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Welcoming the Transition

Fish76

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One week. End of week one. 7 days of NDT success. I feel like, in some way, that I've reached the part where some of it is downhill from here. I know that sounds absurd. "Hey _____! Get in here!!! This fuckin' Fish dude has a whopping single week of quit and thinks it's smooth sailing from here on out!" Well, when you say it like that, I'm abjectly and completely full of shit...however, I get to say I've done this once before.

 

The last time I quit (not a real try/read the previous blog post/blah, blah, blah) the perspective of having been there before never occurred to me. As a former military guy, all of my buddies and I were well-prepared to deal with whatever came along by replying to our shared misery with a hearty, "We've been through worse." Food? Had worse. Shitty bed? Slept in worse places. Hurt yourself? It's not even close to as bad as i've seen. Somehow, that mental toughness and resilience to stress never really applied to nicotine. The "embrace the suck" mentality never made sense when I was never, really, more than 2 minutes from being in a place where i could get a fix. Dip/cigars/smokes/whatever. It was always nearby, so there was never any reason to look a shitty situation in the eye and say, "Bring it!" That was before actually, genuinely, trying to quit the nic-habit for real.

 

Now, a week matters. There will be another Monday where I didn't have a craving that I beat the last time I had a Monday craving. There will never be another Thursday-night-say-an-early-hello-to-the-weekend event that I tackled without a pinch of long cut firmly in place between cheek and gum. If I EVER meet a day of the week where there's a craving, and I'm sure they'll be plenty, I can now actually say that I've beaten a (insert day of week here) before. It may not be the worst Monday I've ever had... I certainly don't think that I've built up enough quit days to say that my worst days are behind me. I can't say to future challenges that I've had worse. But, the small victory I get to claim today is that I've beaten each day of the week once now. There's been a precedent set, and it was set by me. Tomorrow will be the 1st anniversary of the Thursday I quit, and I'm going to look back on that first day from a better place. My cravings aren't nearly as bad though they're still nearly as often. Nearly. I'm good for one every 30-45 minutes now, which is where I was at the end of day 2. But I've grown in my quit. My quit is stronger by the day. The NDT mantra is still holding strong with me and still inspires. It's something to live up to with the rest of the guys on this site. Only now, this is NDT with experience.

 

I hope the guys on here find something funny/comforting/absurd about this entry. So far, I'm taking the win. It's a good excuse to celebrate.

 

 



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