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  1. 13 points
    Kicking Back Flashback to February 2010: Went out for a late dinner with my wife. Woke up in the middle of the night because I had to relieve my bladder. Did so quickly because I wanted to get back to sleep before my mind kicked in. After doing so, while walking from the bathroom back to bed, I started to feel dizzy and saw darkness closing around me. Next thing I knew I was on the floor, coming to, while my wife was next to me, yelling my name. My wife said she was calling an ambulance. I told her she didn’t have to do that. I said I was OK, that it was just a freak accident from getting out of bed so fast and trying to force myself to take a leak quickly. She insisted on calling an ambulance and I kept insisting no. We compromised by me promising that I would make an appointment with the doctor come Monday morning. At the doctor’s appointment, while getting checked out, I’m explaining what happened when I passed out. The doctor removes the stethoscope from his ears and asks “Do you smoke?” I said “No” with a little self-righteous pride. The doctor then asks “Do you chew tobacco?” I thought it odd that he pinned down that question so fast. I hemmed and hawed, forcing myself to utter a barely audible “Yes.” The doctor asks “How long have you been chewing tobacco?” I glance at my wife before looking back at the doctor before answering. “Thirty years,” I whisper. I hear my wife gasp with surprise. It was like admitting to an affair that went on behind her back for that long. The doctor then starts to go on in great detail how chewing tobacco is detrimental to the vascular system and how I have an increased likelihood to have a heart attack or stroke, and that it probably had ‘something’ to do with me hitting the deck. The doctor then asks if I want to quit. I look at my wife again. She doesn’t even look back. I say “Yeah…one of these days.” The doctor discusses quitting options, wants to know if I would like to try any of the prescription methods that he runs through. I tell the doctor I would rather quit by going cold turkey. He asked me how I plan on doing that and I said I would commit to looking in to it. The doctor set up an appointment for a month later, when we could see how things have improved after I had quit. I never followed up on that appointment. I blew off my doctor. Flashback to April 2010: After a couple of months of my wife pestering me every other day, I flushed my can. "I have to do this," I thought. After one day I was crawling out of my skin. I was seconds away from leaving work and driving to the nearest C-Store and basking in the glory of a fresh dip after a long crave when I typed ‘quit dip’ into the google search box. I remember reading Bluesman’s ‘Secret of Our Success,’ and dozens of other Hall of Fame speeches. I could relate to every word. Everything written resonated deeply with where I was in life, and with my tobacco addiction. I wanted to have that freedom and ‘success’ that all those HOF writers were describing. I had tried many times and could not make it stick. I knew this addiction was ruining my health. I knew my relationships with loved ones had deteriorated. I knew my professional life stagnated. I knew my social life suffered. I was addicted to smokeless tobacco and I felt deep shame in that. I did not want anyone to know I dipped and went to great lengths to keep it secret. I also set up my life to ensure I had continual unfettered access to my dirty secret and was not going to let anything interfere. I was astonished to find that nearly all the quitters here felt the same. In the outside world, everyone treated me like I was some sort of weak freak for not giving up such a filthy habit years before, let alone how I could even start such a disgusting habit in the first place. Reading those HOF speeches on that day in April 2010 gave me a spark of hope that someone could understand how much I loved the stuff, how shameful it was for me, and how hard it was to quit. There was, however, proof here that I could quit. I posted roll call and did so religiously for about 200 days. However, around day 300, I gladly decided to march into the store to buy a can, and then stuff my lip. I continued to do so for another six years. I just buried my head in six feet of denial and ignored everything. Screw everyone and everything, I thought. In retrospect, there were warning signs that I wouldn’t make it that go-around: 1) I was not 100% quitting for myself. I mean, I was…and I wasn’t. I wanted good health. I wanted to improve the quality of my relationships. I wanted freedom from anxiety. I wanted people to pat me on the back. I wanted recognition. I wanted to have the success that comes with quitting—the things everybody else talked about—increased fitness, better health, better relationships, more time for interesting hobbies, and more energy to focus on professional endeavors. When those things did not happen fast enough—or not at all. I figured “What’s the use?” It is clear now that I put conditions on my quit. The conditions became more important than the quit. When the conditions weren’t met, I considered my quit a failure. I set myself up. 2) I wanted the symptoms of quitting to go away on MY timeline. The big thing here is the fog. After six months of being quit, I thought the fog was a permanent thing. I could not focus. I could no longer think a coherent thought. I could no longer write anything longer than a badly written sentence. Depression was another significant symptom that crept into my life for the first time after I quit. I thought the depression was a result of quitting and that it was permanent. I concluded that I would rather be dipping than be depressed. Some medications have benefits that outweigh the drawbacks. I diagnosed myself and wrote my own prescription. Small wonder I chose smokeless tobacco to fill the bill. 3) My activity on this site started to dwindle after about day 200 and became just about non-existent soon thereafter. I quit posting roll call. I quit reaching out, or whenever anyone reached out to me, I ignored them. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of being accountable. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of quitting, and I did not want anyone else in my business. I had better things to do. 4) Quitting stopped being my #1 priority, if it ever was. It was more like I was trying to fake it before I made it. Faking it began to feel too untrue. It is easy to go astray, but when you are in the middle of it, you do not even notice---everything seems normal until you turn around in circles, lost, alone, and bewildered, asking yourself “Where the hell am I and how did I get HERE?” This website answers those questions, and offers a path out. The path you choose is up to you. Dip wasn’t going to ever make anything better or solve any of my problems. I erroneously believed dip did for me what I would not or could not do for myself. No wonder I became so attached to it. After an additional six years of dip addiction, I came to realize that smokeless tobacco would never work its magic again. It was an erroneous premise to begin with. Quitting doesn't magically solve all my problems either. Just one of them. The rest is up to me. Fast Forward: March 8, 2017 – Today One year Quit. Here’s how I’ve done it: Don’t dip, no matter what. Post roll call every day. Give my word I will not dip today. Reach out personally to other quitters. Offer support to other quit groups. Ask for help. Don’t dip, no matter what. Repeat. Another important thing I’ve done is this: I have established a separate realm for my quit, beyond my personal life; whereby personal issues have no say in the quit matter. I am first and foremost quit today. Everything else is gravy. When I first arrived here, it was my hope to one day offer one hell of an inspirational story---to say I’ve done a triathlon, lost all the weight I need to take off, built my own company, traveled the world, climbed Mt. Everest, wrote the next great American novel, etc., all because I don’t dip anymore. Because I’ve done none of the above, I considered myself unworthy to say anything on the subject of successful quitting. Nonetheless, I have survived a tough run, and I’ve done so without dip for the past year. As I alluded to above, success doesn’t always revolve around my timeline. Also, I must re-consider my erroneous-egocentric-addict’s mind. Success comes in many different shapes and forms. 100 days... 365 days quit are major accomplishments in and by themselves. I’ll take it. I deserve to be here for those reasons alone. I would like to thank those who have supported me and listened to me whine and complain at times. I would also like to thank those who have left their words of wisdom and trials and tribulations in this space. All I can do is pay your service forward the best I can. Thirdly, I would also like to thank our patron and donors for giving us a place to do what was once impossible. And lastly: thank you, new quitters, for reminding me that dip is still out there kicking ass. Today I’m kicking back.
  2. 4 points
    I want to use my Hall of Fame speech to tell you a little bit about my addiction, about my decision to quit, how I quit, and what I might have done differently if I had to do it over again. I will be sprinkling in quotes from other Hall of Famers throughout my speech (in italics) as a way of honoring those who blazed the trail for me. But first I do want to do a short dedication and say thank you to those on QSSN who helped me down the trail. This 100 days quit is dedicated to Dr. Coleman J. Spector, DDS who is my oral surgeon. Yes my trip to go See The Spector changed my life and probably saved my life. I want to thank my quit bro BLG who is the other half of the Angry Quitters – Sick of Slavery team. Having someone like you to call, text or message has been a huge reason why I made it through some of the tougher days. Thanks Brother!! I also want to thank the many supporters that have joined us for roll call these past 100 days. They are: MacDanders, Duf, Chill, MCO, Mongrel, Dodowah, Lucky, jayst, Fish, NoMoreBear, ReDo, TR1960, 86Torker, Sweet Tony, Dave444, Rat, NMG, CraigMac, Jmuir, FES, Stockchart, bflem, Jeffrobd, and Johnny. A special extra shout out to Benpitt and Tiger Refuge who not only post support on our roll call almost every day, but who also join me in the Rage Room from time to time. Finally I want to thank a couple of guys quitting solely on the Facebook QSSN page who regularly message support. Keep up the good work Ben and Tom! My Life as a Dipper The days of dipping in high school seemed so carefree and harmless. I would only have a couple of small dips per day when I was studying or trying to cut weight for wrestling, dip was under a buck per can, and a can would last a week. It was easy to sign that first contract in pencil with my new friend dip. College life brought more freedom, tougher coursework, and a lot of beer drinking. My friend dip wanted to renegotiate its contract with me. This new contract had to be signed in ink and demanded five of six small dips per day, many cans per week, and it had some fine print I never read. When I got my first “big boy” job, dip was right there to congratulate me, but of course a renegotiation of our contract was also requested. This time, dip was asking for larger more frequent dips and for a can a day commitment. Since I now had a real job, dip argued that I could afford it. There was also a lot of new fine print in the contract that was so small that I could not read it. Dip said not to worry about the fine print, and oh by the way this new contract had to be signed in blood. Yea you guessed it. I signed the damn contract. I had pretty much sold my soul. Tobacco is the false friend who stabbed you in the back, robbed you, beat you, raped you, and left you for dead in a gutter on an unfamiliar street, in a country who's [sic] language you don't even speak. – JR January 8.2002 I hear a lot of the guys on this site describe themselves as ninja dippers (either they dipped when no one else was around or they were so discreet about it that no one knew they are dipping). For at least the last ten years of my 30+ years of dipping I have been the complete opposite of a ninja dipper, I was the 1/5 of a can of Timberwolf in my mouth for 15+ hours a day dipper. I dipped loud and proud and I dipped anywhere and everywhere. Not that I was ever rude about, but if other people didn’t like that I was dipping, then that was just tough shit, because nothing was coming between me and my dip (I was such an addicted asshole). It’s so freaking sad that in half the photos that were ever taken of me (unless they gave me warning) I look like Bubba from Forest Gump or one the Yanomami tribe (Google it or see the photo in the Rage Room). For the last several years of my addiction it was so bad that the only times during any given day that I did not have dip in my mouth were; meals, exercise and sex. And the sad part is that I rushed through all three of those things, just so I could put that poison crap back in my mouth as soon as possible (pathetic addict). I could write volumes regaling stories of how pathetically addicted I was and how sometimes my compulsion to dip would own me, but one story says it all. There were six of us out for a business dinner at best steakhouse in Louisville. An agent I work with was buying the dinner and our mutual client was buying the wine – so I was being treated. The appetizers were wonderful, and then the $55 steaks arrived cooked to perfection. One of the clients is an oenophile and is treating us to $250 bottles of wine. When the meal ended I was stuffed with delicious food and amazing wine and jonesing for a dip. But some folks wanted coffee, so we had to stay at the table a while longer. And oh yes I did. This pathetic dipper loads up his lip (good three finger pinch) right at the table and then takes one of the empty bottles of wine from the table to use as my oversize spitter. As an addict I had hit rock freaking bottom. Deciding to Quit Quit now or quit at the urging of your oral surgeon. I did it the latter, you be smart and do the former. – JR April 17, 2002 I had been having some mouth issues for a while so my regular dentist sent me to an oral surgeon. It was a Thursday afternoon when I went to go See The Spector (Dr. Spector DDS – Oral Surgeon). My blood pressure is off the chart because I am so nervous. With a mirror in my hand and a bright light in the hand of The Spector, we began to examine my mouth together. Neither of us liked what we were seeing. Occasionally he would take the light out of my mouth and it would shine in the mirror that I was holding, and kind of blind me. The blinding light in the mirror had an eerie look, as it kinda looked like the light at the end of a tunnel. This light was not a ray of hope. Nope, it was an oncoming train. A speeding train of tooth loss and gum grafts at the very best and at the worse - squamous cell carcinoma. I left Spector’s office in shock and headed for some time in the barber chair. Normally I would have a quick dip as I walked the 5 blocks to the barber, but on this day the can remained in my pocket. I grabbed a lollipop at the barbers, and as I sat in the chair getting clipped sucking on that lollipop, I made the decision quit dipping. When I left the barber, I went across the street to Walgreens and bought a big bag of lollipops and two boxes of nicotine gum. I went home and looked in the mirror. I was getting older and my gums were in bad shape, but at least my hair looked good (hehe). It was then that I gave myself the lecture of my life and the law was laid down. I said fine, if you need nicotine that badly, then I give you permission to be addicted to nicotine gum for the rest of your life. But you will never ever ever put tobacco in your mouth again. Do you hear me you selfish self-destructive addict? Yes, I heard myself loud and clear and Day 1 was born. Someday, you will regret not quitting. Don't pass up that golden moment, when you are ready to quit… – olywa mike March 18, 2002 So I had my lollipops and nic gum, but I had no idea what the hell I was doing or what I was in for. I knew I needed help, and fast. I had found a couple of other sites on the internet geared for people trying to quit smokeless tobacco, and started reading some articles and posts. It’s weird how constantly reading what others went through in quitting helped me get through the first couple of days. I did come to realize that my use of NRT was against the “rules” of these other quit sites and I was not welcome in their quit groups or chat areas. Thank God I went back to my search results and found QSSN. It was exactly what I needed, and I joined my quit group on the 4th day of my quit. My use of NRT I am not an advocate for NRT and I don’t necessarily recommend its use as a quit aid. That being said I am unapologetic about using for the first part of my quit. My goal was to quit using tobacco – PERIOD!!! I was up front about my NRT use with my quit brother, but other than that I never really brought it up. I think everyone is a little different in the way they want to approach their quit, and I will support the cold turkey quitters and those wearing a patch on their arms with equal enthusiasm. Do I think NRT helped me? I’m not really sure. Maybe for the first week or so, but in general I found nic gum to be quite unsatisfying. Right after my second week of using the gum, I just found that I wanted it less and less. Quite by accident, I missed having a piece in the morning one day, so I had my first piece of the day in the afternoon. The same thing happened the next day. The third day of that week my first piece of nic gum was after the evening meal. The forth day I made it almost until bed time. On day 22 of my quit I just stopped using nic gum altogether. However, whatever it takes to quit you should be willing to do. Beat this addiction FIRST, then worry about gum, patches, fake dip, etc. As long as there is no snuff in your mouth, you will be on the road to beating the addiction. No one here thinks any less of you if you use quit aids, and there are no special prizes for quitters that went cold turkey. 100 days is 100 days. Just quit. – Trying July 15, 2002 What I Would Have Done Differently Timing: Timing is everything, and my timing for quitting dip sucked big time. Yes I decided to quit dip as a spur-of-the-moment decision two days after my father’ funeral. Yep I buried my dad, and decided to give up a 35-year habit two days later. Not a wise choice, as I had no idea the grief that I was feeling over the loss of my dad could be eclipsed tenfold by the grief of the loss of my “best friend” (dip) (see below for more on grief). My second error in timing was launching my quit on December 1st as the stressful holiday season was approaching and the days were the shortest - bringing on the seasonal depression. I weaned myself off of NRT on the 22nd of December so I timed a perfect nic withdrawal right at Christmas with the families. OH YEA, then I messed it up even more by planning a dream vacation to Easter Island with my significant other in mid January. Nothing like going halfway around the world to one of the most beautiful places on earth just to be an angry irritable son of a bitch (sorry mom). I know that timing is often used as an excuse not to quit (i.e. things are just too hectic for me to quit right now). However, one should be conscious that making too many major life changes at one time is not a good idea either. Advanced Preparation: Preparation is key!!! My quit was pretty much: FIRE, Ready, Aim. I liked dipping (or at least my addiction led me to believe I did) so had never really wanted to quit before. Sure maybe I thought that I should quit, but I had never made any steps towards actually quitting since I really did not want to quit. So here it is a Thursday afternoon and for the first time in my life the “brass ring of quitness” comes into view and it’s within my reach. I grab that brass ring and pull with all my might, and I have done it – I have quit dip. Great, I have quit, so now what do I do? I have no idea. Wish I would have read Bluesman’s articIe before I pulled the trigger. You must be willing to do literally ANYTHING to free your mind! In my case, the "do anything" approach has meant using herbal chews, chewing gum, hard candies, Altoids, prayer, eating snacks, taking walks, drinking water, working out, jogging, leaving work early, changing my routines, drinking more coffee, going to church in the middle of the day, and spending hours reading and posting on this website. If you need nicotine supplements (gum or patch) or an anti-depressant prescription, then go get them, right now. In fact, have everything ready on Day -1, so that you have these things ready when you need them. And tell everyone about your decision and your commitment. "Burn every boat," so to speak, so that you cannot break your commitment without embarrassment, without publicly admitting failure, and without swallowing your pride. Make it more difficult to cave that to remain true to your commitment (see "do anything" above). In fact, invest so much time and effort into your commitment that you absolutely HAVE to stick it out. Every step away from a prison cell is a step towards freedom. – Bluesman 2002 Being Prepared for the Grief: I was totally and wholly unprepared for the grief and mourning over the major life change of giving up dip. I was ready for withdrawal symptoms, but the feelings of grief and mourning over the loss of dip were/are so overwhelming that I will post a separate rant about it in the Rage Room. But for right now, I will tell you that only the death of my dog can compare with the emotional pain and sense of loss that I felt with giving up dip. Yes, I grieved immensely for my father, but in reality, dad and I talked a couple of times a month on the phone and saw each other a couple of times a year. My dog was always by my side for 13 years and was my constant companion, and when he died it was like having part of my heart ripped out. Likewise dip was my constant companion for 30 years and was my “best friend” who went everywhere and did everything with me (addiction messes with your mind so much that you think a can of poison is your best friend). When I quit dip, it felt like my best friend had died. I thought I was the only one feeling a sense of mourning and grief over the loss of dip, but I would come to find out that it is way more common with smokeless quitters than one would think. It’s OK to grieve. A major part of our lives (dip) is gone forever (died). We just need to remember that our association with dip had to die, or that we were going to die from our association with dip. The emotional or daily life aspect of dipping was harder for me than any physical symptoms. Hell at one point I felt like I was mourning the death of a friend, literally. What I was really mourning was the fact that I had attached dipping to so many good memories that dipping itself had become my emotional tie in to the past, and THAT'S what was bullshit. – Tiger Refuge May 16, 2013 Being Prepared for How Long the Irritability and Depression Might Last: I must say that I was also totally unprepared for how long it can take for the brain to “heal” itself after years and years of nicotine abuse. I was not prepared for the depression and I was not prepared for the irritability, short temperedness, and rage to continue for so long. It was only by reading so many posts on this site from other quitters and by reading some posts on smoking cessation sites that I began to realize that it could be a very long road to full recovery. Everyone’s quit and everyone’s brain is different. For some, they all good after a couple of months, but for others it can take years to feel close to “normal” again. I suspect that I am one of those people for whom it will take a longer time to fully heal. Just knowing that is half battle. So, I will acknowledge that my brain chemistry is still messed up, I will not set arbitrary timelines for my recovery, and I will keep my chin up and not use any tobacco products One Day at a Time. After a few days of hell, a few months of being a miserable prick and a few years of regular cravings I am finally coming out on the other side. I tell you all, find support, kick it completely and hold on. You will come through it. Do not get caught comparing your quit to others. When at 100 or 200 days people told me they really were not struggling anymore I wanted to punch them in the face. For me, it did not let go quickly, but it is now [at 1,000 days]. I have a dear friend on this site who past 1,000 days is still struggling like I was 200 days ago. I called her yesterday to tell her to have hope. We have lamented to each other so many times “why isn’t this easy yet? I hope the fact I am finally getting there can be an inspiration that hope springs eternal. – Tamado September 2007 Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed. Regards, Bruce
  3. 3 points
    Had a dip dream last night - didn't feel guilty, suprisingly. What I did feel was the dread of going through the fist few weeks again - let us not forget the amount of suckage we went through to get freedom.
  4. 3 points
    Tuesday, May 8, 2018 Quitters - sign here: Fredy - 18 am holding my head high NDT with all my buddies ...... Craves remain but less in number and strength .. it definitely needs ODAAT . Phil- 36- Found out yesterday that baby carrots make me absolutely sick to my stomach. That's what I get for trying to be healthy... Couldn't have dipped even if I wanted to, which I didn't, because fuck dip. redhawk - 34 - Fuck dip and the horse it road in on. What are the official days? I think Thursday is Throat-Punch Thursday, Tuesday must be something. NFDT! ODAAT!! Ace - 44 - "because fuck dip". Trash the Tin Tuesday for me. Supporters: PMFJ - 275 - Yo Fredy, still Monday on the West Coast 9:38 PM. Dude, you are doing so well you don't even know it! I'm still dealing with craves, but 33 years of doing the dip will cause that. It's so nice to talk to my wife, kids, and have phone conversations without having to stop and spit before I can speak my next sentence. Hopefully, we'll get to live a little longer and be able to enjoy life a bit more. I have 2 uncles who were crazy smokers for a really long time, one is 79, the other about 75. I'm actually surprised they're still around. For the past 4-5 years, they have been on oxygen 24/7 because of the COPD. They can't travel with their wives and enjoy their golden years; they're stuck at home trying to breathe and relying on their wives for assistance. Suffering because of the NB! Fuck that!! I don't want to put my wife in that kind of position if I can help it. Why should she have to suffer for my stupidity? Feeding tube cuz my esophagus has been removed, or half my face removed, no tongue, no lower lip, cheek reconstruction?? Fuck all that!! That still could happen but I'm hopeful that swishing Cool Mint Listerine 2-3 times a day may have saved me. If I can do this, you can too! Don't fucking look back!! Get pissed and stay quit! NMFD!! steve50-2730- Anyone checking in on the QSSN Facebook page? Quit Smokeless Support Network Another good way to connect. MC- 135. To funny Phil. I recall in college one of my fellow dippers said I had to eat a bag of baby carrots to fight off getting mouth cancer. I had similar reaction, to bad I still found a way to dip. Keep up the great work here gents and great to see your post Ace. If you haven't done so, suggest to trade numbers with your quit group. I made a mistake of not posting for a few days and while I stayed quit, my quit group missed even a simple posting from me on those days. Lesson learned was a simple text to one of my fellow quit brothers asking for them to post for me and I did as well for them. NDT. STS - 524: It will always be Taco Tuesday for me, because who doesn't love tacos. Oh yea, and Fuck Dip!! SplinterCell - 82 - getting my day started off right by posting a promise - NDT! PMFJ - 276 - Double posting! Keep it going July Boys! NMFD!! RWM -427- why stop? Because one dip is too many and 127,750 is not enough. NMB - 3,847 days quit! You guys got this! Keep that shit out of your mouth just one day at a time and next thing you know, it's 10+ years later and you're still going strong!
  5. 3 points
    The Quit Kitchen "Cookin up a fresh batch of quit every day"~FUNB
  6. 3 points
    Bananahammock Quitmasters?
  7. 3 points
    Buffalo New York - Bills, Sabres and St. Louis Cardinals fan (played my first 3 years of little league baseball for the Cardinals, been a fan ever since) I decided to quit this time because all the reasons to do so were driving me nuts. Every time I put a dip in i thought about why i shouldn't be doing this. One of the biggest if not THE BIGGEST was it prevented me from doing other things. It's weird but we think dip helps us concentrate or accomplish things. It may be true in the very short term, but what I found was I was so concerned with getting dip, when to dip, where to dip, how dip is affecting me, how much it's costing, getting cancer, receding gums etc., that it was actually hindering me from doing or accomplishing things. Dipping and thinking about why I shouldn't be dipping was taking up a stupid amount of my time and thoughts and it had to stop. It's only been 50 days for me, but I feel like I have a monkey off my back and have a new found freedom for accomplishments and getting things done.
  8. 3 points
    Thanks FoodBuzz, looking forward to being past 100 days as a spring board to living the balance of my life without feeding my nicotine addiction. Funny talking about the c-store, for me it was pretty much just the chew store. I buy gas now but rarely ever go inside. I always have cash on me too, the same cash. My wife keeps getting me cash when she goes to the bank and I add it to my wallet and sitting lopsided shows me how much $$$ I was wasting on that crap. Will be in the mountains turkey hunting on day 100 with one of my boys, but will post when I get some cell service. NDT! ODAAT! = FREEDOM!
  9. 3 points
    Redhawk, I’m overall a pretty easy going guy, but have learned that irritability is a side effect of quitting. I’ve had some bad moments where my wife wanted to help me do things around the house or give me a pass and to go take a break. She saw I was getting irritable but “I’m fine and I don’t need special treatment, so quit acting like my mom!!!” And similar like phrases (some much heavier). I dug my heels in and my cranky hat on to my wife and family too. Ive learned that pausing and taking a breath to reflect that those I love are really just trying to be nice. In my wife’s defense, one day when I told her I was fine and was very capable of taking care of myself was about a half hour after she noticed I put the kids Nesquick into my coffee and the milk jug into the freezer. Dont get hard on yourself, it happens. Take a pause and breath then come in here and blow your lid if you need to. We can be the punching bag!! cheers to quit! FB
  10. 3 points
    April 7th, 2018 Total MAD since 3/23/18 61.1 Weight: 147 Total Lost 50 and change since August 2017 Was cycling since October 2017 up until early March when I ran my bike into the ground. I was doing 25 to 28 miles per day split up before work and after towards the end. Started running right after but did not keep records until 3/23. Big race planned in Feb of 2019 but will find some smaller ones to build up to it.
  11. 3 points
    Quick story about today. Get up, take the kids to daycare and head to work. Get to work.......I am the only one there. Walked up to the door and yep, it is closed for the day. It is a carryover for Easter weekend. Call the wife, who has a work travel day - she picks me up and we do a 2 hour road trip, I drop her off at work and go shopping. Pick her back up and go to a steak buffet for lunch. All in all, it was a pretty damn good day. Thanks Tank for posting roll for me. Dillhole - I am still finding empty cans from time to time, pisses me off now when I see one.
  12. 3 points
  13. 3 points
    Very nice to see! A full list of XdipshitZ quitters posting roll! Super great day to see the support. Sitting in an airport with delayed flights, my jaw is tired of chewing gum. So glad to see this core group still hating chew!!! Thank You All!!! Cheers to quit! FB
  14. 2 points
    Nut Scratchers Ding Bats July Pigsty Pretty Pink Ponies
  15. 2 points
  16. 2 points
    Confession...guilty as charged. I stopped by the C-store and was dazed looking at the rack of cans. Noticed they have a new flavor of Cope...”Southern Blend”. Weird how just the name drew me in. Had to quickly think how that was just a bad idea. OMG...Paula Deen and Mama June (pre weight loss) popped in my head getting intimate in a Southern Blend fashion. Gotta do what you gotta do to quit I guess. Fuck why couldn’t seeds come up with that first. I’m sure my thoughts would have been much more pleasant! At least it could have been two hot chicks...sure cousins most likely...since it is the south, but I could look beyond that.
  17. 2 points
    If you quit between 03/24/2018 - 04/23/2018 this is your quit group. To join this group all you have to do is quit dipping and post Roll Call How to post roll call (updated!) Get the Contract to Give Up Print it out and carry it in your wallet Click Here for a room to exchange phone numbers. Accountability is key! Tuesday April 10 2018 Quitters - sign here: Phil- 9- Last two nights have finally been good sleep. Thank the lord. Things are returning to normalcy. Redhawk - 6 - None of that dip today. I can imagine the Freedom, but today I will not return to it's rule over me. Ace - 16 - Sleep is good. Playing golf later today, looking forward to doing it dipless. Supporters Dillhole - 29 - NDT - decided to get up early and do 20 min on the elliptical in honor of Phil's quit. I've had no ambition to do anything after work. Gonna try tomorrow morning again. RWM -399- Great job men. Your future self is thanking you for sticking this out. NDT. STS - 496: Some good quits going on in here. Reach out to your quit bothers in here. Support and accountability are crucial. Joining you in proudly say I will not use tobacco today. ODAA PMFJ - 248 - Keep it up guys! NMFD!! bflem-908- NDT with ya'll! keep up the good work. MC - 107. Great work here gents and committed with you. In case you haven't done it yet, suggest you read some of the HOF speeches. I avoided reading the speeches till very recently- mistakenly convincing myself I should earn triple D's before I read them. Big mistake as there is some great advice I wish I would have read instead of learning much harder than I needed to. More importantly, the HOF speeches affirms you WILL be able to make it through this personal hell you are experiencing. NDT!
  18. 2 points
    Just posting this on my way out of the office today, and because I know my drive home and my night will be miserable. I won't stop on my drive home and buy a can. I won't stop on my walk to my car to buy a can.
  19. 2 points
    Friday, March 30, 2018 QUESTION OF THE DAY: Which would you rather have - a chance to go back in time and fix all your mistakes, or $10,000,000.00 cash?Pioneer QuittersHoggle - 35 - I'd choose to fix my mistakes. I wouldn't be quite as rich, but at least I'd have a clean conscience. Dillhole 17 NNT - following Hoggle's lead. Fix my mistakes - damn tough question - kinda glad neither could ever happen SC - 43 days of freedom - Give me the cash, my mistakes are part of who I am today......... Linux@root Day 24 Butterfly effect, I'll take the cash. Supporters: JuGray -304- Id take the money. My mistakes made me who I am, and I am proud of who I have become. We aren't perfect...except for Dr. Rumack. ipoppa33- day 1507- NDT! keep up the good work! TR1960 - 1866 - If I take the cash, can I buy some mistake fix at Amazon with free shipping? Welcome back Dillhole! STS - 485: I would be very leery on going back in time and changing any aspect of my life, as even something that would seem a small change at the time, may drastically alter the course of my life from that change on. Way too much Back To The Future and The Terminator thoughts going on for me. So it looks like I get to keep the cash. That is unless taking the cash is something I consider to be a mistake at sometime in the future and I am offered this choice again. Holy shit, I think I need more coffee or less coffee. The one thing I don't need is a wad of poison leaves in my lower lip. NMFDT!
  20. 2 points
    It's just a matter of time before STS makes an "I am serious, and don't call me Shirley" crack.
  21. 2 points
    Hey brothers! I just did the volunteer version of Forget the PR 50K on Saturday. Holy crap I was under trained and I am paying for it now! It was a lot of fun. I just got our old laptop reformatted because mine died. I hope I can post up a little more often then I have been. Hope ya'll are doing well. Once I get my mileage chart updated from the last two months I will post up some numbers. Cheers! Farley
  22. 2 points
    Team name suggestion "XDipShitz"
  23. 2 points
    January 4, 2018 Past day 11 without dip and back to the grind of NDT. Morning runs are a great way to start the day off without focusing on my addiction. Today's MAD: 3.5 Total MAD: 6.5
  24. 2 points
    If you quit between 12/21/2017 - 01/19/2018 this is your quit group. To join this group all you have to do is quit dipping and post Roll Call How to Post Roll Call Get the Contract to Give Up Print it out and carry it in your wallet Click Here for a room to exchange phone numbers. Accountability is key! Wednesday, December 27, 2017 Quitters - sign here: Supporters: RWM -295- No more excuses. I was dipping from the time I awoke until I went to sleep. I was a complete slave to dip. My dip usage was disintegrating my gums and lip, and was causing issues with my vascular system, and yet I rationalized that I needed the stuff in order to function as a normal, productive human being. Couldn't go to school without it, couldn't work without it, couldn't stand to do any chores without it, couldn't drive without it, couldn't have a shit-mouthed conversation without it, couldn't be alone without it. I was more afraid of quitting than anything else in the world. Thought the floor would drop out under me. Every once in a while I would have slim moments are clarity. There were things that scared me more. Those moments of clarity would become hazy and drift away and I could get back to dipping full throttle without fear. I had to grab hold of one of those moments of clarity and keep it in a bottle. That's what I do every day now. I couldn't do that when I was actively dipping. Dipping is a clarity suppression machine. Quitting brings the truth front and center every day. No dip today.
  25. 2 points
    I have recently had several members ask me to write down sort of a "what to expect" post. Something that would kind of let everyone know what to expect. I have to admit, I used to do this in individual groups, however, it is really difficult to look back to those early days and remember exactly what I went though and what days I was on when I encountered those things. I will do my best to give you a bit of a "when to look out for this" play by play. And remember, everyone's quit is different. If you don't hit a crave or a FUNK during a time period that is listed, my belief is that it is better to be prepared for nothing than to not be prepared for something. I was at the very end of my group, reaching the HOF a day or 2 before the last day of my month. I had the opportunity to read and see that most members of my group struggled with this, struggled with that around certain days in their quit. I also got to see when things seemed to clear up for them, and see when the journey seemed to level out a bit. I would definitely urge everyone to share their difficult days and their successful days with their individual groups, as that gives others the chance to see that goo things might be around the corner, or that they need to buckle down and prepare for another fight. And also remember, life throws us curve balls from time to time. Stress, for most of us, is a huge trigger, and when something traumatic in our lives happens, often times a major crave accompanies that stress or trigger. The final thing to remember...we have triggers that we associate with dipping. Driving, working out, hunting, yard work, watching sports, etc. We have a year's worth of triggers to fight through. Fall triggers for new quitters will be something you will have to face for the first time, well after you reach 100 days and the Hall Of Fame. The Hall of Fame is not a cure, just a nice milestone to achieve. 1 year is not a cure, again, it is just a nice milestone to achieve. I always focused on any day I could possibly celebrate. Days of 5 or 10, each week, any holiday that may fall, the more days I could celebrate as a milestone, the better. Obviously, each day is a day to celebrate, but day 5, 7, 10, 14, 15, 20, 21, etc...It gave me a short term goal to look forward to, something other than just the next day. And day 100 is just too far away to focus on early on in the quit. Day 1-3 to 5...This is the physical withdrawl period. All sorts of different symptoms. It's the chemical dependency leaving your body. We put years and decades of poison into our bodies. Our body is going to need a few day to get used to this healthy body again, and it needs time to adjust. I looked at it from a standpoint that I poisoned myself for 7 years. I can go 5 or 6 days through "payback". I hurt my body for all that time, I deserved to let my body punish me for my bad decisions for a few days. Physical could be headaches, very bad craves (mental), shakes, sleeplessness, emotional moments, etc. Day10-15...is when you will possibly start to see the "FOG" lift. One of the things I heard many quitters say when the caved was that they needed the dip to concentrate. The chemical didn't help us concentrate any more than a "sober" person would concentrate...going through the chemical withdrawl, our brain is rewiring itself and it needs time to reconnect some things. So some very easy tasks might seem to be Calculus IV level problems to solve. 2 to 3 weeks and that FOG is finally lifted. Day 20-30...You will actually finally hit a stretch where you now understand why the fight was worth it. You will feel great! The craves have subsided, you feel like a million bucks, your confidence is there...it's a very rewarding day to say the least. Shortly after, the craves will come back. This has now become a mental battle with the addiction. 7 years of training my body to ingest the chemical, it's going to take my brain more than just a month to "forget" about it. Dipping, for most of us, was a part of us. We have eliminated that part of us, and it will take a very long time to get over losing that part of us. I look at it like a person who loses a limb. The phantom pain is something they deal with for a VERY long time from what I understand. Our mind doesn't forget too quickly, and the addiction uses that as a weapon in this battle. Days 30-70. A continuation of the great days and the craves. The good news is that the days that you feel great begin to grow in consecutive numbers...at first it might must be a day..then a day and a half, then 2 days, then 4 days...etc. And the crave period in between the good days begins to shrink. A good day, then maybe 5-7 days of craves then a good day and 4-5 days of crave, and so on. Days 75-90...The FUNK arrives, as I referred to it. The FUNK is almost like going back to week 1. The craves seem to get a lot more intense. Sort of like the last ditch effort the addiction tries to use to get us to go back. The FUNK, over time, will dilute in intensity, but it seems to stick around a lot longer than the recent crave sessions (at least it did for me). Some in my group had the FUNK for just a few days. I believe mine hit around day 85 and lasted through 120 or 130. After a few days of the FUNK, it really turned into a minor crave that just would not go away. It was like that gnat or fly that keeps pestering you. You swat at it, you wave your arms, you spin around, you do everything you can to get it to go away, and it just laughs at you and buzzes by your face yet again. IT DOES GO AWAY, but I have seen members just give in to the annoyance and head back to the tin. The next 100 days after the HOF are hit and miss with more sporadic craves or funks, but you have confidence behind you, and experience. You will start to recognize the pattern. The next 100 days, same deal...so on and so on. I really can't tell you when you will hit that day that you don't think about it any more, or when you go weeks or months without a crave...but it eventually comes. I do warn you about a difficult time that I went through between days 500-600. This was stress related to me, as I was purchasing my first house. It was a big and stressful event. Obviously, the addition wanted me to solve the stress with nicotine. I also noticed that several others went through similar stresses during that time frame. We always shared when things were difficult for us, so that we could help each other out. PRIDE tends to get in the way. Some people are embarrassed that if they mention they are struggling or having a difficult time, that they may be perceived as weak. I would rather be called weak and still have my quit than to not ask for help and fail. Over time, I started to notice that others were struggling between500-600 and they were not going through any stressful moments in their life...so that time period may just be another FUNK that most people go through. Since the house, I have dealt with a car accident that nearly took my life, a separation and divorce (that was approximately a 500 day FUNK in itself...and I was quick to have friends here keep tabs on me and checkin on me). And a misdiagnosis for a pretty nasty disease. So, even though I have hit a number of "floors" or 100 day groupings, I have still had my challenges. And I know that there will be more to come. This is an addiction that has no cure, just our ability to maintain it. The moment we get too "cocky" and think we can never fail...that is usually the moment that we take unnecessary and dangerous risks. A final piece of advice. Avoid triggers early on in the quit and throughout the first year. I always dipped when I golfed. I quit during February. I hit HOF in May. I had all summer to golf. I did not golf once that summer...I didn't feel that it was something I wanted to challenge myself with. I wanted to make sure my quit was extremely strong...I could pass up one year of golf. It was better than getting out there, having someone offer me a dip, and losing all those days I had quit. Alcohol was something that I avoided for well over 100 days. I was not about to let alcohol cloud my judgment, even if it was drinking at home...alcohol causes us to make poor choices. No need for me to take that risk. Do what YOU need to do to keep your quit going forward. Some days it feels like we move an inch, other days a mile...but we keep moving forward. That is the key. Progress in a positive direction. Progress to a better life. Progress towards a better YOU!!!! Remember, this is the best recollection that I have of the early days of my quit. And I do know that everyone's quit is different, yet you will see a lot of similarities in quits with others and similar days that you encompass the same symptoms. In the process, focus on the positives...focus on the things you missed out on because you had to have your dip. Amazing sunrises and sunsets. Amazing days I spent with my (now ex) wife...so much of life that I was missing because I was so focused on a tin. Live life now that you have regained it back from the addiction! -Penguin

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