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  1. 13 points
    Kicking Back Flashback to February 2010: Went out for a late dinner with my wife. Woke up in the middle of the night because I had to relieve my bladder. Did so quickly because I wanted to get back to sleep before my mind kicked in. After doing so, while walking from the bathroom back to bed, I started to feel dizzy and saw darkness closing around me. Next thing I knew I was on the floor, coming to, while my wife was next to me, yelling my name. My wife said she was calling an ambulance. I told her she didn’t have to do that. I said I was OK, that it was just a freak accident from getting out of bed so fast and trying to force myself to take a leak quickly. She insisted on calling an ambulance and I kept insisting no. We compromised by me promising that I would make an appointment with the doctor come Monday morning. At the doctor’s appointment, while getting checked out, I’m explaining what happened when I passed out. The doctor removes the stethoscope from his ears and asks “Do you smoke?” I said “No” with a little self-righteous pride. The doctor then asks “Do you chew tobacco?” I thought it odd that he pinned down that question so fast. I hemmed and hawed, forcing myself to utter a barely audible “Yes.” The doctor asks “How long have you been chewing tobacco?” I glance at my wife before looking back at the doctor before answering. “Thirty years,” I whisper. I hear my wife gasp with surprise. It was like admitting to an affair that went on behind her back for that long. The doctor then starts to go on in great detail how chewing tobacco is detrimental to the vascular system and how I have an increased likelihood to have a heart attack or stroke, and that it probably had ‘something’ to do with me hitting the deck. The doctor then asks if I want to quit. I look at my wife again. She doesn’t even look back. I say “Yeah…one of these days.” The doctor discusses quitting options, wants to know if I would like to try any of the prescription methods that he runs through. I tell the doctor I would rather quit by going cold turkey. He asked me how I plan on doing that and I said I would commit to looking in to it. The doctor set up an appointment for a month later, when we could see how things have improved after I had quit. I never followed up on that appointment. I blew off my doctor. Flashback to April 2010: After a couple of months of my wife pestering me every other day, I flushed my can. "I have to do this," I thought. After one day I was crawling out of my skin. I was seconds away from leaving work and driving to the nearest C-Store and basking in the glory of a fresh dip after a long crave when I typed ‘quit dip’ into the google search box. I remember reading Bluesman’s ‘Secret of Our Success,’ and dozens of other Hall of Fame speeches. I could relate to every word. Everything written resonated deeply with where I was in life, and with my tobacco addiction. I wanted to have that freedom and ‘success’ that all those HOF writers were describing. I had tried many times and could not make it stick. I knew this addiction was ruining my health. I knew my relationships with loved ones had deteriorated. I knew my professional life stagnated. I knew my social life suffered. I was addicted to smokeless tobacco and I felt deep shame in that. I did not want anyone to know I dipped and went to great lengths to keep it secret. I also set up my life to ensure I had continual unfettered access to my dirty secret and was not going to let anything interfere. I was astonished to find that nearly all the quitters here felt the same. In the outside world, everyone treated me like I was some sort of weak freak for not giving up such a filthy habit years before, let alone how I could even start such a disgusting habit in the first place. Reading those HOF speeches on that day in April 2010 gave me a spark of hope that someone could understand how much I loved the stuff, how shameful it was for me, and how hard it was to quit. There was, however, proof here that I could quit. I posted roll call and did so religiously for about 200 days. However, around day 300, I gladly decided to march into the store to buy a can, and then stuff my lip. I continued to do so for another six years. I just buried my head in six feet of denial and ignored everything. Screw everyone and everything, I thought. In retrospect, there were warning signs that I wouldn’t make it that go-around: 1) I was not 100% quitting for myself. I mean, I was…and I wasn’t. I wanted good health. I wanted to improve the quality of my relationships. I wanted freedom from anxiety. I wanted people to pat me on the back. I wanted recognition. I wanted to have the success that comes with quitting—the things everybody else talked about—increased fitness, better health, better relationships, more time for interesting hobbies, and more energy to focus on professional endeavors. When those things did not happen fast enough—or not at all. I figured “What’s the use?” It is clear now that I put conditions on my quit. The conditions became more important than the quit. When the conditions weren’t met, I considered my quit a failure. I set myself up. 2) I wanted the symptoms of quitting to go away on MY timeline. The big thing here is the fog. After six months of being quit, I thought the fog was a permanent thing. I could not focus. I could no longer think a coherent thought. I could no longer write anything longer than a badly written sentence. Depression was another significant symptom that crept into my life for the first time after I quit. I thought the depression was a result of quitting and that it was permanent. I concluded that I would rather be dipping than be depressed. Some medications have benefits that outweigh the drawbacks. I diagnosed myself and wrote my own prescription. Small wonder I chose smokeless tobacco to fill the bill. 3) My activity on this site started to dwindle after about day 200 and became just about non-existent soon thereafter. I quit posting roll call. I quit reaching out, or whenever anyone reached out to me, I ignored them. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of being accountable. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of quitting, and I did not want anyone else in my business. I had better things to do. 4) Quitting stopped being my #1 priority, if it ever was. It was more like I was trying to fake it before I made it. Faking it began to feel too untrue. It is easy to go astray, but when you are in the middle of it, you do not even notice---everything seems normal until you turn around in circles, lost, alone, and bewildered, asking yourself “Where the hell am I and how did I get HERE?” This website answers those questions, and offers a path out. The path you choose is up to you. Dip wasn’t going to ever make anything better or solve any of my problems. I erroneously believed dip did for me what I would not or could not do for myself. No wonder I became so attached to it. After an additional six years of dip addiction, I came to realize that smokeless tobacco would never work its magic again. It was an erroneous premise to begin with. Quitting doesn't magically solve all my problems either. Just one of them. The rest is up to me. Fast Forward: March 8, 2017 – Today One year Quit. Here’s how I’ve done it: Don’t dip, no matter what. Post roll call every day. Give my word I will not dip today. Reach out personally to other quitters. Offer support to other quit groups. Ask for help. Don’t dip, no matter what. Repeat. Another important thing I’ve done is this: I have established a separate realm for my quit, beyond my personal life; whereby personal issues have no say in the quit matter. I am first and foremost quit today. Everything else is gravy. When I first arrived here, it was my hope to one day offer one hell of an inspirational story---to say I’ve done a triathlon, lost all the weight I need to take off, built my own company, traveled the world, climbed Mt. Everest, wrote the next great American novel, etc., all because I don’t dip anymore. Because I’ve done none of the above, I considered myself unworthy to say anything on the subject of successful quitting. Nonetheless, I have survived a tough run, and I’ve done so without dip for the past year. As I alluded to above, success doesn’t always revolve around my timeline. Also, I must re-consider my erroneous-egocentric-addict’s mind. Success comes in many different shapes and forms. 100 days... 365 days quit are major accomplishments in and by themselves. I’ll take it. I deserve to be here for those reasons alone. I would like to thank those who have supported me and listened to me whine and complain at times. I would also like to thank those who have left their words of wisdom and trials and tribulations in this space. All I can do is pay your service forward the best I can. Thirdly, I would also like to thank our patron and donors for giving us a place to do what was once impossible. And lastly: thank you, new quitters, for reminding me that dip is still out there kicking ass. Today I’m kicking back.
  2. 8 points
    Hi; I'm Hoggle and I'm a nicotine addict. The whole shebang got started back in 1985. I was at the movies with some friends and was offered my first Skoal Bandit. Anyone else on here still remembers the green can with the word BANDITS on the side in pseudo-western lettering? I do. Anway, I took the hook...and got hooked. Such began an addiction that lasted until 100 days ago. Since I didn't have to spit with Bandits, they were the perfect way to hide a dip addiction. I went through a tin a day - I got my Bandits from a skeezy little bodega-type place where no one cared about how old you were. I dipped everywhere - school, the workplace, etc. Total ninja dipper. So, what motivated me to quit? I am now getting into middle age. I plan to retire soon. It's just plain silly for me to continue a juvenile act of rebellion into my retirement. I need to quit. I am amazed that I kept that little tin for so long. I never had health issues; I had freedom issues. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I went out at some ungodly hour in the middle of horrible weather just to get a tin. No More! I got my money and freedom back. I got ME back. For you new people out there, take heart! It CAN be done; I did it. So can you. Firstly, post roll every damn day. There have been many times where that roll post was all that saved me from caving. Secondly, learn how addiction works. The average crave is over and done in three minutes, no shit. Surely you can suck it up and bear it for three minutes, right? Sure you can - we all can! Thirdly, don't ever think you can have 'just one' - NOPE! It's a drug addiction, not a bad habit. There is NEVER just one! As for my future here, I'm going to stick around for as long as the board will have me. I'm also going to go into the new groups and start working with newer quitters, now that I have what it takes to sustain a good quit. I hope you'll join me.
  3. 5 points
    I want to use my Hall of Fame speech to tell you a little bit about my addiction, about my decision to quit, how I quit, and what I might have done differently if I had to do it over again. I will be sprinkling in quotes from other Hall of Famers throughout my speech (in italics) as a way of honoring those who blazed the trail for me. But first I do want to do a short dedication and say thank you to those on QSSN who helped me down the trail. This 100 days quit is dedicated to Dr. Coleman J. Spector, DDS who is my oral surgeon. Yes my trip to go See The Spector changed my life and probably saved my life. I want to thank my quit bro BLG who is the other half of the Angry Quitters – Sick of Slavery team. Having someone like you to call, text or message has been a huge reason why I made it through some of the tougher days. Thanks Brother!! I also want to thank the many supporters that have joined us for roll call these past 100 days. They are: MacDanders, Duf, Chill, MCO, Mongrel, Dodowah, Lucky, jayst, Fish, NoMoreBear, ReDo, TR1960, 86Torker, Sweet Tony, Dave444, Rat, NMG, CraigMac, Jmuir, FES, Stockchart, bflem, Jeffrobd, and Johnny. A special extra shout out to Benpitt and Tiger Refuge who not only post support on our roll call almost every day, but who also join me in the Rage Room from time to time. Finally I want to thank a couple of guys quitting solely on the Facebook QSSN page who regularly message support. Keep up the good work Ben and Tom! My Life as a Dipper The days of dipping in high school seemed so carefree and harmless. I would only have a couple of small dips per day when I was studying or trying to cut weight for wrestling, dip was under a buck per can, and a can would last a week. It was easy to sign that first contract in pencil with my new friend dip. College life brought more freedom, tougher coursework, and a lot of beer drinking. My friend dip wanted to renegotiate its contract with me. This new contract had to be signed in ink and demanded five of six small dips per day, many cans per week, and it had some fine print I never read. When I got my first “big boy” job, dip was right there to congratulate me, but of course a renegotiation of our contract was also requested. This time, dip was asking for larger more frequent dips and for a can a day commitment. Since I now had a real job, dip argued that I could afford it. There was also a lot of new fine print in the contract that was so small that I could not read it. Dip said not to worry about the fine print, and oh by the way this new contract had to be signed in blood. Yea you guessed it. I signed the damn contract. I had pretty much sold my soul. Tobacco is the false friend who stabbed you in the back, robbed you, beat you, raped you, and left you for dead in a gutter on an unfamiliar street, in a country who's [sic] language you don't even speak. – JR January 8.2002 I hear a lot of the guys on this site describe themselves as ninja dippers (either they dipped when no one else was around or they were so discreet about it that no one knew they are dipping). For at least the last ten years of my 30+ years of dipping I have been the complete opposite of a ninja dipper, I was the 1/5 of a can of Timberwolf in my mouth for 15+ hours a day dipper. I dipped loud and proud and I dipped anywhere and everywhere. Not that I was ever rude about, but if other people didn’t like that I was dipping, then that was just tough shit, because nothing was coming between me and my dip (I was such an addicted asshole). It’s so freaking sad that in half the photos that were ever taken of me (unless they gave me warning) I look like Bubba from Forest Gump or one the Yanomami tribe (Google it or see the photo in the Rage Room). For the last several years of my addiction it was so bad that the only times during any given day that I did not have dip in my mouth were; meals, exercise and sex. And the sad part is that I rushed through all three of those things, just so I could put that poison crap back in my mouth as soon as possible (pathetic addict). I could write volumes regaling stories of how pathetically addicted I was and how sometimes my compulsion to dip would own me, but one story says it all. There were six of us out for a business dinner at best steakhouse in Louisville. An agent I work with was buying the dinner and our mutual client was buying the wine – so I was being treated. The appetizers were wonderful, and then the $55 steaks arrived cooked to perfection. One of the clients is an oenophile and is treating us to $250 bottles of wine. When the meal ended I was stuffed with delicious food and amazing wine and jonesing for a dip. But some folks wanted coffee, so we had to stay at the table a while longer. And oh yes I did. This pathetic dipper loads up his lip (good three finger pinch) right at the table and then takes one of the empty bottles of wine from the table to use as my oversize spitter. As an addict I had hit rock freaking bottom. Deciding to Quit Quit now or quit at the urging of your oral surgeon. I did it the latter, you be smart and do the former. – JR April 17, 2002 I had been having some mouth issues for a while so my regular dentist sent me to an oral surgeon. It was a Thursday afternoon when I went to go See The Spector (Dr. Spector DDS – Oral Surgeon). My blood pressure is off the chart because I am so nervous. With a mirror in my hand and a bright light in the hand of The Spector, we began to examine my mouth together. Neither of us liked what we were seeing. Occasionally he would take the light out of my mouth and it would shine in the mirror that I was holding, and kind of blind me. The blinding light in the mirror had an eerie look, as it kinda looked like the light at the end of a tunnel. This light was not a ray of hope. Nope, it was an oncoming train. A speeding train of tooth loss and gum grafts at the very best and at the worse - squamous cell carcinoma. I left Spector’s office in shock and headed for some time in the barber chair. Normally I would have a quick dip as I walked the 5 blocks to the barber, but on this day the can remained in my pocket. I grabbed a lollipop at the barbers, and as I sat in the chair getting clipped sucking on that lollipop, I made the decision quit dipping. When I left the barber, I went across the street to Walgreens and bought a big bag of lollipops and two boxes of nicotine gum. I went home and looked in the mirror. I was getting older and my gums were in bad shape, but at least my hair looked good (hehe). It was then that I gave myself the lecture of my life and the law was laid down. I said fine, if you need nicotine that badly, then I give you permission to be addicted to nicotine gum for the rest of your life. But you will never ever ever put tobacco in your mouth again. Do you hear me you selfish self-destructive addict? Yes, I heard myself loud and clear and Day 1 was born. Someday, you will regret not quitting. Don't pass up that golden moment, when you are ready to quit… – olywa mike March 18, 2002 So I had my lollipops and nic gum, but I had no idea what the hell I was doing or what I was in for. I knew I needed help, and fast. I had found a couple of other sites on the internet geared for people trying to quit smokeless tobacco, and started reading some articles and posts. It’s weird how constantly reading what others went through in quitting helped me get through the first couple of days. I did come to realize that my use of NRT was against the “rules” of these other quit sites and I was not welcome in their quit groups or chat areas. Thank God I went back to my search results and found QSSN. It was exactly what I needed, and I joined my quit group on the 4th day of my quit. My use of NRT I am not an advocate for NRT and I don’t necessarily recommend its use as a quit aid. That being said I am unapologetic about using for the first part of my quit. My goal was to quit using tobacco – PERIOD!!! I was up front about my NRT use with my quit brother, but other than that I never really brought it up. I think everyone is a little different in the way they want to approach their quit, and I will support the cold turkey quitters and those wearing a patch on their arms with equal enthusiasm. Do I think NRT helped me? I’m not really sure. Maybe for the first week or so, but in general I found nic gum to be quite unsatisfying. Right after my second week of using the gum, I just found that I wanted it less and less. Quite by accident, I missed having a piece in the morning one day, so I had my first piece of the day in the afternoon. The same thing happened the next day. The third day of that week my first piece of nic gum was after the evening meal. The forth day I made it almost until bed time. On day 22 of my quit I just stopped using nic gum altogether. However, whatever it takes to quit you should be willing to do. Beat this addiction FIRST, then worry about gum, patches, fake dip, etc. As long as there is no snuff in your mouth, you will be on the road to beating the addiction. No one here thinks any less of you if you use quit aids, and there are no special prizes for quitters that went cold turkey. 100 days is 100 days. Just quit. – Trying July 15, 2002 What I Would Have Done Differently Timing: Timing is everything, and my timing for quitting dip sucked big time. Yes I decided to quit dip as a spur-of-the-moment decision two days after my father’ funeral. Yep I buried my dad, and decided to give up a 35-year habit two days later. Not a wise choice, as I had no idea the grief that I was feeling over the loss of my dad could be eclipsed tenfold by the grief of the loss of my “best friend” (dip) (see below for more on grief). My second error in timing was launching my quit on December 1st as the stressful holiday season was approaching and the days were the shortest - bringing on the seasonal depression. I weaned myself off of NRT on the 22nd of December so I timed a perfect nic withdrawal right at Christmas with the families. OH YEA, then I messed it up even more by planning a dream vacation to Easter Island with my significant other in mid January. Nothing like going halfway around the world to one of the most beautiful places on earth just to be an angry irritable son of a bitch (sorry mom). I know that timing is often used as an excuse not to quit (i.e. things are just too hectic for me to quit right now). However, one should be conscious that making too many major life changes at one time is not a good idea either. Advanced Preparation: Preparation is key!!! My quit was pretty much: FIRE, Ready, Aim. I liked dipping (or at least my addiction led me to believe I did) so had never really wanted to quit before. Sure maybe I thought that I should quit, but I had never made any steps towards actually quitting since I really did not want to quit. So here it is a Thursday afternoon and for the first time in my life the “brass ring of quitness” comes into view and it’s within my reach. I grab that brass ring and pull with all my might, and I have done it – I have quit dip. Great, I have quit, so now what do I do? I have no idea. Wish I would have read Bluesman’s articIe before I pulled the trigger. You must be willing to do literally ANYTHING to free your mind! In my case, the "do anything" approach has meant using herbal chews, chewing gum, hard candies, Altoids, prayer, eating snacks, taking walks, drinking water, working out, jogging, leaving work early, changing my routines, drinking more coffee, going to church in the middle of the day, and spending hours reading and posting on this website. If you need nicotine supplements (gum or patch) or an anti-depressant prescription, then go get them, right now. In fact, have everything ready on Day -1, so that you have these things ready when you need them. And tell everyone about your decision and your commitment. "Burn every boat," so to speak, so that you cannot break your commitment without embarrassment, without publicly admitting failure, and without swallowing your pride. Make it more difficult to cave that to remain true to your commitment (see "do anything" above). In fact, invest so much time and effort into your commitment that you absolutely HAVE to stick it out. Every step away from a prison cell is a step towards freedom. – Bluesman 2002 Being Prepared for the Grief: I was totally and wholly unprepared for the grief and mourning over the major life change of giving up dip. I was ready for withdrawal symptoms, but the feelings of grief and mourning over the loss of dip were/are so overwhelming that I will post a separate rant about it in the Rage Room. But for right now, I will tell you that only the death of my dog can compare with the emotional pain and sense of loss that I felt with giving up dip. Yes, I grieved immensely for my father, but in reality, dad and I talked a couple of times a month on the phone and saw each other a couple of times a year. My dog was always by my side for 13 years and was my constant companion, and when he died it was like having part of my heart ripped out. Likewise dip was my constant companion for 30 years and was my “best friend” who went everywhere and did everything with me (addiction messes with your mind so much that you think a can of poison is your best friend). When I quit dip, it felt like my best friend had died. I thought I was the only one feeling a sense of mourning and grief over the loss of dip, but I would come to find out that it is way more common with smokeless quitters than one would think. It’s OK to grieve. A major part of our lives (dip) is gone forever (died). We just need to remember that our association with dip had to die, or that we were going to die from our association with dip. The emotional or daily life aspect of dipping was harder for me than any physical symptoms. Hell at one point I felt like I was mourning the death of a friend, literally. What I was really mourning was the fact that I had attached dipping to so many good memories that dipping itself had become my emotional tie in to the past, and THAT'S what was bullshit. – Tiger Refuge May 16, 2013 Being Prepared for How Long the Irritability and Depression Might Last: I must say that I was also totally unprepared for how long it can take for the brain to “heal” itself after years and years of nicotine abuse. I was not prepared for the depression and I was not prepared for the irritability, short temperedness, and rage to continue for so long. It was only by reading so many posts on this site from other quitters and by reading some posts on smoking cessation sites that I began to realize that it could be a very long road to full recovery. Everyone’s quit and everyone’s brain is different. For some, they all good after a couple of months, but for others it can take years to feel close to “normal” again. I suspect that I am one of those people for whom it will take a longer time to fully heal. Just knowing that is half battle. So, I will acknowledge that my brain chemistry is still messed up, I will not set arbitrary timelines for my recovery, and I will keep my chin up and not use any tobacco products One Day at a Time. After a few days of hell, a few months of being a miserable prick and a few years of regular cravings I am finally coming out on the other side. I tell you all, find support, kick it completely and hold on. You will come through it. Do not get caught comparing your quit to others. When at 100 or 200 days people told me they really were not struggling anymore I wanted to punch them in the face. For me, it did not let go quickly, but it is now [at 1,000 days]. I have a dear friend on this site who past 1,000 days is still struggling like I was 200 days ago. I called her yesterday to tell her to have hope. We have lamented to each other so many times “why isn’t this easy yet? I hope the fact I am finally getting there can be an inspiration that hope springs eternal. – Tamado September 2007 Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Regards, Bruce
  4. 4 points
    Fredy, The decision of whether a medication can improve your life is highly individualized and of course is not something that should be taken lightly. You have already done it right and have spoke with a psychiatrist to help you better understand brain chemistry. I was on bupropion (150 mg) a day from about day 100 of my quit to about day 400. I was reluctant at first to go on meds. You know all the reasons most people don't seek mental health treatment: was a sign of weakness, was cheating on not toughing out my quit, had a stigma of "needing meds", etc. Points to consider. 1. We fucked up our dopamine receptors badly by being hopped up on nicotine for years and years. Everyone's brain heals at a different rate. Mine took a damn long time and I am not sure it is fully healed yet. I know my brain was constantly crying out for a dopamine "tickle" after I quit. All I wanted to do since I could not have tobacco was to do thrill seeking activities, eat dark chocolate, have orgasms, and do strenuous exercise, as these all give that dopamine tickle to the brain. But it was sill not enough. Bupropion (Welbutrin) can be highly effective (and was for me) in lessening the feeling the something was "missing" from my brain chemistry. 2. I do have other family members who are on bupropion for mental health reasons, and were never tobacco users. Chemical imbalances in the brain often tend to be inherited or have an genetic component. It is possible for some of us that we had a pretty significant chemical imbalance with our brains from the start. I know I was told I had ADD/HD at a young age and was always seeking out dangerous stuff to do. Then I found tobacco. I was self medicating. But I was self medicating with a poison plant that was going to cost me half of my jaw someday. Much much better to treat a chemical imbalance with real pharmaceuticals under the eye of a MD than it is to shove poison tobacco in one's mouth. 3. No pill or med will be a magic bullet that will making quitting and staying quit "easy". Quitting and staying quit is hard work and always will be. You will still need to do everything you have been doing to stay quit and double down on your focus not to use tobacco. While bupropion can help your brain not want the dopamine tickle that nic provided, it CANNOT help with the mental association we placed with dip and life activities (driving, fishing, yard work, etc.). Breaking that association that dip was my "friend" that was always there with me, is what you will need to keep focused on, even if you do take bupropion. Just a reminder that dip is not a friend, it never was. It's just a can of ground up poison leaves. I hope my ramblings will help you and others. Remember I was a "scorched earth" quitter. I was going to do anything and everything to stay quit. Yea, I was on bupropion for about a year. It was just another tool in my arsenal to keep quit. I wish you luck with your decision.
  5. 4 points
    It's Day 2 and I'm blown away by how crummy I feel and how I got here. Let's just say that I have no "happy place" right now. It would seem that 32 years ago, when I was working shoveling horse pooh at a local barn, that little pitch of "hey try this kid," wouldn't still be haunting me. I was only 11, but it was the cool thing to do down at the stables. Then I decided to buy some off the other kids hanging around the stable. Apple brick it was. Pretty lousy stuff, but man did I look cool. I started buying it at Revco with my pooh shoveling cash. They and UST were very happy with my money. Hawken was next, then Skoal, and then I became the coolest kid when I switched over to Cope while at church camp (kinda funny). Man what a great buzz Cope delivered. The hooks were so deep now, but I didn't care because I didn't know that I was truly hooked! Well now I care and have cared over and over, but I've committed to myself this time vs others. I committed that this stupid little can will not dictate me anymore. I will stop at any corner store now (not just the one that always has the best date), I will not apologize to my two sons for "eating dirt" as we call it, I will not freak out if I finish my can before I go to sleep, I will not carry empty cans through security check-in so I can be secretive when I dip on the plane, I will not care if I have that window seat which helps hide it, I will not have to sneak away at my in-laws house, I will not have to do all if this and other stupid behaviors ever again....... I will not give up! The tobacco companies owe all of us an apology and some big fat checks. 365 days x 32 years x 1.5 cans per day average x $5ish average over the years = about $90,000 without adding interest, add on the dental work, commanded behavior, health risks, and how hacked off this makes me. These guys knew that hooking us as kids was a win for them and a huge loss for us. I'm really mad at them and at me for not being tough enough to beat that nicotine knife. The only good thing right now is that I feel better about myself and know my boys can tell how bad this stuff is. I doubt they will ever try nicotine and I pray they don't. Man a dip would be great right about now........ It ain't gonna happen though!
  6. 3 points
    Pioneer Quitters  Thursday June 14, 2018 QUESTION OF THE DAY: Would you tell your kids there’s no Santa or wait for them to figure it out on their own? FoodBuzz -168- I let them figure it out on their own, but it’s a bit rough with a double aha moment; 1) Santa isn’t real and 2) I’ve been lying to them this whole time. Yet I can’t stand to tell them and I let the innocent lie go on for as possible. NDT! Hoggle - 110 - I don't have kids, but if I did, I'd make it clear that Santa is just pretend. Later, I'd explain that Santa is a metaphor for human generosity Dillhole 94 NDT - I can't remember. I think we told them after they suspected something was up when they found Santa on top of there mother under the tree one Christmas eve
  7. 3 points
    I’ve been around long enough to see what works and what doesn’t. What increases your chance at staying quit and what doesn’t. The bottom line is, your posting roll call is a layer of accountability. The more effort and commitment you put into that roll posting, the more “accountable” you become. If you are lackadaisical in roll posting, it will show up in your quit at some point. I can guaranfuckingtee it. If you take this shit seriously, then your chances of succeeding will rise. That goes for everyone. There are LAYERS of accountability here. They are tried and true. Posting roll call is one layer. Texting a fellow quitter is one layer. Supporting other quitters is one layer. They add up. Trust me. I had a 4+ year quitter text me today and say that he was struggling. It was a reminder to me that we all have struggles. No, not everyday anymore. But it will always be there in my brain.
  8. 3 points
    12 years ago I went tobacco-free. While I used nicotine gum for another 3 months, this is still an important milestone for me, especially since I was nicotine-free for 44 days before finding this forum.
  9. 3 points
    Pioneer Quitters  Monday, March 21, 2018 QUESTION OF THE DAY: What do you strongly suspect, but have no proof of?  Hoggle - 86 - I strongly suspect that the government knew about 9/11 before it happened, and chose to let it happen in order to get the USA involved in the War On Terror, and to pass the USA PATRIOT act. DH 70 NDT - Hillary Clinton is a man Support: STS - 537: I strongly suspect that P.T. Barnum was correct about what people would believe. I believe that I am quit today. Oh yea, Fuck Tobacco
  10. 3 points
    The Quit Kitchen "Cookin up a fresh batch of quit every day"~FUNB
  11. 3 points
    Buffalo New York - Bills, Sabres and St. Louis Cardinals fan (played my first 3 years of little league baseball for the Cardinals, been a fan ever since) I decided to quit this time because all the reasons to do so were driving me nuts. Every time I put a dip in i thought about why i shouldn't be doing this. One of the biggest if not THE BIGGEST was it prevented me from doing other things. It's weird but we think dip helps us concentrate or accomplish things. It may be true in the very short term, but what I found was I was so concerned with getting dip, when to dip, where to dip, how dip is affecting me, how much it's costing, getting cancer, receding gums etc., that it was actually hindering me from doing or accomplishing things. Dipping and thinking about why I shouldn't be dipping was taking up a stupid amount of my time and thoughts and it had to stop. It's only been 50 days for me, but I feel like I have a monkey off my back and have a new found freedom for accomplishments and getting things done.
  12. 3 points
    Thanks FoodBuzz, looking forward to being past 100 days as a spring board to living the balance of my life without feeding my nicotine addiction. Funny talking about the c-store, for me it was pretty much just the chew store. I buy gas now but rarely ever go inside. I always have cash on me too, the same cash. My wife keeps getting me cash when she goes to the bank and I add it to my wallet and sitting lopsided shows me how much $$$ I was wasting on that crap. Will be in the mountains turkey hunting on day 100 with one of my boys, but will post when I get some cell service. NDT! ODAAT! = FREEDOM!
  13. 3 points
    Redhawk, I’m overall a pretty easy going guy, but have learned that irritability is a side effect of quitting. I’ve had some bad moments where my wife wanted to help me do things around the house or give me a pass and to go take a break. She saw I was getting irritable but “I’m fine and I don’t need special treatment, so quit acting like my mom!!!” And similar like phrases (some much heavier). I dug my heels in and my cranky hat on to my wife and family too. Ive learned that pausing and taking a breath to reflect that those I love are really just trying to be nice. In my wife’s defense, one day when I told her I was fine and was very capable of taking care of myself was about a half hour after she noticed I put the kids Nesquick into my coffee and the milk jug into the freezer. Dont get hard on yourself, it happens. Take a pause and breath then come in here and blow your lid if you need to. We can be the punching bag!! cheers to quit! FB
  14. 3 points
    April 7th, 2018 Total MAD since 3/23/18 61.1 Weight: 147 Total Lost 50 and change since August 2017 Was cycling since October 2017 up until early March when I ran my bike into the ground. I was doing 25 to 28 miles per day split up before work and after towards the end. Started running right after but did not keep records until 3/23. Big race planned in Feb of 2019 but will find some smaller ones to build up to it.
  15. 3 points
    Very nice to see! A full list of XdipshitZ quitters posting roll! Super great day to see the support. Sitting in an airport with delayed flights, my jaw is tired of chewing gum. So glad to see this core group still hating chew!!! Thank You All!!! Cheers to quit! FB
  16. 3 points
    5400+ days quit. 15 years into a quit that I never thought would ever begin. QuitSmokeless.org saved mine and many other lives. Simple: you quit, you post, you succeed. That was my path. Not everyone follows that same path, that is why I keep coming back here. Success is possible and the first step is putting down the can. I found this site 2 days after i put the can down. Sweat was running down my forehead and I was ready to cave. I typed into Yahoo, "help quitting smokeless tobacco" and my cry for help was answered with Matt Van Wycks website and life saving buoy. To those out there struggling, trying to quit....i was in your shoes..as difficult as it may seem, it is simple in execution: Dont dip. Wake up. Dont dip. Repeat for 5400 days. Good luck fellow quitters!

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