Jump to content
Quit Smokeless Community

Leaderboard


Popular Content

Showing content with the highest reputation since 03/03/2011 in all areas

  1. 13 points
    Kicking Back Flashback to February 2010: Went out for a late dinner with my wife. Woke up in the middle of the night because I had to relieve my bladder. Did so quickly because I wanted to get back to sleep before my mind kicked in. After doing so, while walking from the bathroom back to bed, I started to feel dizzy and saw darkness closing around me. Next thing I knew I was on the floor, coming to, while my wife was next to me, yelling my name. My wife said she was calling an ambulance. I told her she didn’t have to do that. I said I was OK, that it was just a freak accident from getting out of bed so fast and trying to force myself to take a leak quickly. She insisted on calling an ambulance and I kept insisting no. We compromised by me promising that I would make an appointment with the doctor come Monday morning. At the doctor’s appointment, while getting checked out, I’m explaining what happened when I passed out. The doctor removes the stethoscope from his ears and asks “Do you smoke?” I said “No” with a little self-righteous pride. The doctor then asks “Do you chew tobacco?” I thought it odd that he pinned down that question so fast. I hemmed and hawed, forcing myself to utter a barely audible “Yes.” The doctor asks “How long have you been chewing tobacco?” I glance at my wife before looking back at the doctor before answering. “Thirty years,” I whisper. I hear my wife gasp with surprise. It was like admitting to an affair that went on behind her back for that long. The doctor then starts to go on in great detail how chewing tobacco is detrimental to the vascular system and how I have an increased likelihood to have a heart attack or stroke, and that it probably had ‘something’ to do with me hitting the deck. The doctor then asks if I want to quit. I look at my wife again. She doesn’t even look back. I say “Yeah…one of these days.” The doctor discusses quitting options, wants to know if I would like to try any of the prescription methods that he runs through. I tell the doctor I would rather quit by going cold turkey. He asked me how I plan on doing that and I said I would commit to looking in to it. The doctor set up an appointment for a month later, when we could see how things have improved after I had quit. I never followed up on that appointment. I blew off my doctor. Flashback to April 2010: After a couple of months of my wife pestering me every other day, I flushed my can. "I have to do this," I thought. After one day I was crawling out of my skin. I was seconds away from leaving work and driving to the nearest C-Store and basking in the glory of a fresh dip after a long crave when I typed ‘quit dip’ into the google search box. I remember reading Bluesman’s ‘Secret of Our Success,’ and dozens of other Hall of Fame speeches. I could relate to every word. Everything written resonated deeply with where I was in life, and with my tobacco addiction. I wanted to have that freedom and ‘success’ that all those HOF writers were describing. I had tried many times and could not make it stick. I knew this addiction was ruining my health. I knew my relationships with loved ones had deteriorated. I knew my professional life stagnated. I knew my social life suffered. I was addicted to smokeless tobacco and I felt deep shame in that. I did not want anyone to know I dipped and went to great lengths to keep it secret. I also set up my life to ensure I had continual unfettered access to my dirty secret and was not going to let anything interfere. I was astonished to find that nearly all the quitters here felt the same. In the outside world, everyone treated me like I was some sort of weak freak for not giving up such a filthy habit years before, let alone how I could even start such a disgusting habit in the first place. Reading those HOF speeches on that day in April 2010 gave me a spark of hope that someone could understand how much I loved the stuff, how shameful it was for me, and how hard it was to quit. There was, however, proof here that I could quit. I posted roll call and did so religiously for about 200 days. However, around day 300, I gladly decided to march into the store to buy a can, and then stuff my lip. I continued to do so for another six years. I just buried my head in six feet of denial and ignored everything. Screw everyone and everything, I thought. In retrospect, there were warning signs that I wouldn’t make it that go-around: 1) I was not 100% quitting for myself. I mean, I was…and I wasn’t. I wanted good health. I wanted to improve the quality of my relationships. I wanted freedom from anxiety. I wanted people to pat me on the back. I wanted recognition. I wanted to have the success that comes with quitting—the things everybody else talked about—increased fitness, better health, better relationships, more time for interesting hobbies, and more energy to focus on professional endeavors. When those things did not happen fast enough—or not at all. I figured “What’s the use?” It is clear now that I put conditions on my quit. The conditions became more important than the quit. When the conditions weren’t met, I considered my quit a failure. I set myself up. 2) I wanted the symptoms of quitting to go away on MY timeline. The big thing here is the fog. After six months of being quit, I thought the fog was a permanent thing. I could not focus. I could no longer think a coherent thought. I could no longer write anything longer than a badly written sentence. Depression was another significant symptom that crept into my life for the first time after I quit. I thought the depression was a result of quitting and that it was permanent. I concluded that I would rather be dipping than be depressed. Some medications have benefits that outweigh the drawbacks. I diagnosed myself and wrote my own prescription. Small wonder I chose smokeless tobacco to fill the bill. 3) My activity on this site started to dwindle after about day 200 and became just about non-existent soon thereafter. I quit posting roll call. I quit reaching out, or whenever anyone reached out to me, I ignored them. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of being accountable. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of quitting, and I did not want anyone else in my business. I had better things to do. 4) Quitting stopped being my #1 priority, if it ever was. It was more like I was trying to fake it before I made it. Faking it began to feel too untrue. It is easy to go astray, but when you are in the middle of it, you do not even notice---everything seems normal until you turn around in circles, lost, alone, and bewildered, asking yourself “Where the hell am I and how did I get HERE?” This website answers those questions, and offers a path out. The path you choose is up to you. Dip wasn’t going to ever make anything better or solve any of my problems. I erroneously believed dip did for me what I would not or could not do for myself. No wonder I became so attached to it. After an additional six years of dip addiction, I came to realize that smokeless tobacco would never work its magic again. It was an erroneous premise to begin with. Quitting doesn't magically solve all my problems either. Just one of them. The rest is up to me. Fast Forward: March 8, 2017 – Today One year Quit. Here’s how I’ve done it: Don’t dip, no matter what. Post roll call every day. Give my word I will not dip today. Reach out personally to other quitters. Offer support to other quit groups. Ask for help. Don’t dip, no matter what. Repeat. Another important thing I’ve done is this: I have established a separate realm for my quit, beyond my personal life; whereby personal issues have no say in the quit matter. I am first and foremost quit today. Everything else is gravy. When I first arrived here, it was my hope to one day offer one hell of an inspirational story---to say I’ve done a triathlon, lost all the weight I need to take off, built my own company, traveled the world, climbed Mt. Everest, wrote the next great American novel, etc., all because I don’t dip anymore. Because I’ve done none of the above, I considered myself unworthy to say anything on the subject of successful quitting. Nonetheless, I have survived a tough run, and I’ve done so without dip for the past year. As I alluded to above, success doesn’t always revolve around my timeline. Also, I must re-consider my erroneous-egocentric-addict’s mind. Success comes in many different shapes and forms. 100 days... 365 days quit are major accomplishments in and by themselves. I’ll take it. I deserve to be here for those reasons alone. I would like to thank those who have supported me and listened to me whine and complain at times. I would also like to thank those who have left their words of wisdom and trials and tribulations in this space. All I can do is pay your service forward the best I can. Thirdly, I would also like to thank our patron and donors for giving us a place to do what was once impossible. And lastly: thank you, new quitters, for reminding me that dip is still out there kicking ass. Today I’m kicking back.
  2. 10 points
    Hi; I'm Hoggle and I'm a nicotine addict. The whole shebang got started back in 1985. I was at the movies with some friends and was offered my first Skoal Bandit. Anyone else on here still remembers the green can with the word BANDITS on the side in pseudo-western lettering? I do. Anway, I took the hook...and got hooked. Such began an addiction that lasted until 100 days ago. Since I didn't have to spit with Bandits, they were the perfect way to hide a dip addiction. I went through a tin a day - I got my Bandits from a skeezy little bodega-type place where no one cared about how old you were. I dipped everywhere - school, the workplace, etc. Total ninja dipper. So, what motivated me to quit? I am now getting into middle age. I plan to retire soon. It's just plain silly for me to continue a juvenile act of rebellion into my retirement. I need to quit. I am amazed that I kept that little tin for so long. I never had health issues; I had freedom issues. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I went out at some ungodly hour in the middle of horrible weather just to get a tin. No More! I got my money and freedom back. I got ME back. For you new people out there, take heart! It CAN be done; I did it. So can you. Firstly, post roll every damn day. There have been many times where that roll post was all that saved me from caving. Secondly, learn how addiction works. The average crave is over and done in three minutes, no shit. Surely you can suck it up and bear it for three minutes, right? Sure you can - we all can! Thirdly, don't ever think you can have 'just one' - NOPE! It's a drug addiction, not a bad habit. There is NEVER just one! As for my future here, I'm going to stick around for as long as the board will have me. I'm also going to go into the new groups and start working with newer quitters, now that I have what it takes to sustain a good quit. I hope you'll join me.
  3. 5 points
    This is for everyone who comes after me and anyone who came before me,when u are scrolling through these speeches,maybe you'll read this and hopefully it will inspire you,or possibly give you hope or strength,to help you quit or to help you stay quit. I don't have a profound reason for quitting or anything like that. I'm a regular person like all of you,I'm not any different or any better...I to have been addicted to nicotine...I guess I always will be...but my goal is to never put dip in my mouth again. Let me start from the beginning...I had my first dip when I was about 6 yrs old with my cousin who was about 5 yrs older than me,no this is not when I officially started dipping,lol...I puked instantly,cuz I swallowed it like candy. I took my first official chew that started me on a 27 year addiction to the nic bitch. I got a chew from another cousin at the age of 13...we were playing football at the time...then I would put one in doing yard work and stuff like that or farm work. I completely became addicted at 14...I would put one in,when I could,playing football, working,doing anything outside ..even in school,by this time,I would just tuck it in the back and that was it...I was only ever caught 2 times from 8th grade until I graduated. After I graduated,I had one in at work,in the morning,after lunch,up until I ate dinner,after dinner...and after a snack right before bed. As of now, once I'm full,which takes quite a while now,I still do have the urge to put a chew in and right before bed...but the urges and cravings are getting less and less strong. I also have to say here,that once you get through a couple of cravings,you learn how to deal with them and how to cope with them,they also last less and less as time goes on. In my addiction.. I have to say that I have loved nicotine and at times,I have thought that I would never quit ...and quite frankly,I didn't want to,for most of those 27 years. I had tried to quit quite a few times,but I know now that I wasn't that committed. Recently,I had been on another site like this and I caved...I also caved on this site as well...and I was called out for it and the person who called me out,has since quit posting,but I hope they haven't caved. I hope that I can be an inspiration to other people who have had as hard of a time quitting as I have,or anyone who might be a serial quitter...this habit is horrible... it's not wrong to cave, it's only wrong to quit trying to quit. The main reason that I think this quit is for good is because of God and my commitment to stay quit. I have finally let go and let God...he has blessed me with will power,strength, commitment,and the resolve and motivation to stay completely quit. God also blessed me with a great support,great family and my awesome support group that I have found on this site ...I have to say a special thanks to RWM,PMFJ,and STS...you guys have no idea how much you have helped me. I also have to say,be ready for bouts with rage,mood swings and an emotional roller coaster...one thing that has helped me is kava tea for helping to keep me calm and focus tea,which are both in the tea section,next to the coffee section in Walmart. I also learned recently that hypoglycemia,which is low sugar and being hungry can also feel like a nicotine craving ...so don't skip meals ... trust me,this really does help ...another thing is to stay hydrated,drink plenty of water,this also helps....another thing that I have learned is that nicotine eats caffeine,and now that we don't use nicotine,we are now getting every bit of the caffeine that we are drinking,I know for me, caffeine sometimes causes me to be edgy...so plz try to cut back on caffeine...also try to get plenty of sleep...in addition to these,at first you will probably have a hard time focusing...the focus tea mixed with the kava tea helps with staying calm and focused....it does get easier with time...we all have to remember,that we are healing and everyone is going to heal differently and at different rates...the main thing is to keep the crap out of our mouths...and post every day...stay committed to quitting and committed to your brothers and sisters in quit...do whatever it takes to stay quit...do whatever u need to do ...it doesn't matter what you do ..just don't dip...ONE SECOND AT A TIME...ONE MINUTE AT A TIME...ONE HOUR AT A TIME...ONE DAY AT A TIME ...good luck to all of you and God Bless
  4. 5 points
    I want to use my Hall of Fame speech to tell you a little bit about my addiction, about my decision to quit, how I quit, and what I might have done differently if I had to do it over again. I will be sprinkling in quotes from other Hall of Famers throughout my speech (in italics) as a way of honoring those who blazed the trail for me. But first I do want to do a short dedication and say thank you to those on QSSN who helped me down the trail. This 100 days quit is dedicated to Dr. Coleman J. Spector, DDS who is my oral surgeon. Yes my trip to go See The Spector changed my life and probably saved my life. I want to thank my quit bro BLG who is the other half of the Angry Quitters – Sick of Slavery team. Having someone like you to call, text or message has been a huge reason why I made it through some of the tougher days. Thanks Brother!! I also want to thank the many supporters that have joined us for roll call these past 100 days. They are: MacDanders, Duf, Chill, MCO, Mongrel, Dodowah, Lucky, jayst, Fish, NoMoreBear, ReDo, TR1960, 86Torker, Sweet Tony, Dave444, Rat, NMG, CraigMac, Jmuir, FES, Stockchart, bflem, Jeffrobd, and Johnny. A special extra shout out to Benpitt and Tiger Refuge who not only post support on our roll call almost every day, but who also join me in the Rage Room from time to time. Finally I want to thank a couple of guys quitting solely on the Facebook QSSN page who regularly message support. Keep up the good work Ben and Tom! My Life as a Dipper The days of dipping in high school seemed so carefree and harmless. I would only have a couple of small dips per day when I was studying or trying to cut weight for wrestling, dip was under a buck per can, and a can would last a week. It was easy to sign that first contract in pencil with my new friend dip. College life brought more freedom, tougher coursework, and a lot of beer drinking. My friend dip wanted to renegotiate its contract with me. This new contract had to be signed in ink and demanded five of six small dips per day, many cans per week, and it had some fine print I never read. When I got my first “big boy” job, dip was right there to congratulate me, but of course a renegotiation of our contract was also requested. This time, dip was asking for larger more frequent dips and for a can a day commitment. Since I now had a real job, dip argued that I could afford it. There was also a lot of new fine print in the contract that was so small that I could not read it. Dip said not to worry about the fine print, and oh by the way this new contract had to be signed in blood. Yea you guessed it. I signed the damn contract. I had pretty much sold my soul. Tobacco is the false friend who stabbed you in the back, robbed you, beat you, raped you, and left you for dead in a gutter on an unfamiliar street, in a country who's [sic] language you don't even speak. – JR January 8.2002 I hear a lot of the guys on this site describe themselves as ninja dippers (either they dipped when no one else was around or they were so discreet about it that no one knew they are dipping). For at least the last ten years of my 30+ years of dipping I have been the complete opposite of a ninja dipper, I was the 1/5 of a can of Timberwolf in my mouth for 15+ hours a day dipper. I dipped loud and proud and I dipped anywhere and everywhere. Not that I was ever rude about, but if other people didn’t like that I was dipping, then that was just tough shit, because nothing was coming between me and my dip (I was such an addicted asshole). It’s so freaking sad that in half the photos that were ever taken of me (unless they gave me warning) I look like Bubba from Forest Gump or one the Yanomami tribe (Google it or see the photo in the Rage Room). For the last several years of my addiction it was so bad that the only times during any given day that I did not have dip in my mouth were; meals, exercise and sex. And the sad part is that I rushed through all three of those things, just so I could put that poison crap back in my mouth as soon as possible (pathetic addict). I could write volumes regaling stories of how pathetically addicted I was and how sometimes my compulsion to dip would own me, but one story says it all. There were six of us out for a business dinner at best steakhouse in Louisville. An agent I work with was buying the dinner and our mutual client was buying the wine – so I was being treated. The appetizers were wonderful, and then the $55 steaks arrived cooked to perfection. One of the clients is an oenophile and is treating us to $250 bottles of wine. When the meal ended I was stuffed with delicious food and amazing wine and jonesing for a dip. But some folks wanted coffee, so we had to stay at the table a while longer. And oh yes I did. This pathetic dipper loads up his lip (good three finger pinch) right at the table and then takes one of the empty bottles of wine from the table to use as my oversize spitter. As an addict I had hit rock freaking bottom. Deciding to Quit Quit now or quit at the urging of your oral surgeon. I did it the latter, you be smart and do the former. – JR April 17, 2002 I had been having some mouth issues for a while so my regular dentist sent me to an oral surgeon. It was a Thursday afternoon when I went to go See The Spector (Dr. Spector DDS – Oral Surgeon). My blood pressure is off the chart because I am so nervous. With a mirror in my hand and a bright light in the hand of The Spector, we began to examine my mouth together. Neither of us liked what we were seeing. Occasionally he would take the light out of my mouth and it would shine in the mirror that I was holding, and kind of blind me. The blinding light in the mirror had an eerie look, as it kinda looked like the light at the end of a tunnel. This light was not a ray of hope. Nope, it was an oncoming train. A speeding train of tooth loss and gum grafts at the very best and at the worse - squamous cell carcinoma. I left Spector’s office in shock and headed for some time in the barber chair. Normally I would have a quick dip as I walked the 5 blocks to the barber, but on this day the can remained in my pocket. I grabbed a lollipop at the barbers, and as I sat in the chair getting clipped sucking on that lollipop, I made the decision quit dipping. When I left the barber, I went across the street to Walgreens and bought a big bag of lollipops and two boxes of nicotine gum. I went home and looked in the mirror. I was getting older and my gums were in bad shape, but at least my hair looked good (hehe). It was then that I gave myself the lecture of my life and the law was laid down. I said fine, if you need nicotine that badly, then I give you permission to be addicted to nicotine gum for the rest of your life. But you will never ever ever put tobacco in your mouth again. Do you hear me you selfish self-destructive addict? Yes, I heard myself loud and clear and Day 1 was born. Someday, you will regret not quitting. Don't pass up that golden moment, when you are ready to quit… – olywa mike March 18, 2002 So I had my lollipops and nic gum, but I had no idea what the hell I was doing or what I was in for. I knew I needed help, and fast. I had found a couple of other sites on the internet geared for people trying to quit smokeless tobacco, and started reading some articles and posts. It’s weird how constantly reading what others went through in quitting helped me get through the first couple of days. I did come to realize that my use of NRT was against the “rules” of these other quit sites and I was not welcome in their quit groups or chat areas. Thank God I went back to my search results and found QSSN. It was exactly what I needed, and I joined my quit group on the 4th day of my quit. My use of NRT I am not an advocate for NRT and I don’t necessarily recommend its use as a quit aid. That being said I am unapologetic about using for the first part of my quit. My goal was to quit using tobacco – PERIOD!!! I was up front about my NRT use with my quit brother, but other than that I never really brought it up. I think everyone is a little different in the way they want to approach their quit, and I will support the cold turkey quitters and those wearing a patch on their arms with equal enthusiasm. Do I think NRT helped me? I’m not really sure. Maybe for the first week or so, but in general I found nic gum to be quite unsatisfying. Right after my second week of using the gum, I just found that I wanted it less and less. Quite by accident, I missed having a piece in the morning one day, so I had my first piece of the day in the afternoon. The same thing happened the next day. The third day of that week my first piece of nic gum was after the evening meal. The forth day I made it almost until bed time. On day 22 of my quit I just stopped using nic gum altogether. However, whatever it takes to quit you should be willing to do. Beat this addiction FIRST, then worry about gum, patches, fake dip, etc. As long as there is no snuff in your mouth, you will be on the road to beating the addiction. No one here thinks any less of you if you use quit aids, and there are no special prizes for quitters that went cold turkey. 100 days is 100 days. Just quit. – Trying July 15, 2002 What I Would Have Done Differently Timing: Timing is everything, and my timing for quitting dip sucked big time. Yes I decided to quit dip as a spur-of-the-moment decision two days after my father’ funeral. Yep I buried my dad, and decided to give up a 35-year habit two days later. Not a wise choice, as I had no idea the grief that I was feeling over the loss of my dad could be eclipsed tenfold by the grief of the loss of my “best friend” (dip) (see below for more on grief). My second error in timing was launching my quit on December 1st as the stressful holiday season was approaching and the days were the shortest - bringing on the seasonal depression. I weaned myself off of NRT on the 22nd of December so I timed a perfect nic withdrawal right at Christmas with the families. OH YEA, then I messed it up even more by planning a dream vacation to Easter Island with my significant other in mid January. Nothing like going halfway around the world to one of the most beautiful places on earth just to be an angry irritable son of a bitch (sorry mom). I know that timing is often used as an excuse not to quit (i.e. things are just too hectic for me to quit right now). However, one should be conscious that making too many major life changes at one time is not a good idea either. Advanced Preparation: Preparation is key!!! My quit was pretty much: FIRE, Ready, Aim. I liked dipping (or at least my addiction led me to believe I did) so had never really wanted to quit before. Sure maybe I thought that I should quit, but I had never made any steps towards actually quitting since I really did not want to quit. So here it is a Thursday afternoon and for the first time in my life the “brass ring of quitness” comes into view and it’s within my reach. I grab that brass ring and pull with all my might, and I have done it – I have quit dip. Great, I have quit, so now what do I do? I have no idea. Wish I would have read Bluesman’s articIe before I pulled the trigger. You must be willing to do literally ANYTHING to free your mind! In my case, the "do anything" approach has meant using herbal chews, chewing gum, hard candies, Altoids, prayer, eating snacks, taking walks, drinking water, working out, jogging, leaving work early, changing my routines, drinking more coffee, going to church in the middle of the day, and spending hours reading and posting on this website. If you need nicotine supplements (gum or patch) or an anti-depressant prescription, then go get them, right now. In fact, have everything ready on Day -1, so that you have these things ready when you need them. And tell everyone about your decision and your commitment. "Burn every boat," so to speak, so that you cannot break your commitment without embarrassment, without publicly admitting failure, and without swallowing your pride. Make it more difficult to cave that to remain true to your commitment (see "do anything" above). In fact, invest so much time and effort into your commitment that you absolutely HAVE to stick it out. Every step away from a prison cell is a step towards freedom. – Bluesman 2002 Being Prepared for the Grief: I was totally and wholly unprepared for the grief and mourning over the major life change of giving up dip. I was ready for withdrawal symptoms, but the feelings of grief and mourning over the loss of dip were/are so overwhelming that I will post a separate rant about it in the Rage Room. But for right now, I will tell you that only the death of my dog can compare with the emotional pain and sense of loss that I felt with giving up dip. Yes, I grieved immensely for my father, but in reality, dad and I talked a couple of times a month on the phone and saw each other a couple of times a year. My dog was always by my side for 13 years and was my constant companion, and when he died it was like having part of my heart ripped out. Likewise dip was my constant companion for 30 years and was my “best friend” who went everywhere and did everything with me (addiction messes with your mind so much that you think a can of poison is your best friend). When I quit dip, it felt like my best friend had died. I thought I was the only one feeling a sense of mourning and grief over the loss of dip, but I would come to find out that it is way more common with smokeless quitters than one would think. It’s OK to grieve. A major part of our lives (dip) is gone forever (died). We just need to remember that our association with dip had to die, or that we were going to die from our association with dip. The emotional or daily life aspect of dipping was harder for me than any physical symptoms. Hell at one point I felt like I was mourning the death of a friend, literally. What I was really mourning was the fact that I had attached dipping to so many good memories that dipping itself had become my emotional tie in to the past, and THAT'S what was bullshit. – Tiger Refuge May 16, 2013 Being Prepared for How Long the Irritability and Depression Might Last: I must say that I was also totally unprepared for how long it can take for the brain to “heal” itself after years and years of nicotine abuse. I was not prepared for the depression and I was not prepared for the irritability, short temperedness, and rage to continue for so long. It was only by reading so many posts on this site from other quitters and by reading some posts on smoking cessation sites that I began to realize that it could be a very long road to full recovery. Everyone’s quit and everyone’s brain is different. For some, they all good after a couple of months, but for others it can take years to feel close to “normal” again. I suspect that I am one of those people for whom it will take a longer time to fully heal. Just knowing that is half battle. So, I will acknowledge that my brain chemistry is still messed up, I will not set arbitrary timelines for my recovery, and I will keep my chin up and not use any tobacco products One Day at a Time. After a few days of hell, a few months of being a miserable prick and a few years of regular cravings I am finally coming out on the other side. I tell you all, find support, kick it completely and hold on. You will come through it. Do not get caught comparing your quit to others. When at 100 or 200 days people told me they really were not struggling anymore I wanted to punch them in the face. For me, it did not let go quickly, but it is now [at 1,000 days]. I have a dear friend on this site who past 1,000 days is still struggling like I was 200 days ago. I called her yesterday to tell her to have hope. We have lamented to each other so many times “why isn’t this easy yet? I hope the fact I am finally getting there can be an inspiration that hope springs eternal. – Tamado September 2007 Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Regards, Bruce
  5. 4 points
    My trigger is being awake
  6. 4 points
    12 years ago I went tobacco-free. While I used nicotine gum for another 3 months, this is still an important milestone for me, especially since I was nicotine-free for 44 days before finding this forum.
  7. 4 points
    Fredy, The decision of whether a medication can improve your life is highly individualized and of course is not something that should be taken lightly. You have already done it right and have spoke with a psychiatrist to help you better understand brain chemistry. I was on bupropion (150 mg) a day from about day 100 of my quit to about day 400. I was reluctant at first to go on meds. You know all the reasons most people don't seek mental health treatment: was a sign of weakness, was cheating on not toughing out my quit, had a stigma of "needing meds", etc. Points to consider. 1. We fucked up our dopamine receptors badly by being hopped up on nicotine for years and years. Everyone's brain heals at a different rate. Mine took a damn long time and I am not sure it is fully healed yet. I know my brain was constantly crying out for a dopamine "tickle" after I quit. All I wanted to do since I could not have tobacco was to do thrill seeking activities, eat dark chocolate, have orgasms, and do strenuous exercise, as these all give that dopamine tickle to the brain. But it was sill not enough. Bupropion (Welbutrin) can be highly effective (and was for me) in lessening the feeling the something was "missing" from my brain chemistry. 2. I do have other family members who are on bupropion for mental health reasons, and were never tobacco users. Chemical imbalances in the brain often tend to be inherited or have an genetic component. It is possible for some of us that we had a pretty significant chemical imbalance with our brains from the start. I know I was told I had ADD/HD at a young age and was always seeking out dangerous stuff to do. Then I found tobacco. I was self medicating. But I was self medicating with a poison plant that was going to cost me half of my jaw someday. Much much better to treat a chemical imbalance with real pharmaceuticals under the eye of a MD than it is to shove poison tobacco in one's mouth. 3. No pill or med will be a magic bullet that will making quitting and staying quit "easy". Quitting and staying quit is hard work and always will be. You will still need to do everything you have been doing to stay quit and double down on your focus not to use tobacco. While bupropion can help your brain not want the dopamine tickle that nic provided, it CANNOT help with the mental association we placed with dip and life activities (driving, fishing, yard work, etc.). Breaking that association that dip was my "friend" that was always there with me, is what you will need to keep focused on, even if you do take bupropion. Just a reminder that dip is not a friend, it never was. It's just a can of ground up poison leaves. I hope my ramblings will help you and others. Remember I was a "scorched earth" quitter. I was going to do anything and everything to stay quit. Yea, I was on bupropion for about a year. It was just another tool in my arsenal to keep quit. I wish you luck with your decision.
  8. 4 points
    It's Day 2 and I'm blown away by how crummy I feel and how I got here. Let's just say that I have no "happy place" right now. It would seem that 32 years ago, when I was working shoveling horse pooh at a local barn, that little pitch of "hey try this kid," wouldn't still be haunting me. I was only 11, but it was the cool thing to do down at the stables. Then I decided to buy some off the other kids hanging around the stable. Apple brick it was. Pretty lousy stuff, but man did I look cool. I started buying it at Revco with my pooh shoveling cash. They and UST were very happy with my money. Hawken was next, then Skoal, and then I became the coolest kid when I switched over to Cope while at church camp (kinda funny). Man what a great buzz Cope delivered. The hooks were so deep now, but I didn't care because I didn't know that I was truly hooked! Well now I care and have cared over and over, but I've committed to myself this time vs others. I committed that this stupid little can will not dictate me anymore. I will stop at any corner store now (not just the one that always has the best date), I will not apologize to my two sons for "eating dirt" as we call it, I will not freak out if I finish my can before I go to sleep, I will not carry empty cans through security check-in so I can be secretive when I dip on the plane, I will not care if I have that window seat which helps hide it, I will not have to sneak away at my in-laws house, I will not have to do all if this and other stupid behaviors ever again....... I will not give up! The tobacco companies owe all of us an apology and some big fat checks. 365 days x 32 years x 1.5 cans per day average x $5ish average over the years = about $90,000 without adding interest, add on the dental work, commanded behavior, health risks, and how hacked off this makes me. These guys knew that hooking us as kids was a win for them and a huge loss for us. I'm really mad at them and at me for not being tough enough to beat that nicotine knife. The only good thing right now is that I feel better about myself and know my boys can tell how bad this stuff is. I doubt they will ever try nicotine and I pray they don't. Man a dip would be great right about now........ It ain't gonna happen though!
  9. 3 points
    If you quit between 10/25/2018 - 11/21/2018 this is your quit group. To join this group all you have to do is quit dipping and post Roll Call How to post roll call. (updated!) Get the Contract to Give Up Print it out and carry it in your wallet Click Here for a room to exchange phone numbers. Accountability is key  Thursday November 1st. 2018  Quitters Sign Here: Bam - day 8. Not dipping today. I'm ready for what today brings me. Yesterday was a bit harder than day 6 which I wasn't expecting. But today I'm ready for whatever the nic bitch throws at me, I'm going to fight back tooth and nail. I will NOT be putting that shit in my mouth today. Nick- day 7. One whole week with no dip and I will not dip today. Kevin - day 2 it was a frustrating day yesterday but ready to tackle today!  SUPPORTERS:  RWM -604- the main goal is no dip today. aug4-90- I am here to support all of you in this journey. But I will go ahead and say that Kevin was originally with us in the November group and I am very glad to see him back in another quit group so soon. So you may have caved but you have the will and desire to go right back after this quit. Everyone can do this. Post every day, find other things to occupy your mouth - gum seeds fake chew whatever. Realize you are not going to be normal for a bit. Warn your loved ones. Just decide you can do it and do it.  FoodBuzz -306- There will be days where fog turns and you will feel proud and satisfaction for where you’ve come. Keep pushing, it’s not easy but very worth it. NDT quit with you all here! PMFJ - 453 - Keep that shit outta your face!! NMFD!! STS - 701: Dip sucks, so I am not going to do any. Tiger - 2107 - We cave because we are scared. Scared that we can’t do it. Scared that we will lose something. Scared that shit will be different. Scared that we can’t do it without dip. Scared of what normal looks like without dip. The reality is, we can do it. All of it. Without that horseshit. Why the hell do you want to let something like that control you? I mean REALLY CONTROL you. Got you by the MAN NUGGETS. Fuck that. FUUUCK that. Dip ain’t worth it. You and I are way stronger that’s that shit. I remember I always used to lie to myself and say “Man, I don’t want to quit. I LOOOOOOOOOOVE dipping.” Lie. Bullshit lie. I knew I wanted to quit, I just didn’t have the guts to do it. Once I found this place and you guys, I knew it was just a matter of time. I love the saying, once you’ve seen this place, you can’t “unsee” it. It’s the truth. Once you see quitters loving being quit...it’s over. NMFDT with you badasses.
  10. 3 points
    I'm nicotine-FREE Twelve Years today. I only continue to post to encourage others and to remind myself that I once could not make it through a day without constantly - or as often as possible - having dip in my mouth. Since taking the plunge, I've encountered many, many issues and problems such as are common to humans, but not a single one would have been better with a dip in my mouth. Nicotine does not make anything better, it only feeds the addiction and keeps you enslaved. If you are on the fence, be assured that you can face and enjoy life without nicotine - and also eliminate the worry about its consequences. One hour, one crave, one day at a time with a commitment to do anything necessary to stay nicotine-free will pay off with huge dividends. Plus, you have strong support from this band of brothers & sisters. ~Euty, day 4,384 nicotine free.
  11. 3 points
    Glad to hear Bear is still quit. For me, I know I can't dabble with nicotine ever again. Was sharing that with a friend that is also an ex-dipper. He told me a story about a raft trip he was on where a friend talked him into just having a cigar. He said that within a short distance down the river he was on his second cigar with a dip in on each side. Regardless of how long it takes to ramp back up, that's where I'd be sooner or later if I start dabbling with anything that contains nicotine. Think I'll just keep posting up a daily commitment whenever possible for the foreseeable future to keep that thought in my brain and not let me kid myself again that I can dabble and not end up a total slave.
  12. 3 points
    Pioneer Quitters  Thursday June 14, 2018 QUESTION OF THE DAY: Would you tell your kids there’s no Santa or wait for them to figure it out on their own? FoodBuzz -168- I let them figure it out on their own, but it’s a bit rough with a double aha moment; 1) Santa isn’t real and 2) I’ve been lying to them this whole time. Yet I can’t stand to tell them and I let the innocent lie go on for as possible. NDT! Hoggle - 110 - I don't have kids, but if I did, I'd make it clear that Santa is just pretend. Later, I'd explain that Santa is a metaphor for human generosity Dillhole 94 NDT - I can't remember. I think we told them after they suspected something was up when they found Santa on top of there mother under the tree one Christmas eve
  13. 3 points
    Pioneer Quitters  Monday, March 21, 2018 QUESTION OF THE DAY: What do you strongly suspect, but have no proof of?  Hoggle - 86 - I strongly suspect that the government knew about 9/11 before it happened, and chose to let it happen in order to get the USA involved in the War On Terror, and to pass the USA PATRIOT act. DH 70 NDT - Hillary Clinton is a man Support: STS - 537: I strongly suspect that P.T. Barnum was correct about what people would believe. I believe that I am quit today. Oh yea, Fuck Tobacco
  14. 3 points
    Had a dip dream last night - didn't feel guilty, suprisingly. What I did feel was the dread of going through the fist few weeks again - let us not forget the amount of suckage we went through to get freedom.
  15. 3 points
    The Quit Kitchen "Cookin up a fresh batch of quit every day"~FUNB
  16. 3 points
    Bananahammock Quitmasters?
  17. 3 points
    Thanks FoodBuzz, looking forward to being past 100 days as a spring board to living the balance of my life without feeding my nicotine addiction. Funny talking about the c-store, for me it was pretty much just the chew store. I buy gas now but rarely ever go inside. I always have cash on me too, the same cash. My wife keeps getting me cash when she goes to the bank and I add it to my wallet and sitting lopsided shows me how much $$$ I was wasting on that crap. Will be in the mountains turkey hunting on day 100 with one of my boys, but will post when I get some cell service. NDT! ODAAT! = FREEDOM!
  18. 3 points
    Four years today, ladies and gents. I remember it better than I remember my birthday. Happy December! mongrel - 1,461
  19. 3 points
    A cowboy appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. Have you ever done anything of particular merit?', St. Peter asked. 'Well, I can think of one thing,' the cowboy offered.. 'On a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, 'Now, back off or I'll kick the crap out of all of you!' St. Peter was impressed, 'When did this happen?' 'Couple of minutes ago.'
  20. 3 points
    5400+ days quit. 15 years into a quit that I never thought would ever begin. QuitSmokeless.org saved mine and many other lives. Simple: you quit, you post, you succeed. That was my path. Not everyone follows that same path, that is why I keep coming back here. Success is possible and the first step is putting down the can. I found this site 2 days after i put the can down. Sweat was running down my forehead and I was ready to cave. I typed into Yahoo, "help quitting smokeless tobacco" and my cry for help was answered with Matt Van Wycks website and life saving buoy. To those out there struggling, trying to quit....i was in your shoes..as difficult as it may seem, it is simple in execution: Dont dip. Wake up. Dont dip. Repeat for 5400 days. Good luck fellow quitters!
  21. 3 points
    MILES AGAINST DIP May 24 - July 26: 288.25 MAD ...........................9,412.75 MAD total Today's Footwear: Lone Peaks Weight: hovering around 180 (gaining back lost weight from training) 2017 race schedule: 01.14.17: Resolution Trail Run 4 hours: Complete: 6+ loops (16.25 miles) 01.28.17: Michigan Adventure Race: Complete: 21 checkpoint and 6 challenges (02:57:00 / 5 miles) 04.08.17: Forget The PR 50K, Volunteers Run: Complete: 08:00:00 09.23.17: Mountain Lakes 100: Ahoy mates! I have finally found a window of opportunity to post up in here. I assure you my absence has not been intentional. My 60+ hour work weeks ended at the beginning of July. The last few months we have been fixing up our house to put on the market. It has really consumed a lot of my life. We got a full price offer from the first people to look at it. After the inspection and re-negotiation then we might be moving in the month of August which should be my heaviest training month. I have only had two training weeks of 50+ miles and it's making me really nervous for my 100 mile race in Oregon in Sept. I have never been this undertrained going into a 100 miler. On vacation with my family in the smoky mountains this week and decided to try and catch up on some stuff including posting in here. This group means a lot to me and I feel like I have been ignoring it along with a lot of other aspects of my life. I do not like being this busy. I will be excited in the fall when everything slows down a bit. Hope everyone is doing well. Mohican 100 Race Report
  22. 3 points
    Well 22 years of not going to the dentist ended yesterday. By the grace of God I do not have any bone loss, cancer signs or excessive gum loss. In the past this news would have been an invitation to go out and buy a can. Today it is different, I am committed this time. I have my first dental cleaning in a week, actually looking forward to it!
  23. 3 points
    This seems like a as good a place to post this as any. I sent the following to my boss as well as the other engineers, five of them in all that have been on this location in the last nine months. We have all lived in this one camp while we were here for our hitches. I am sure I know which one did it, but so will everybody else that reads it so I did not have to name the culprit. Eric, I had the privilege this morning of cleaning up 508 cigarette butts that were strewn from the back door of our house all the way around to our lab, which is about 50 yards away. The biggest concentration, 210, was about 5 yards away from our back door, just over the berm, in the sagebrush off location. I found another little pile about 20 yards out into the sage, 78 in this one. As if someone was enjoying a nice little stroll and a smoke in the evenings. I was not going to mention it, just clean it up and growl, but when I got to 200 butts I was aggravated. When I got to 400 I was absolutely pissed. Whoever did this was deliberate and conscious of the mess they were making. A giant screw you to Shell, M-I, and Wyoming. I am beyond words to describe how childish and willful this act is. I cleaned it all up, not to save some asshole from getting in trouble, but for myself, since it reflects on me and all of M-I as a bunch of pigs who are too damn lazy to pick up after our selves. the last directional company has been run off from here and the final nail in their coffin was the trashing of their camp when 632 left. In closing, I would like to thank whoever the ass was for reaffirming my loathing of smoking and the lips that wrap around them. Your too weak to Quit and apparently too weak to carry a Butt to the garbage, sad, sad, sad. John

Announcements

  • Newsletter

    Want to keep up to date with all our latest news and information?

    Sign Up
×