Yelling at the wife and kids, no patience. Ended up going to the gas station at 7PM and life was back to normal.   It's funny, but when I look back at this relationship I have had with nicotine I don't remember being such a slave to it. It has been a gradual addiction and the most strongest now. I can remember running out of chew and not really freaking out. Now if I'm at a 1/4 tin left I'm at the store and can last throughout the day. How sad it is to realize that I cannot go through 1 day of life without a little ration of dirt in a can.   What the F*&$ is wrong with me? I can't freaking do it. I did quit 8 months in 2010-2011 but started up again in August of 2011 due to my excuse of "work stress". The way I quit was using lexapro 10 mg along with 1 or 2 21mg patches and then working down to 1 21mg patch. I hated the lexapro and tired of the patch. I felt like I was becoming addicted to the patch. So I quit the pill and patch and started back up slowly, but within 2 weeks back right where I was before I quit. I talk to people and they say "It's mind over matter", which is true, but at the same time bull s% to me right now.   I guess I'm reaching out on this website for some words of encouragement, which I doubt will even help, but I truly want this monkey off my back and I am tired of my dependancy on this powerful little drug.   Sorry for the negative vibe on this note, but I do look forward to any positive feedback.

JJohnson19

JJohnson19

 

Day 5 - One Bad Fragging DAY!

Today has been the first day that I have truly experienced the 'bad affects' of quitting Copenhagen.   Like a frakking insidious demon, my dip addiction was waiting for just the right day to kick me in the fakking nutz, and today was that day.   Strange, being new years eve, I am very busy with party preparations. Wifey Pooh and myself have been shopping and doing positive things to keep my mind off of dip.   But sure as hell, this damn dip has chosen to attack me on this afternoon while I am baking fresh breads and cakes for our party.   The nic-rage had gotten so bad that I was tapping an empty beer bottle on my head so hard and so often that I broke a beer bottle on my head.   Rage is all I feel!   HOWEVER, despite it all, I have refused to let it beat me this time.   As long as I keep myself intoxicated, I will never get behind that wheel to drive to the store to buy a can of snuff.   This addiction is nothing that can be kicked on it's own. I thank the founder of this website. I thank all of the contributors to this website. /salute   You have finally shown me that in all of my craziness that I am not alone. Quitting cocaine must be easier then quitting this crap.   I will succeed.   >>>>>Sgt_Phil going to tongue bunch some hotties before this night is thru!

Sgt_Phil

Sgt_Phil

 

The Fog of Quinine

Even though I am very early into this quit, I have the false sense that I am doing very well.   All of the symptoms of quitting have been very minor for me this go around. The worst side affect so far has been sore cheeks and gums from all of the Jolly Ranchers I have been consuming.   On day 2, the fog was kind of thick but almost non-existent on day 3. As I began my commute to work on day 4, the fog began to roll in on me again. I had to try extra hard to stay focused on my driving.   But thru it all, I had this wild thought that may result in my untimely death....   Like most of you have experienced, or are experiencing, our brain chemistry are going wild on us. Even if taking nic supplements, our brains are addicted to EVERYTHING they put in tobacco. I have tried to quit numerous times via cold turkey and with nic supplements, and I don't give a pooh what the experts say, the chemical addiction to Dip (Copenhagen) goes way beyond just nicotine. There is just more to it then the experts say there is to it. Which, preaching to the choir, is one of the many reasons that makes quitting this crap so complicated.   With the New Year just being a few days away, I have this wild thought ....   I'm not sure if many of you have ever had to take Quinine before. But one of the side affects of Quinine is that it can put you in a fog very similar to what I am experiencing when I am on the quit.   So this New Years Eve, I think it will be an awesome idea to find a way to actually ENJOY the quit experience. I am going to drink 2 liters of Tonic Water this New Years Eve party supplemented with just a few shots of my old friend Jack Daniels.   Now, we should all know the nutritional and health benefits of a good Jack and Tonic, so I am not worried about it causing me any harm. However, lets take a look at all of the other side affects of the quit:   (1) I will be more social because I will not be shying away because of brown teeth, bad breath or oozing spittal. (2) I'll be confident in my social interactions. I will laugh and smile more.   With these side affects, I am going to be damn sure to french kiss all of my wife's hot girl friends in celebration of the new year!   So if I do not make roll-call on Sunday, please lay a reef for me at Arlington or be sure to make a donation in my name to USO.org.   >>>>>>Sgt_Phil proud supporter of Battlestar Group 75

Sgt_Phil

Sgt_Phil

 

Why bother eating?

It's nice to have a place to rant and spew brain vomit over the topic of quitting the dip.   Just for perspective, I am 44 years old, and I have been dipping Copenhagen sense I was in 6th grade. How old would that have made me? 11? or 12?   I must have tried quitting Copenhagen a thousand times. Each time, I had devised a new strategy that would seem to work at first, but I always found myself back on the Cope.   I am day 3 into this new journey. On day 1 of my journey, I stumbled across this site. I hung around because all of the people here were telling all of the same stories that I have said over and over. The broken promises and failed goals of quitting. Passing up romance, just to sneak off to have another dip. Sleeping with dip in my mouth. I was beginning to believe I was the only freak on the planet that had this enslaving of a habit.   Today, I am in the fog, but a buddy at work offered to take me out to lunch. That's when it hit me, I haven't ate in I don't know how long. Eating anything was always a trigger for me (as I am sure it is for most of you), so I have been avoiding my triggers. I was asking myself the question, "Why bother going to get something to eat? You don't dip any more so there is no need to eat".   ... that is just frakked up ...   >>>>>Sgt_Phil had pizza and a huge salad for lunch ..

Sgt_Phil

Sgt_Phil

 

Climbing the mountain - with no top

It has now been 27 days since I Quit.   I still feel small changes to my body daily. I have also started a diet at the same time, but this is causing me two types of cravings. For some reason this seems to help, because I am in a struggle with both the food and the Dip addiction.   My teeth are starting to hurt again, which was one of the excuses I used to "give in" back in April (was still on Nicotine patches and candies so it was not much of a Quit). I will not back down this time; I will get all my teeth pulled before I put Copenhagen in my mouth again or use any kind of tobacco. I get little cravings, to try to smoke, "it's not really cheating, since it's not dip." This is complete bull-shit of course. No Dip, means no nicotine of any kind - EVER.   The contact by members of this site, asking me how it is going or commenting on my posts, all help me overcome the daily struggle. The roll-call helps to stay focused on the goal to Quit every day and never stop the Quit every day. I see people who have done this for years and I know I want to be in that group. I see people who have picked the dip back up after years and I know I never want to be in that group, but I see the courage in those same people to humbly show back up and start again. Every day is a chance at Victory and I will win each day. This is my climb and I will take one step higher every day and I will shout victory every day.

Colin27

Colin27

 

I'm 16 and I chew...Help Please.

Hello everyone, I just signed up and well as that title says I am 16 years old and I chew usually a can a day. I need to stop last week I broke two teeth by eating pie. And well I have high blood pressure stage hypertension 2. I have chewed on and off since I was about 13 and the last year I have chewed full time a can a day. My parents well my dad doesn't know I chew and my mom does and she is disappointed but doesn't want to tell my father. Please don't bash my parents or anything I just want advice and help. I am a full blown hick drive an F-250 and I live in the country. Anyways back to chew, I have tons of friends that can buy for me and all my friends chew. I started chewing because of stress mainly when I injured my shoulder... I now need a shoulder reconstruction and I lost everything, I can't play sports and my medical won't cover my physical therapy so I am just screwed and there went my dream of college football. So after the injury I started chewing all the time. Chew it isn't bettering me any but I just can't seem to stop and when I try I am a complete A**hole to everyone and just give then go get a can. I'm looking for any advice and help I can get I would like to stop but to be honest I love to chew it's like part of me I have chewed since I was young and it's grown on me. I've decided this is my last attempt to stop if this doesn't happen well f*ck it I will keep chewing it makes me happy and gets me through hard times. I have a fat lip of Grizzly Wintergreen in right now as I'm typing this..I've tried to chew snuff that is non tobacco like Smokey Mountain Snuff but it doesn't help at all. So please don't bash me or my parents or say I should tell them I need help or something. Because this is my battle I'm going to fight it not my parents...just me. So please don't bash or I will simply delete my account and continue to chew which I do not want. I will be checking on this site everyday from now. So please talk to me I would greatly appreciate it. Thanks!

ThatCountryBoy

ThatCountryBoy

 

Just Quit

I have been using Skoal, Red Seal for 41 years and decided that it was time to quit. WOW...what a hold. I am mad at my wife, everyone around me and do not enjoy the buzzy inside feeling that I am having. I am pressing forward though. I was told at the end of 3 days the physical addiction is over, that is a lie, I still have to purposely quit or I won't. I feel bad for my wife though, she hasn't done anything but love me, I will complete this journey, Just not sure when it will start to get better, it sucks right now. Glad I happened on to this site today. Still not sure what goes on here either!

revice

revice

 

Lack of motivation? No.

I have caved during my last several attempts at quitting this nic bitch. Each time I come on here and say this is it, I'm quitting for good this time, promise. Then I cave. I think about what all it takes to quit...motivation check, want-to check, support check, and so on.   Motivation... My mouth hurts, my teeth are yellow, and so on. Partly because of chewing, I quit taking care of myself. I'm only 25 and I've aged like milk. Two weeks ago I ended up in the ER with a blood clot in my leg....tobacco greatly increases your risk for blood clots. Blood clots are also often symptoms of cancer. Due to my life circumstances I can't go get screened or tested for anything like cancer until after Christmas which reeks havoc on my hypochondriac tendencies. But you know what, I wouldn't be a hypochondriac if I didn't chew...I'd have no more to worry about than any other 25 year old non-user. Because of the clot I am on blood thinners, some of which I have to self inject into my stomach with a syringe twice daily.....HORRIBLE! My stomach looks like a damn pin cushion. This is no way to live, at least not for someone my age. And even though doctors haven't ruled everything else out, I know my chewing habits well enough to determine the clot is related to the chew (whether its just a simple clot or some kind of cancer) and yet still went back to chewing a couple days out of the hospital.   After leaving the hospital and caving, I had to reflect and ask "if this doesn't make you quit, what will". That's a good question.   My wife and I are expecting our first baby Jan 20th. Today I will be posting role back at day 1. On the day my baby is due, I should be day at day 45. I've tried and failed quitting several times using the one day at a time method. I see the value in it, I do. But, obviously I am unable to quit just for me. For the next few weeks, I'm going to quit 45 days at a time. I'm going to make it do day 45, then one day at a time. I have never quit for more than a couple weeks so 45 will be a huge victory in my book. I'll plan for post-baby quitting but I have to get there first. This is for you mini-me!   Trevor

TrevorLee

TrevorLee

 

Struggles with Work and no Dip

For 11 years I have sat at a desk typing on a PC and answering phones with dip in my mouth.   I find that work and late at night are causing me the most difficulty. I thought it would be the morning and always putting dip in my mouth first thing, but that has not been a problem.   God is greater then I am and I give this up to God - God is greater than my addiction and my desire to put dip in my mouth. With God at my side I will not fail.   It is amazing how much that helps....deep breath and time to move on.

Colin27

Colin27

 

Donate and Help everyone Quit

I was told that $2/month from all of us members could cover chat. Since I suspect most of us are saving well over $4/day, this should not be a problem.   Please choose to contribute: http://www.quitsmoke...id=33&Itemid=43   See my recent entries to the right on why this is important to me and how the experiance has gone

Colin27

Colin27

 

Happy Thanksgiving.... Really????

What a couple of days. I was on cruise control until we decided to go to my parents house for Thanksgiving. Can we just say that 6 adults and five children under the age of 6 are just way too much for a 3 bedroom house?   After being at the house for 30 minutes I begged my wife to hide the car keys. I knew that if I found those keys it was off to the land of Copenhagen dreams. I was so tense and short tempered that I thought I was going nuts. Combine my emotions with the fact that I feel like I have gained 15 lbs and even though I never had a problem before, acid reflux is killing me, and it made for a memorable weekend, and I do not mean in a good way.   Thank you God for getting me home late this afternoon without having made a stop at my drug dealers place (the convenience store). I am still very short tempered, but I feel like I am starting to relax a little. Hopefully tomorrow will be spent putting up Christmas decorations and all will be good.   As tough as these few days were, it made me realize that I do have so many things to be thankful for: 1. A God that loves me even when I forget that at times 2. A family that even when they drive me crazy I would not trade them for the world 3. A patient wife that is helping me and encouraging me along this journey

RayJ

RayJ

 

How was day 7 and 8?

Day 7 – Thanksgiving day – I felt very thankful for this site and the people who reached out to check in on my! I am also getting to a place I can be more concerned about others too. My head is still cloudy, but at least this is the one day of my diet I can eat anything I want. Generally a great time with the kids and wife – first time we have done this at home. While I am feeling positive, I do have to take a couple of breaks to fight off the emotional energy. Later at night get a number of quick cravings and images of using dip – fight it off. I am really coming to understand how much of my life was controlled by this addiction.   Day 8 – Wow, I can tell I am coming out of the fog – not all here, but much better than last few days. Good day with family. I went to my first movie without dip in 13 years, very nice experience. Drank a bit too much water! I am starting to have more energy than I have felt for a long time. It is really nice to feel like I can be productive. I have a really desire to exercise for the first time in a long time.

Colin27

Colin27

 

Days 5 & 6

Day 5 started off crazy - had a 7AM meeting for the health check part of life insurance plan and the nurse could not find my veins, after sticking my three times and moving the needle all around trying to find the vein - all this after being 30 min late and bringing her 10 year old boy to a confidential medical exam. I ended up being overly reasonable because I knew I could not trust my emotional reaction. Ran a bunch of errands and did roll-call once I got home. Every little thing that "goes wrong" is getting on my nerves. I ended up agreeing to meet a different nurse in the morning Wednesday at a public parking lot to do the blood work in her car. I do some house work and finally go for a 2 hour motorcycle ride. My 18 year old daughter arrives home from college with her boyfriend and starts rambling about what is happening in her life. I try to explain what is going on with me Quitting and my friend dying, but she doesn’t really get it. Later that night my niece (also 18 – same age as my daughter) arrives as she is staying with us for thanksgiving. I am really excited to see her and provide her a place to call home (the last two years of high school she lived with my Dad – 78 years old and does not really have a home base). I am looking forward to my son’s arrival in the morning. We had agreed that he would show up at 8:30AM. It is his first time driving to a friend’s and spending the night and coming home in the morning, as he just got his driver’s license Monday. I crash late after talking with the girls and catching up on their lives.   Day 6 – I wake up pissed off about the whole situation with the nurse from yesterday and cancel my appointment. My son does not show up at 8:30 AM and I don’t get a call either. I log-in and do roll-call – NDT. I grow worried about my son at 9:15 rolls around. I call my ex-wife to find out if she has a number for the house he stayed at. I am really getting worried. He has not returned my calls or text messages. He finally sends a quick message to me about 9:30 that he over slept. That makes me feel better, but he doesn’t get to my house to 10:15AM (should have taken 20 min at the most). I am really pissed off, but know that I just can’t trust my emotional responses. I talk to him about what I experienced and felt when he didn’t call me back. He seemed to understand how his behavior negatively impacted me and seemed truly sorry about it. The rest of the day is a burl of Pre-thanksgiving activities – getting ham – shopping – pre for Thursday cooking. I am getting acid reflex issues again and go back on medication to deal with it. I am really tired, but have a high level on energy at the same time.

Colin27

Colin27

 

First three days + Day 4

I have heard that these three days are the hardest because you are overcoming the physical addiction.   Day 1 was very difficult, it was a Friday and I had to work all day. I felt light headed and kept getting pins and needles feeling like I didn't have circulation to my feet, or stomach or head or arms - the feeling kept moving around. Felt light headed. Did some text messaging and emails with people from this site. This really helped me get through. Day 1 is done - I Quit - No Tobacco all day - That feels awesome to say1. I also started a new Meat, beans and veggie diet. Quitting made the diet seem like a breeze. My wife was grumpier then I was.   Day 2 - Saturday - doing Thanksgiving day shopping with my wife. Having some problems focusing on more than one thing at a time, but I can focus on the one thing ok. Anger feelings seem to be related to the frustration on not being able to deal with as many things at the same time as I normally can. A tea bag, as a replacement for the dip in my mouth, has really helped the Oral fixation issues. I try to use Herbal tea, so as not to be replacing caffeine for Nicotine   Day 3 – Sunday – wake up and make breakfast – don’t have the energy to make breakfast for my wife as I have the last two days. Feeling resentful because I feel like I have been driving the whole diet, preparing all the meals and putting each one in a container with the right amount of each item… I realize the problem is really my Nicotine addiction, but I can tell my wife senses I am not happy with her. Just not together enough to explain I know I am not being rational. Go to church and feel a bit foggy – Not dip on the way to church – wooo hooo – not spitting in the parking lot feels great! Also stopping anti- acid medication today – see if my stomach problems are all related to the acidic tobacco. Go to Hockey game and my Checkers (AHL – affiliate of the Hurricanes) win!   On my way home an old college Fraternity Brother calls – says to give him a call when I get home. I figure the undergraduates have done something stupid or someone I know has died. It turns out a close friend of mine killed himself on Friday. It is Ironic that he was the one person I smoked with in College. Also figures I find out on the hardest day of this Quit – my wife and I laugh as she tells me, “You like a good challenge, ” and she is right.   Day 4 – Monday – at home alone after I help get my wife on her way to work (took vacation for this week to quit). I get some stuff around the house done, as we are having our first Thanksgiving at our house with my two kids and my niece. Some of my wife’s family was coming, but had to back out. I talk to another good friend who lives near my buddy who died as well as his wife. She explains how she found him hanging from a tree and about the note and what he was going through. We talk about what she is going though. THIS ABSOLUTLY SUCKS – FUCK – FUCK – FUCK - I get on my motorcycle and ride for a couple of hours with tea in my mouth. I always dipped when I road. I remember the last ride I took with my friend though the back roads of Southern VA. I loved him and still do. Fuck it pisses my off that he would end his life and stop the struggle we all have to go through together. I think the fact that my Mother did the same thing only using a train is part of why I am more angry. Worked on cleaning the house till bed time – kept my mind of everything.

Colin27

Colin27

 

Another Day!!!!

Major break thru this morning....... woke up, brushed my teeth and no gum bleeding today!!!! Time for a party. Also spent all day yesterday and today at home with my three girls. Talk about a huge temptation to dip.   Actually feeling really good about quitting. Have not had any major temptations yet.   Everyday I am putting $4.00 in a jar. It is nice to see that jar filling up. I even let my oldest daughter drop the $4.00 today as she told me how proud she was of me....   Keep it going. I am going to kick this addiction.

RayJ

RayJ

 

Just stop already!!!!!

Wow! Day number five and no Copenhagen. Not something that I ever really thought that I would hear myself say (or type).   It all started for me about 30 years ago on a baseball field, and other than a brief break for basic training when I joined the military, it has been a constant companion. Getting to the point where I was going thru almost 2 cans a day.   Of course, I said some pretty silly things along the way. - "Honey, of course I am going to stop before we get married. You are that important to me." - "I know I didn't stop before we got married, but why were you wanting to change me? Don't you love me for who I am" - "Of course I will stop before we have kids. I would never want them to see me with it." - "It's a girl, she is not going to pick up this habit." - "Of course I will stop before our second child is born." - "Oh thank God, another girl. No reason to stop." (never really said that one out loud, but certainly thought it.) - "You know that I am going to stop before baby # 3. I know I said it before, but I mean it this time." - "Score!!!!! It's a girl. That's number three. No boys means no one to pick up this nasty habit. See, God does not have a problem with my habit. If he did, he would have given me a boy to make me stop"   Then, reality hits. My birthday was Nov. 16th. On Tuesday the 15th we celebrated as family since my wife would be working the next night. She made a great dinner. As soon as I finished eating, I went to the kitchen to get a pinch, and then returned to the table while everyone else finished eating. Then, the girls (ages 6, 4, 2) wanted cake. They just could not understand why I was letting them eat my cake without eating any myself. It was because I did not want to take my dip out. My 4 year old ask me if I was not eating cake so that I could lose some weight so that I would be around until I was 99....   The next day I was on the road all day with plenty of time to sit and think about another birthday and what my 4 year old said the night before. Naturally, as I drove I was enjoying the relaxing effects of yet another pinch between the cheek and gum. As I drove and thought about what was said and prayed about my upcoming day something odd started to happen.   First, I admitted to myself that I was one selfish butt head. Always concerned about me, not my family. How can someone go for the last 8 years with no life insurance because he did not want to pay the smokers rate? How much time have I stolen from my girls in the past and in the future because of my addiction? And why in the heck is this Copenhagen starting to taste like crap as I drive. I probably went through 2 cans that day because I would put in a dip and then throw it out because it did not taste good.   By the time that I got home that night and got the girls in bed, it was obvious that I was going to make a change. I was going to cut back, and spend more time with my family. Then, it got wierd. I woke up the next morning as usual and started my routine. I was about 3 hours into the day before I realized that I had not had my morning pinch as soon as I had brushed my teeth. Then it occurred to me.... "YOU IDIOT!!!!!! Just stop already!!!!!" So I started searching for resources and came across this site. After reading for a couple of hours, I went around the house collecting cans (empty and full), cups and anything else Copenhagen related. (even a couple of belt buckles, a flask, and a few tin lids.) It all went into the trash and I felt a weight lifted off of my back.   Now it has been five days and I still haven't had that morning pinch yet. There have been a few moments where if I had it, I would have done it, but there hasn't been anything that I couldn't handle. I finally told my wife what I was doing yesterday. So many times I had told her that I was going to quit and then never even made an effort. So instead, I got it going on my own and then told her about it. She is very proud and even a little shocked that I am handling things so well so far.   I will continue to be thankful for my family and pray that God allows me to make up for lost time together, and that he continues to give me the strength to kick this thing.......   Ray

RayJ

RayJ

 

11/18/11 – Starting a day early

Thursday Night - I was planning of starting Saturday. I felt a lot of pressure from different "chat" sites including this one to quit now and not wait. I knew Thursday night I would have to buy more, if I was going to make it through Friday. I just couldn't see myself buying more. Part of me wants to continue with this truly disgusting habit and part of me want to stop. I just can’t buy any more to get me through “just one more day” – I think that doing that would just make it easier to fail later on and I can NOT fail – I have to quit.   Friday Morning – Wake up and make breakfast for wife and I as we start a new diet. I DO NOT dip as I have most mornings for the past 13 years. I can feel the cravings coming over the first hour. I finally give in to some beef jerky in my cheek and gum. That gets me past the first hump as I drive to work. By 7:30AM I feel a bit strange (8 hours with no dip now). I feel like my legs and hands don’t have enough circulation. By 8AM, I can feel the emotional pressure to take a dip – Wow it’s amazing – the images to dip, the feeling around in my mouth for what’s missing.   Time to sign up for Roll-call – Day one! N-MFing-DT

Colin27

Colin27

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