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JustDoIt704

Fear

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Wow I don't know where to start.

 

The reason I quit this time is the same reason I attempted to quit so many other times. Fear of cancer. Each time was because of a sore tongue, sore throat or whatever. This time was because of what felt like a knot in my throat.

 

I noticed this feeling on a Thursday. I made the decision to quit. I threw my brand new can in the trash. I couldn't go to bed that night. I stayed up for hours freaking out about cancer. At some point I went to sleep but I woke up an hour and a half late for work that Friday. I had to do something. I had to find out for sure.

 

I made a doctor's appointment that afternoon and asked him to check for signs of cancer. He felt my throat asked me some questions and looked down my throat with a flashlight. He said he thinks I've got nothing to worry about. That most people he diagnosis with cancer like this are people who've been chewing for 30 years and are having a hard time swallowing or breathing. I have none of those symptoms. He said it could be heartburn, allergies, post-nasal drip or anxiety.

 

I felt better for the rest of that day. I went and bought beef jerky chew and Smokey Mountain Snuff to really help my quit. Now I've been quit for 9 days. But I'm still freaking out. I still feel like there is a tie tied tight around my throat. I can't tell if I only notice it when I start worrying about it but the more I worry the worse it feels. I haven't slept well since I quit. My mind is so busy scaring the shit out of me at night it takes me hours and hours to fall asleep.

 

The anxiety has gotten worse. It consumes my thoughts all day now. I can barely hold a conversation because I can't take my mind off of cancer long enough to pay attention to anyone else.

 

I am going to make an appointment with an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist tomorrow (Monday). Im expecting the worst. I've prepared a will in my head and wrote out a message urging users of tobacco to quit before it's too late. I feel like I could have a panic attack or heart attack at any time. I don't want to die. I don't want cancer. The anxiety and fear is so bad that I can barely function.

 

I really just needed to get this out of my head. I don't want to talk to my wife or parents about this because I don't want them to worry half as much as I am. I don't know what else to do or say. I'm just really afraid. Whatever you believe in, I need prayer guys.

Edited by JustDoIt704

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Wow I don't know where to start.

 

The reason I quit this time is the same reason I attempted to quit so many other times. Fear of cancer. Each time was because of a sore tongue, sore throat or whatever. This time was because of what felt like a knot in my throat.

 

I noticed this feeling on a Thursday. I made the decision to quit. I threw my brand new can in the trash. I couldn't go to bed that night. I stayed up for hours freaking out about cancer. At some point I went to sleep but I woke up an hour and a half late for work that Friday. I had to do something. I had to find out for sure.

 

I made a doctor's appointment that afternoon and asked him to check for signs of cancer. He felt my throat asked me some questions and looked down my throat with a flashlight. He said he thinks I've got nothing to worry about. That most people he diagnosis with cancer like this are people who've been chewing for 30 years and are having a hard time swallowing or breathing. I have none of those symptoms. He said it could be heartburn, allergies, post-nasal drip or anxiety.

 

I felt better for the rest of that day. I went and bought beef jerky chew and Smokey Mountain Snuff to really help my quit. Now I've been quit for 9 days. But I'm still freaking out. I still feel like there is a tie tied tight around my throat. I can't tell if I only notice it when I start worrying about it but the more I worry the worse it feels. I haven't slept well since I quit. My mind is so busy scaring the shit out of me at night it takes me hours and hours to fall asleep.

 

The anxiety has gotten worse. It consumes my thoughts all day now. I can barely hold a conversation because I can't take my mind off of cancer long enough to pay attention to anyone else.

 

I am going to make an appointment with an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist tomorrow (Monday). Im expecting the worst. I've prepared a will in my head and wrote out a message urging users of tobacco to quit before it's too late. I feel like I could have a panic attack or heart attack at any time. I don't want to die. I don't want cancer. The anxiety and fear is so bad that I can barely function.

 

I really just needed to get this out of my head. I don't want to talk to my wife or parents about this because I don't want them to worry half as much as I am. I don't know what else to do or say. I'm just really afraid. Whatever you believe in, I need prayer guys.

Hey JDI,

 

You most certainly have my prayers headed your way. 9 days of quit is nothing to sneeze at, especially under the stress that you're feeling.

 

Best of luck with the ENT appointment - I hope you find peace in the guidance a doc like that can provide.

 

This is a really tough time, but you've already accomplished a lot by getting to this point in your Quit.

 

Keep us posted, because I know many of your Quit brothers will have you in their thoughts.

 

Stay strong! You've got it in you.

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Thank you Danby. It seems to be a lot easier to stay quit when you fear for your life. I'm at the ENT now and I'll let you guys know how it goes.

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Got great news from the Doctor. No signs of cancer. The lump in my throat feeling is coming from a swollen epiglottis and uvula. But my God I feel like I can relax now.

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Wonderful news! That's very uplifting to hear. I'm glad you could fight through that stress, find some relief, and now get back to Quitting with a clearer mind.

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Got great news from the Doctor. No signs of cancer. The lump in my throat feeling is coming from a swollen epiglottis and uvula. But my God I feel like I can relax now.

That is great news, JDI! Now, don't let that fear wear off and change into apathy. You came here to quit because dipping is bad for you. Stay quit today and keep winning.

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Got great news from the Doctor. No signs of cancer. The lump in my throat feeling is coming from a swollen epiglottis and uvula. But my God I feel like I can relax now.

That is great news, JDI! Now, don't let that fear wear off and change into apathy. You came here to quit because dipping is bad for you. Stay quit today and keep winning.
In the past, I'd always quit when I felt a sore in my mouth and when it finally went away I would tell myself it's ok to dip again. Not this time. I'm done with that CRAP! Edited by JustDoIt704

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