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blake65

31 years of tobacco use...where does the time go?

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First, a little introduction...my name is Blake, I am 46 years old and have been using tobacco in some form since the age of 15. I started off dipping then eventually when to dipping AND smoking (many times at the same time), dabbled in cigars and chewing tobacco all the while continuing to dip. In college I quit dipping for almost a year and just smoked...then I went back to both again. Long story short: I haven't smoked in 5 years but I still dip one and a half cans a day. About 15 years ago I had to undergo a procedure to have a black spot removed from the inside of my cheek. It turned out to be benign, by the grace of God. You'd think that would be enough to scare me straight, right? Wrong. I think I started back about 6 weeks after that. Dip has caused SO much trouble between my wife and I what with all of the spilled spitcups on the furniture and carpet. She also feels as though I am choosing tobacco over her and my daughters since she feels that I don't care enough about them to quit. She asks me how would I feel if my kids had to grow up without a father. My kids have begged me to quit, my doctor said it's not a question of IF I will get oral cancer, but WHEN. I don't even want to think about how much money I've spent on this crap the past 31 years. Kodiak is almost $8 a can here in New York. That's why I had to go to a cheaper brand...and that costs $5 a can. Out of roughly 17 waking hours a day I have a dip in my mouth at least 12 of those hours, probably more. I have tried to quit countless times in my life, the most successful time I lasted 9 weeks. I have found that dip not only has a physical hold on me but a mental one as well. I associate dipping with pretty much everything I do. No matter what it is, I find that dip makes it much more enjoyable. How long do you have to have quit before that mental stronghold goes away? I find that I dip even when I'm not craving one...I just do it because I'm watching tv, driving, working outside, etc. The inside of my mouth is always wrinkly and sometimes sore. I have to switch up the sides that I dip on just to give the other side a rest from it. I'm pretty much at the end of my rope. I love dipping but I hate it. I KNOW that it is going to kill me eventually. My family has hounded me for decades to stop but to no avail. I don't want to lose half of my face or my life from something that could have been avoided if I just had a little more willpower. I found this site a few years ago when I was trying to quit and I have dropped in from time to time since then. I haven't set a quit date yet but it is going to have to be soon. By the way, I am in the process of going through a divorce so my anxiety level is through the roof making me want to hold tight to tobacco even more. Not really sure why I am dropping this on you guys...maybe just to show others that they aren't the only ones stuggling with this beast. Any comments would be appreciated. Thanks for listening.

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HI Blake,

 

I was once told that I have the willpower of a jelly donut. So If I can do it, so can you.

 

I'd like to tell you that it's easy, but it's not. It is going to be the hardest thing you've ever done. But, the good part is that we are here to help you. We've all been there and know what you are going through.

 

I would first suggest reading the Spongebob Mantra. For me, this was the best advice on how to approach quitting. That the quit was my job.

 

I would also say, don't wait!!! Don't set a quit date sometime in the future. You will always find an excuse to postpone it. Quit today! Right now! If you've been lurking around this site for a while then you know how it works. Go to the Feb 2012 Roll Call and post day 1.

 

You're stronger than you think. If you really want to quit you can do it. And we will help.

Edited by Bazza

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Hey Blake,

 

For me, each time I quit, it took about 10 days for me to be in the clear. Friggin hard 10 days. But think back about it and, jeez, 10 days is NOT really that long. Especially compared to the 15 years of dipping. (Yes, I fell down after being quit twice for many months. But I'm back with a vengeance and now know my triggers.)

 

Each time, I just made sure I was close to this site and shouted it out. This time I've actually exchanged numbers, etc and got more involved. And I stash away $5 a day which gives that little rush lookin at all the green I've collected.

 

Dude you will not believe how good you will feel once the clenches are off you.

 

Damn how many spitter spills I've had to clean up. And good too since I was a closet dipper.

 

So yeah, just do it. ONE day at a time. Quit for the first day and the next day you'd be mad at yourself unquiting since you went through the first day without.

 

-Brad

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Blake,

 

your introduction reads like a who's who of QSSN, you've outlined everything that is bad about chewing and nicotine. It's bad for our health, it's bad for our family life, it's bad for our social life, it's bad for our financial life, it's bad for our self esteem, it's bad for our personal hygien, and it's bad for the carpet... It should be an easy decision, but it's not and that is the sad thing. Something that is so horrible and destroys so many lives is so tough to give up.

 

You have to wake up, you have to shake it off of your back. It's not easy, but it's right. You have to find the strength within yourself to QUIT!! Not tomorrow, not next week, not next month. Right now!! There will never be a better time, There will never be a less stressfull time. The stars will not magicly line up and point out the perfect date for you to Quit. Now is the day, now is the time!

 

You have to find the strength within yourself to do it, we can help you, we can advise you, we can point you in the right direction, but YOU are the one that has to do it. Quit talking about it, Quit thinking about it, Quit putting it off, and QUIT

 

You can do this! All you have to do is stop putting that shit in your mouth.

 

Simple? it damn sure should be the easiest decision you ever made.

Edited by Wyoming4life

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Blake,

 

I am writing you to tell you that this is possible. I had 21 years behind me when I finally did this the right way. I played golf all summer without one. I fished all summer without one. I drove 1.5 hours to and from work, 3-4 days a week, for the past 35 weeks, without one. I hunted, worked, and did pretty much everything since March 15th without chew. Hell, I even shot my first deer without a chew in.

 

I sit here typing this, crying like a baby, because if it wasnt for this site, for Wyoming, Zero, Timekeeper, Chuck, and all the connections I have made here...if it wasn't for them, I would be sitting on the couch with a big fatty in. That my friend is after 248 days. I have had to use them three times. I have used the will I created all the other times, and developed the skills to stay quit.

 

If you are going to quit, DO IT FOR YOURSELF.

If you are goingt to quit, KEEP YOUR BROTHERS IN THE LOOP.

If you are going to cave, CALL YOUR BROTHERS and I can attest that they will help you.

 

I swear it will be the hardest thing you have ever done. But I am so fucking proud of myself, I can't stop smiling. After 248 days, I was going to cave tonight!

I also can't stop crying because I know how easy it would have been to just drive to the store and have one, but I promised myself that if I was going to cave...it would be only after I told Chuck, TK, and Zero I was going to do it.

 

Stay strong and come to the other side.

 

Cardio...ND4Me!!!

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blake - we could be twins except for a few years difference in our ages. I dipped for thirty years straight, and because of "uppers" managed to dip the whole 16 hours that I was awake each day! I have been through 2 divorces and hopefully will not go through another. I believe that dipping led to serious relationship issues in the first two marriages, along of course with other women.

 

You are definitely picking a tough time to quit, but then again, it might make things easier to focus on your quit rather than your divorce. The Quit will save your life as the latter will simply take your money.

 

Taper down, stick close to the site, and get 'er done.

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