4 pointsIt's Day 2 and I'm blown away by how crummy I feel and how I got here. Let's just say that I have no "happy place" right now. It would seem that 32 years ago, when I was working shoveling horse pooh at a local barn, that little pitch of "hey try this kid," wouldn't still be haunting me. I was only 11, but it was the cool thing to do down at the stables. Then I decided to buy some off the other kids hanging around the stable. Apple brick it was. Pretty lousy stuff, but man did I look cool. I started buying it at Revco with my pooh shoveling cash. They and UST were very happy with my money. Hawken was next, then Skoal, and then I became the coolest kid when I switched over to Cope while at church camp (kinda funny). Man what a great buzz Cope delivered. The hooks were so deep now, but I didn't care because I didn't know that I was truly hooked! Well now I care and have cared over and over, but I've committed to myself this time vs others. I committed that this stupid little can will not dictate me anymore. I will stop at any corner store now (not just the one that always has the best date), I will not apologize to my two sons for "eating dirt" as we call it, I will not freak out if I finish my can before I go to sleep, I will not carry empty cans through security check-in so I can be secretive when I dip on the plane, I will not care if I have that window seat which helps hide it, I will not have to sneak away at my in-laws house, I will not have to do all if this and other stupid behaviors ever again....... I will not give up! The tobacco companies owe all of us an apology and some big fat checks. 365 days x 32 years x 1.5 cans per day average x $5ish average over the years = about $90,000 without adding interest, add on the dental work, commanded behavior, health risks, and how hacked off this makes me. These guys knew that hooking us as kids was a win for them and a huge loss for us. I'm really mad at them and at me for not being tough enough to beat that nicotine knife. The only good thing right now is that I feel better about myself and know my boys can tell how bad this stuff is. I doubt they will ever try nicotine and I pray they don't. Man a dip would be great right about now........ It ain't gonna happen though!
3 pointsMILES AGAINST DIP May 24 - July 26: 288.25 MAD ...........................9,412.75 MAD total Today's Footwear: Lone Peaks Weight: hovering around 180 (gaining back lost weight from training) 2017 race schedule: 01.14.17: Resolution Trail Run 4 hours: Complete: 6+ loops (16.25 miles) 01.28.17: Michigan Adventure Race: Complete: 21 checkpoint and 6 challenges (02:57:00 / 5 miles) 04.08.17: Forget The PR 50K, Volunteers Run: Complete: 08:00:00 09.23.17: Mountain Lakes 100: Ahoy mates! I have finally found a window of opportunity to post up in here. I assure you my absence has not been intentional. My 60+ hour work weeks ended at the beginning of July. The last few months we have been fixing up our house to put on the market. It has really consumed a lot of my life. We got a full price offer from the first people to look at it. After the inspection and re-negotiation then we might be moving in the month of August which should be my heaviest training month. I have only had two training weeks of 50+ miles and it's making me really nervous for my 100 mile race in Oregon in Sept. I have never been this undertrained going into a 100 miler. On vacation with my family in the smoky mountains this week and decided to try and catch up on some stuff including posting in here. This group means a lot to me and I feel like I have been ignoring it along with a lot of other aspects of my life. I do not like being this busy. I will be excited in the fall when everything slows down a bit. Hope everyone is doing well. Mohican 100 Race Report
3 pointsI was just thinking, different ways I try to rationalize and come up with excuses for having a dip. I could go to the store anytime and buy a can, I have been doing it for years and my teeth are still good. I have a beautiful wife. I don't have cancer. I know guys who have done it way longer than me who don't have cancer. Here in washington you can pay $6 to $9 per can but you can get cans on the reservation for just $2. Just one more can is not gonna kill me, or one more log, or one more week, month, year..... My grandfather died when I was 6 because he smoked tobacco. My parents did an excellent job teaching me about the dangers of smoking, I have never smoked. Then I think about my twin sons who are about to be born. You can be sure they will know the dangers and sorrows that smokeless tobacco can cause. It puts in perspective how the people who love me don't want me using and how hard I will work to teach my boys the dangers of tobacco and discourage them using.... so.... I guess its pretty important I quit for good