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ICanDoThis

Hello from Colo

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Hi there. Took a lot for me to actually register on this site, but I did and now I'm here writing, which is a good first step. I don't think I fit the typical chewer profile, but I'm hoping you'll help support me anyway! I'm a professional woman in my 40's whose husband does NOT chew. I'm very private about my dirty habit, and very few people in my life know.

 

Started chewing at 16, thanks to the men in my life at the time who also chewed: boyfriend, coaches & teachers. While I can't stand smoking (insanely hypocritical), I've been chewing on and off for close to 25 years. I've quit many times -- sometimes for several years, and I've tried the patch, the gum, cold Turkey, and Chantix, which is a crazy-maker. I've never tried an online support group like this, though.

 

Just last month, I was into my 67th day of being chew-free (was using the patch), and we found out a family member is terminally ill with only months to live. Upon receiving that news, I hopped into my car and drove to the first 7-11 I could find. Since then, guilt, self-loathing, and a frustrated spouse have motivated me to give this support community a shot and set a NEW AND FINAL quit date of October 30th.

 

I welcome any words of encouragement you may have. Thanks!

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YES YOU CAN do this. Like many quitters on here I have my own opinion on how to quit, I am a professional guy in my late 40's, so I would suggest you read a lot on here and find someone that speaks to you and read their stuff. Frankly I found many who spoke to me, hopefully you will find the same. There are other females on here, so dont get to caught up in that, ndodge, mylilsecret, just to name a couple I know of. There is some trash talking, try to overlook it, many of us do not talk that way all the time, just when we are fighting for our lives, like you are. I am going to tell you what I think, take it, leave it, or use parts of it.

 

 

 

First things first, do you acknowledge that you are an addict? Well you are, no real difference than any other drug addict, except your drug is legal, and your drug is even more addictive than most of the illegal ones. If you havent already done it, face that reality. That means you can never have just one, you can not tempt what we call the nic bitch, (you dont have the power to defeat her own your own), you will be an addict for life. Once you realize, and embrace that, then it is time to decide are you going to be under the control of this addiction or are you going to throw off these chains and free yourself from tobacco and all the things it brings into your life. Sounds like you are a ninja dipper, how does it feel to sneak around and dip, putting your addiction it in front of your family? How does it feel to realize that you are under the control of something that can kill you, gives you bad breath, influences you to put it ahead of all others in your life, and costs 5-6 bucks a day? Embrace that feeling, keep it close to you, use that resolve to put this stuff where it belongs, out of your life.

 

I challenge you to quit right now, today, do not put one more dip in your mouth. You are better than that, waiting a couple of weeks for a distant quit date is just a way your addiction is controlling you. Don't let it control you, throw that crap out. We have all been where you are at, you are not alone, we want you to succeed, you are in the right place to quit dipping.

 

This site works on a few basic principles, self accountability, group accountability, and celebrating victories every chance we get. It is probably a good thing we are mostly in seperate towns, cause if we all lived close by I am afraid the celebrations might result in a lot more drinking. Speaking of drinking, avoid it and anything that lowers your inhibitions for at least the first few weeks. Many a quit has been lost due to drinking.

 

Self accountability - You have to decide that under no circumstance you will dip. Imagine the worst thing that could happen to you, I imagine one of my children getting hurt, or my wife leaving me, then think it through..... will tobacco really make that better. The answer is no, it will only feed your addiction and cause you to want more. In fact it will make it worse, because in the end, whatever bad thing happened will still be there, and you will now be firmly in the grasp of your addiction.

 

Group accountability - You promise to not dip one day at a time to your quit group. Keep your promise. Don't worry about tomorrow, only do what ever it takes to get through today, minute by minute, hour by hour. Get numbers, (this is a much bigger deal than you think) and use them. Call, text, with your quit buddies and they will help you through the rough spots, and you will help them. Read, post, Read, post and Read some more. You will find stuff to help you, especially in the beginning few weeks.

 

Personally I had to get a little pissed off at my addiction, made it much easier to quit. Reading the HOF speeches and various other things the vets post will help you. There are lots of little techniques on here that will help at different times during your quit; embracing the suck, sunflower seeds, cotton ball soaked in mouth wash etc etc. I look forward to seeing you post up in your quit group.

 

chuck

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Chuck, you rock! Thanks for taking the time to respond. Yes, I am an addict, and I'm not afraid to admit it. Yes, I need help quitting, hence my visit / posts to this site. What I loved most about your words is that you pointed out some insidious ways the addiction can manipulate. You also called me out by shedding light on a few blind spots I had, which I now see.

 

I heard a radio show 3 months ago about people's unwillingness to change -- even in the face of dire consequences. It was upon hearing that show that I promptly emptied two cans of chew out my car window and stayed chew-free for over 2 months...until I felt I couldn't deal with this family illness w/out a crutch.

 

Chuck, you're so right, stressors will always be there, and I can deal with this family illness (and other stressors) without chew. I've done it during many other stressful times in my life. You are also right in that this is dire. I'm going to find that radio segment again, listen to it, and post the link / info here. I'm also going to dig deep and find that same strength when I heard this segment the first time.

 

I don't know how this roll call / group thing works yet, but I'll figure it out. Thank you again for your awesome words. Off to research now...

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First off - welcome

 

You have made a great choice landing here. I do not know how it works, but the sight works. I suspect it is the distraction that you need several times a day as you are going through the quit cycle.

 

The site has really become my fix. I am 25 days in now and any time I would get rattled, I would come here and troll around, read, post, just past the time until I was OK (kind of like putting that dip it). It is my new fix.

 

Also, as Chuck said, accountability to all the folks on here that you likely will never meet, but are all going through the same thing. Misery loves company in the beginning and then it becomes any thing you can do I can do better as the days add up and you keep posting roll call.

 

I am also 40 ish and was a ninja dipper as they say for some time. Cold turkey was the way for me, embracing the suck, and really noticing all the crap my body had to go through pushing the toxins out of my body - it kept me focused.

 

Now it is all mental - when I wake up every morning I ask my self who would win a fight between a man and a can? Stupid question I know, but it makes me realize just how retarded putting that crap in my mouth was and that I will never do it again. (Oh, I think the nic bitch is not gender biased, so the fight thing would apply to woman and a can!)

 

Figure out that roll call and I will see you in there.

 

Cheers,

David

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You can do this!! Today in fact. Here is the link to the latest Quit group http://forum.qssn.org/index.php/topic/1490-roll-call/page__pid__5736280#entry5736280 Jan. 2012 Go there you will find all the folks who will be starting their Quit with you this month. These folks will be in the stew with you so to speak. You will post up your promise everyday not to chew, that is all we ask, Keep that crap out of your mouth for 1 day. Let tomorrow worry about itself. Today is what is important. Once you get to your group you will find another link there that explains how to post.

 

There are many different schools of thought on the best method to Quit, Cold turkey, patches, chantrax, seeds, gum, cotten swabs, the list goes on. The most important thing is to not put it in your mouth, no matter what it takes. you have to find what works for you. Setting a Quit date can be a good thing to get you mentally prepared, get a plan to beat down the craves, build up an inventory of crutches to get you through the craves. However, setting a Quit date can also provide a means talking yourself out of Quitting. Jump in today! It is a simple theory don't put it in your mouth and you are Quit.

 

You can do this!!

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Hi candothis.

 

Good introduction post and great support from the vets on here...You mentioned word of encouragement and I can offer the following..You also mentioned research as you psych yourself up for the quit date of 10/30...I can provide a couple of topics to google at the end of the post.

 

This forum will work for you if you work it..these guys know the ONLY EFFECTIVE WAY to reprogram our primitive brain (hard-wiring) to influence addictive behavior..it's pretty simple and they told us how..

 

Brain signals for nicotine like we taught it ....We say NO..ask me again later if you want to..

Brain signals for nicotine..We say NO, etc..

Brain signals for nicotine..Now we have a new habit after 21 days...We say NO..day after day..

 

Eventually the lizard brain stops asking..a new state of homeostasis has been achieved..

 

The formula was envisioned in 1935 by the founders of AA...it works, but takes persistence...That's why you see guys on here like W4life who have not used tobacco for years...they are protecting their own quit by helping others..

 

Research by google if you are interested ..

(1..."Role of the primitive brain in nicotine addiction"

(2.."Role of homeostasis in nicotine addiction"...Good paper by U of California..a bit heavy...

 

 

 

speedbump...dip free 26 days....

Edited by speedbump

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