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bigmac44mag

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bigmac44mag last won the day on July 1 2014

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About bigmac44mag

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  • Birthday 11/09/1962

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  1. I’m a male, 51 years old, a husband, a father, a college graduate, a professional engineer…and I’m hopelessly and forever addicted to nicotine, even after 7+ years of being quit. I haven’t had any cravings in the past 5 years, but I know that just one dip would put me back into the habit of daily use. Just one. I found this web site on the evening of December 27th, 2006. That was the day after I began trying to quit a 32-year nicotine habit. I hadn’t had a dip 2 days, was in severe nicotine withdrawal, and was searching the internet for any help I could find. I had failed at several quit attempts over the years, but this time was different. I was really and truly serious. I had reached the point where I would rather die than continue on the road to oral cancer. I started chewing tobacco when I was 13 years old. Soon thereafter I began using Skoal, and a few years later I migrated to Copenhagen. I was a can-per-day dipper for most of my 32-year addiction. Rarely was I without a dip. I tried to quit every couple of years or so, but I never made it stick more than a few days. Nicotine always won in the end. But on December 25th, 2006, I decided to try another quit. At 10:00PM, “The Godfather” came on TV, and I took what I hoped would be my last dip. I awoke at 2:00AM, with some of the tobacco still in my mouth (and probably quite a bit in my stomach). I got up, spit out the dip, went to bed, and promised myself I would never ingest nicotine again. The first 3 days were very hard. I was in the middle of a 3-week vacation from work, so I could just concentrate solely on my quit. But still, it was a real battle. I couldn’t sleep much. I exercised, cleaned house, walked through the woods; anything to try and get away from the withdrawal pain. Nothing worked. Many people say that intense weight lifting workouts really help, but I never could get into weight lifting. When I found this web site, I read that the drug Wellbutrin helps reduce nicotine cravings. So I went to my doctor, got some generic Wellbutrin (called Bupropion), and it immediately helped reduce my cravings. It really did help me. But some quitters try it and experience no benefits. I’m just so thankful it helped me. It was about 9 months before I felt “mostly normal” again. By my first quit anniversary, I was feeling “95% normal” again. But I still had occasional cravings until near my 2nd quit anniversary. Don’t get scared reading these quit stories. Yes, it’s hell to begin a new quit attempt. I know it, and you know it. But you can get to the point where you have no thoughts of, or cravings for, tobacco. I never even think about tobacco any more except when I see a dip someone has spit out on the ground. And even then I don’t have any desire to have a dip myself. LIFE CAN BE PERFECTLY NORMAL AFTER YOU QUIT. But it takes time. A few weeks for some; a few months for others. Everybody is different. Chances are that you’re here reading my quit story (and others) because you’re trying to quit yourself, but are having troubles with cravings. And you’re here looking for some inspiration to continue your quit. Well, let me try and give you some. Do you remember when you took your first chew/dip/smoke? How many times over the years of your addiction have you wished you could go back in time and slap that stupid kid and try to talk sense to him about tobacco? Well, if you fail in your current quit attempt, you’ll become that stupid kid all over again. You’ve caved enough times in your life. Now it’s time to really and truly quit. Here’s your (maybe last) chance to make right what that kid did wrong. And you can. Good luck and don’t cave.
  2. bigmac44mag

    The Cafe - 2012

    Well, No Shit? What have we got here? Emm, I truly want you to succeed... and "Yes," I DO Care! "Let the encouragement begin!" (check out the "encouragement" I give below) Emm, Trucker Rick was a serious quitter while you were still dipping during sex. His words to you should be regarded as gold. He's a real quitter who actually cares.
  3. bigmac44mag

    The Cafe - 2012

    After 32 years of dipping, mostly Copenhagen, my 50th and final quit date was December 26th, 2007. I've been quit for over 4 years now. During the first days and weeks of my final quit, I was an emotional wreck. I still don't know how I made it through. A lot of prayer, support from my wife, and support from my quit brothers on this site. And a promise to myself that I would die from cravings before I took another dip. After a few weeks, my desire for nicotine weakened. After a few months, my desire for nicotine died. And today, after 4 years of being quit, my desire for nicotine is a distant memory. Not to say that I'm "cured". Not at all. The nic bitch would LOVE to get me back. And if I screwed up and took even one dip, I know I would be hooked again immediately. I'm still an addict. And I always will be. But I'm winning now. And I strive to keep winning every day. Even today, I still have "cave" dreams. I dream that I suddenly find a dip in my mouth, and I wake up scared to death. Stick with it. It's hell, I know. And I sympathize. But you MUST persevere. This may be your last chance to quit. Becaue if you cave now, you may not ever get the nerve to try to quit again. Your life is at stake here. You control your own destiny. You have a chance. What will you be a year from now? A dipper or a quitter? You will decide all on your own. Just you. Are you strong enough? I hope so my quit brother, I hope so.
  4. bigmac44mag

    Rough Day

    If God delivered you from alcoholism, then why didn't He deliver you from nicotine addiction as well? Was He playing a trick on you? Or was nicotine too hard for Him to handle? Maybe He's a smoker who can't quit? If He doesn't smoke or dip, then why did he create tobacco plants? Quit believing in God to help you quit. Believe in yourself. God helps those who help themselves (Phillipians 37:99).
  5. bigmac44mag

    Roll Call

    This is good stuff BigMac! Thanks for stopping by and giving us the update. What is your stage name so we can look for you when you become a famous guitarist? That is so cool you are taking on all these new opportunities/challenges. My take is you are replacing that old Copenhagen habit with some new, positive, fun, risk-taking, growth potential having activities! I see this shift in you because I've seen it in myself. I heard somewhere when trying to quit a habit it must be replaced with a habit of equal or greater value. For example someone quitting tobacco and replacing it with drinking heavily isn't exactly solving the problem. I like how you are acquiring new hobbies and furthering your education... now that's an upgrade from Copenhagen addiction! I was able to take my addiction to endorphins to a whole new level after quitting Copenhagen. I also firmly believe it gave me a boost in confidence being able to quit something that had defeated me so many times before. Keep up the good work brother BigMac44! Minch, good luck on the gridiron this weekend. Quite a game last night in the World Series huh Cheeks? Wish I lived on the West Coast sometimes so these games didn't keep me up past my bedtime. That 5 AM run came awful early this morning after staying up to see who would blow the last save last night! Thanks DOS. I remember the night I first found this web site. I was on the 2nd day of my quit, back on December 27, 2007. I was a pitiful, miserable, weak mess of a person after just 48 hours into my quit. I was literally in tears. In desperation, I googled something like "Help Quitting Copenhagen", and found this web site. I read and read quit stories, hall of fame stories, etc. And I joined up. I remember you as either the first or second person who joined our quit group. You started your quit one day before I started mine. From your posts, you seemed so strong and determined. I drew strength from that. You were a great quit brother. And still are. I wish we could all meet one day, if it ever becomes convenient for us all at the same time. It would be really nice. Do you know how many of our quit group are still quit? Hopefully, everyone who made 100 days is still quit. Take care DOS. BigMac44Mag
  6. bigmac44mag

    Roll Call

    Hello my beloved quit brothers, Long time, no see. I'm still quit, and I'm not caving today. Has it been almost 4 years now since we quit? Amazing. I think about you all from time to time. So much is happening in my life right now. My son is a senior in college (at Auburn University, my alma mater, class of 1985; go Cam Newton and Nick Fairley). I'm 49 years old, and I'm: 1. Pursuing my Master's Degree in Computer Science. 2. Pursuing my dream of playing electric guitar (I'm taking lessons and practicing like crazy). 3. Finally getting my teeth fixed (I recently started Invisilign). My teeth hurt. This may be almost as difficult as quitting Copenhagen. 4. I'm getting Lasik surgery soon. Can't wait to wear some cool sunglasses. And I'm doing all of this without the thought of having a dip. I was a hopeless 32-year dipper of Copenhagen; a failed quitter many times over. And now I never crave a dip. Without the support of my wife, and help from God, and you quit brothers, I would still be dipping a can a day. I wish you all the very best that life has to offer. Sincerely, BigMac44Mag
  7. bigmac44mag

    Roll Call

  8. bigmac44mag

    Roll Call

    SweetCheeks Clubhouse May 7, 2010 Man among men... the Cheeks!!! Topic o' the week: ? Buffalo Tarheel - 837 MNJim, sounds like our weather here...80 degrees the other day, cold with chance of snow on Saturday (of course!). Oldest Son just started his first job yesterday...he's already bitching about taxes!!! Have a great weekend guys! dos = 865 - Good stuff BT! Keep smilin Cheeks! steppinup - 852 - 45 min from the weekend, 70 today thru Sunday. Life is good. minchej - 851 - ...and I bet he wanted to know who the heck this FICA guy is that's getting away with murder too, huh BT?....Yes MNJim, the Twins got us in a clean sweep...but the San Josie Sharks didn't....Ernie Harwell was all I knew as the voice of the Tigers, in fact he arrived before I did!...That's the first thing that's come up lately that makes me feel young!....The best thing I can say about him is that he was a great broadcaster (hall of fame inductee in 1981), but he really was a better person...There was nothing I enjoyed more as a kid than going to bed when the Tigers were on the west coast and turning on my radio to listen to him while I drifted off...which led to a time I was in college I had a nasty case of the flu, ridiculous high fever, in the middle of winter, I was hallucinating that I could hear Ernie doing a Tigers broadcast every time I put my head down on the pillow, which got my roomate to take me to the ER for some IV fluids!...I got to meet him, Sparky Anderson and Al Kaline at spring training in 1984 when my college team got to spend a day of our spring trip at Tigertown in Lakeland, Fla...and the Tigers went on to win the WS that summer...very cool. MNJim - 858 - You never know Dos. It's a long season. I feel like I should get my duck hunting gear out with this weather. Have a great weekend everyone. bigmac44mag - 864 - Hey guys, long time no post. I'm still quit, and I sure as hell aint caving today. Happy Mother's Day. Life is GREAT with no dip.
  9. bigmac44mag

    Roll Call

    Hello All, My best wishes and respect go out to all you recent quitters. You have shown great courage in just beginning your quit. You will need it in the future as well. My quit was difficult, just like yours is. I was a 32-year user of tobacco. The last 22 of those years, I used a can or more of Copenhagen per day. I kept a dip in my mouth pretty much 24/7. So, when I quit, my brain got REALLY pissed off. It REALLY missed its beloved nicotine. And when it was suddenly deprived, it punished me to no end, physically and mentally, in hopes of driving me back to using tobacco. My brain kicked, screamed, hollered, and pissed at me. And eventually it threw feces at me. It made life very, very difficult for me. But only for a while. Over time, its ability to punish grew weaker and weaker. And I grew stronger and stronger. And eventually, I began having days during which I had no thoughts of tobacco. Now I sometimes go a week with no thoughts of tobacco. When I first quit, I would not have dreamed this was possible. I won't lie to you. A lot of new quitters cave. And the cold, hard truth is that some of you will probably cave. I say this not to scare or weaken you, but to hopefully strengthen your resolve to NOT let yourself end up among the cavers. If you remember anything about this post, let it be this: caving is the ONLY thing you can do that would be more stupid than starting in the first place. How many times have you beat yourself over the head for taking your very first dip/chew/smoke all those years ago? Wouldn't you like to go back in time and talk to that stupid kid (yourself) and talk sense into him about tobacco? To tell him the truth in no uncertain terms? And whip his ass if he didn't listen? Well, if you cave, you'll become that stupid kid all over again. And sometime in the future, you'll wish you could go back in time and whip your own ass again. Yes, you will. Stick with it. Stick with us quitters. Together we can stay quit.
  10. bigmac44mag

    The Cafe - 2010

    Hello All, My best wishes and respect go out to all you recent quitters. You have shown great courage in just beginning your quit. You will need it in the future as well. My quit was difficult, just like yours is. I was a 32-year user of tobacco. The last 22 of those years, I used a can or more of Copenhagen per day. I kept a dip in my mouth pretty much 24/7. So, when I quit, my brain got REALLY pissed off. It REALLY missed its beloved nicotine. And when it was suddenly deprived, it punished me to no end, physically and mentally, in hopes of driving me back to using tobacco. My brain kicked, screamed, hollered, and pissed at me. And eventually it threw feces at me. It made life very, very difficult for me. But only for a while. Over time, its ability to punish grew weaker and weaker. And I grew stronger and stronger. And eventually, I began having days during which I had no thoughts of tobacco. Now I sometimes go a week with no thoughts of tobacco. When I first quit, I would not have dreamed this was possible. I won't lie to you. A lot of new quitters cave. And the cold, hard truth is that some of you will probably cave. I say this not to scare or weaken you, but to hopefully strengthen your resolve to NOT let yourself end up among the cavers. If you remember anything about this post, let it be this: caving is the ONLY thing you can do that would be more stupid than starting in the first place. How many times have you beat yourself over the head for taking your very first dip/chew/smoke all those years ago? Wouldn't you like to go back in time and talk to that stupid kid (yourself) and talk sense into him about tobacco? To tell him the truth in no uncertain terms? And whip his ass if he didn't listen? Well, if you cave, you'll become that stupid kid all over again. And sometime in the future, you'll wish you could go back in time and whip your own ass again. Yes, you will. Stick with it. Stick with us quitters. Together we can stay quit.
  11. bigmac44mag

    Roll Call

    5th Floor Cheeks steppinup - 532 - Happy Fathers day to the Dads among us. Have fun with the young’uns. My son and I are off to watch old guys race today, then to my daughters for food and fun. BigMac - 544 - Glad to still be with all you guys. Have a great Father's Day. SweetCheeks Supporters
  12. bigmac44mag

    The Cafe - 2009

    WolfmanMac, That's exactly what the nic bitch said to me 18 months ago when I quit. I promise. She asked me "What if you go to all the trouble of quitting, and then get cancer anyway?". It was an attempt by my addicted brain to try and get my hands to feed it the nicotine it so craved. I dipped even more than you did. All day and night except when I ate and brushed my teeth. But unlike you, I sometimes dipped during sex, and sometimes slept all night with a dip in my mouth. And I had the same pre-cancerous signs you had. Fast forward a year and a half. Here I am, never craving nicotine. Perfectly content to live without it. And my dentist now says she can't even tell by looking in my mouth that I ever dipped. Honest. I went through my share of withdrawal hell. It was certainly bad, and my brain tried every way possible to trick me into taking a dip. But I somehow made it, and you can too. PM me and I'll give you my phone number. Quit. You won't get cancer. Don't quit, and you will. Who cares if you get cancer after you quit!! do you want to quit or not? If you want to then quit making excuses before you even try!!!! I will say you are not ready so dont try. You need to get off the pity pot and manup if you are going to begin this thing.If you want our help you have to help yourself first. So stop the bullshit and get serious. long&straight, I think everyone cares if they get cancer after they quit. When I quit, I went through what Wolfman is going through right now. I was so addicted that I halfway tried to convince myself to keep dipping because I might get cancer anyway after I quit. The brain is tricky, and will try to convince you of anything to get its next nicotine fix. Wolfman, get pissed and quit. Don't believe the nic lies. You're not gonna get cancer if you quit. Till then, keep worshipping the bitch. Kneel to your can, bow to it, pray to it, and worship it. It's your one true god.
  13. bigmac44mag

    The Cafe - 2009

    WolfmanMac, That's exactly what the nic bitch said to me 18 months ago when I quit. I promise. She asked me "What if you go to all the trouble of quitting, and then get cancer anyway?". It was an attempt by my addicted brain to try and get my hands to feed it the nicotine it so craved. I dipped even more than you did. All day and night except when I ate and brushed my teeth. But unlike you, I sometimes dipped during sex, and sometimes slept all night with a dip in my mouth. And I had the same pre-cancerous signs you had. Fast forward a year and a half. Here I am, never craving nicotine. Perfectly content to live without it. And my dentist now says she can't even tell by looking in my mouth that I ever dipped. Honest. I went through my share of withdrawal hell. It was certainly bad, and my brain tried every way possible to trick me into taking a dip. But I somehow made it, and you can too. PM me and I'll give you my phone number. Quit. You won't get cancer. Don't quit, and you will.
  14. bigmac44mag

    One Word Post

    Antidisestablishmentarianism
  15. bigmac44mag

    Zyban/Wellbutrin/Bupropion?

    Personally, I haven't. But I've heard of others on the site who have benefited from Wellbutrin or other meds for depression. Some form of depression is common for quitters, and it just varies as to the degree of depression. If it helps you to quit, it sounds like a good idea. Obviously, you'll have to consult with your medical professional about something like this....don't rely on a bunch of anonymous guys on a website! From what I hear, the Wellbutrin wasn't too addictive, but hopefully someone with actual experience with it will reply later with better information than I can provide. Congrats on quitting tobacco....keep it up, and head over to the June 2009 quit group and meet your fellow quit group members. Post in cafe or ask shanks who has recently posted there. He has experience with Wellbutrin. He said it is taken a week before quitting and then he continued for 2 months. He said it removes the mental craving part. I had tried for 5 days but I started when I was already 14 days into my quit. It does help with depression which is the major hurdle in the quit. If it helps you take care of depression and insomnia, you would be sailing smoothly through the quit without any problems. The support from this site is also a major help in getting past the tough times. I've been quit 535 days, and I used Bupropion starting on about day 10 of my quit. And I still do. All I can say is it drastically reduced my craves. I believe in it. I needed an anti-depressant anyway. Depression is something I've battled all my life. It seems to run in my family. So, it was natural to pick Bupropion since I was quitting tobacco anyway. I came off of Bupropion recently for a while. No tobacco craves, but depression hit me again so I went back on it. Whatever it takes to keep the cancer dirt out of your mouth is worth it.
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