One Year Ago ...
By: Bluesman


One year ago today, I was an angry, whiny, frustrated, agitated nonbeliever. I originally signed up here on November 1, 2001, but I was so lame and weak minded that I could not even make it 48 hours without chewing tobacco. I remember Sunday, November 4, 2001 -- hung over, sore throat from chewing all night, my "commitment" in shambles like all of the other "quit chewing" promises for the last twenty years ....

How many times are you going to do this, "Bluesman"? What is it going to take for you to do the RIGHT THING? Option #1 is death, chewing tobacco, mental slavery, the depression and self-torture of failed quit efforts, and the slow painful death of cancer. Option #2 is life, personal freedom through commitment and self-determination, reinventing oneself, true good health, responsibility, happiness, the satisfaction of achievement through hard work, and a man who TRULY cares more about his family than he does for himself. Option #1 is easy ... just keep doing what you are doing until it kills you. Option #2 is hard ... it involves a tremendous amount of sacrifice and self-discipline and hard work and courage.

I choose Option #2. I choose life. I value my wife and my children more than tobacco. I value my own life more than tobacco.

I will quit chewing tobacco because I do not want to die inch by painful inch, of tobacco-related cancer, like my father did. Tobacco addiction is a mortgage on your future and your family's future! Be intellectually honest ... if you found out that you had cancer today, what would you do to NOT have cancer, to NOT have that death sentence. What would it be worth to you to NOT have your son looking into your sick, unrecognizable, chemo-bloated face as you took your last breath? You would do anything.

So shut up, Bluesman, and do "anything and everything" now. Go back to that "quitsmokeless" site with "Day 1" under your belt. Post on that website so often that Matt's Server starts smokin' and poppin' like popcorn in hot oil. Make this Matt character send you a personal email, saying "No Mas! No Mas."

ATTACK your addiction. Find that "SMC" stuff or any other "herbal chews" and then chew it until your gums are raw and bleedings. Chew gum until you feel pain in your jaw, and then keep chewing. Join the YMCA and take all of the "quit" anxiety and anger and frustration out on a set of dumbbells. Tell your wife about it. Tell your friends about it. Put it down in writing on QS.org every single day. Admit that you are not going to be the best attorney in the world for the next three months because that is not your priority. Quitting tobacco is the most important commitment in your life for the next 100 days. Do whatever it takes ... Whatever it takes ... WHATEVER IT TAKES!! WHATEVER IT TAKES AND THEN SOME!!!

How many times did I look at new tins, sitting there behind every convenient store cashier, during the first 100 days? 100,000 times. If there was a camera on me from November 3, 2001 through February 11, 2002, I would have been institutionalized.

One afternoon, I made five separate trips to buy quit aids, to get me out of my seat and out of my head, before I finally just went home "sick" for the day. Another afternoon, I cancelled a meeting with an important client (!) so that I could drive 20 minutes north to buy a tin of Smokey Mt. Mint. I talked to myself all of the time. I actually bought a tin of Skoal twice in the first 100 days, and stared at the chew long and hard before throwing the tin away, with my commitment intact. I literally EXPLODED at my wife on Christmas Eve 2001, leaving everyone in tears and drained and exhausted. I survived a self-delusional "New Years Quit" rationalization ("Just quit again on January 1 ... you already showed that you can quit if you want to"). I kept posting and posting and posting and posting.

My faith was rewarded ... in a word, WOW!! I talk like the words carry oxygen back to my lungs and sustain my life, but I have no words for the personal pride, happiness, and satisfaction that I feel over this accomplishment. The word "Enlightenment" comes to mind. The word "Reborn" comes to mind. I just proved to myself that -- with a true commitment, hard work, and the support of my family and peers -- I can LITERALLY do anything. What word conveys that?

For those in the beginning of this journey and the battle with tobacco addiction, I realize that you do not believe me. You think that I exaggerating. You think it is IMPOSSIBLE to quit this habit, and you have 100 past examples to show me. I was just like you. When I found this site, I thought, "Here we go again ... maybe I will last a week ... but I doubt it." How do you know that you can make it? Read. Read this website.

I studied the website to follow HOF'ers from Day 1 to the present. I read literally everything on this site (including all of the links and archives). I posted several times a day, just hoping that someone would write something MORE to read. "Tell me it is worth it!! Tell me I can do this!!" Man, I was "shouting out" EVERYONE -- Jogi, DIII, Hoyt, Mex Bill, Athens, Neil, Gregory (another lawyer), TommyJ, Aiken, Kroch, Dr. Chris, MBurgess, Blair, Otown, Shane, Brent, and a cast of thousands). How does a twenty-year addict quit a deadly habit that is intricately tied to every facet of his life?? Lost cause, right?

Wrong ... there is hope. There is hope and faith in the words of others. But it does not happen overnight. Nothing worthwhile ever happens that fast. Quitting tobacco is like starting a weight lifting routine. You cannot see or appreciate your "gains" until your are several months down the road. Many quit before they get to the point where they experience the gains. Those who stick it out will wake up one morning and say, "Man, is that me???? :) "

Faith comes from this website, which records the victories and losses for thousands of chewing tobacco addicts, just like you, just like me, just like Matt van Wyk. The swelling halls of the QS Hall of Fame prove that we possess the power to make personal change. WE CAN CHANGE. We define who we are, and we can change if we choose to. If you thought it was impossible to quit chewing tobacco, I just proved you wrong. I do not chew tobacco anymore.

If you have failed and broke your commitment, and you are still coming to this site, then GET BACK UP, right now ... this exact second!! By definition, EVERYONE in our brotherhood has failed before ... in fact, you wouldn't be here unless you failed HUNDREDS of times in the past. Chewing tobacco is a formidable opponent. There is no shame or disgrace in getting knocked down, getting blood and grass stains on your uniform. It only becomes disgraceful when you fail to get back up. In fact, it is the "getting back up" that proves your courage, your determination, and your character. What kind of man are you?

If you are battling your addiction now, struggling to hang on, keep this thought in mind. There are no "good reasons" to chew tobacco because tobacco does not do anything, other than keep you addicted to tobacco. It does not relieve stress or relax you or make you smarter or cooler or better. It does not solve anything. It just makes you addicted and craving more tobacco.

In time, you learn that everything "good" that you attributed to chewing tobacco, is actually something that naturally occurs inside of you. Isn't that an amazing realization? If you are a great writer or fisherman or golfer or father or worker or person, GUESS WHAT?? You will be an even better writer or fisherman or golfer or father or worker or person when you quit chewing tobacco. Why? Because you now give life your undivided attention. You are now 100% involved in your life and your work and your family and your activities. You are now 100% in control of yourself and your actions. You run on your own gas.

In February, I wrote an Article called the "Secrets of Our Secrets." I feel more strongly about that article today that I did when I wrote it. If you are surfing this site, trying to figure out how to free yourself of tobacco addiction, here is the Cliff Notes version: This website works. If you come here every day for 100 consecutive days (or more if necessary), you will be free. Use this Website to quit chewing tobacco.

And for that reason, Matt, I am so very thankful for you and your website. Matt did not say "No Mas" when I started posting on his site like a madman ... he said "Bring it on." I am absolutely certain that I would be chewing tobacco today, right now, if I did not find Matt's website. Matt, I could never repay my debt to you, and I can only aspire to "make a difference" in my world like you do, each and every day, with this website. Thank you, my friend.

Finally, for the brotherhood, from those who suffer my ridiculously long postings, with rolled eyes and a fast forward button, to those who unnecessarily put me on a different level that the rest of the tobacco junkies here (i.e., I am not "legendary," "wise," or even an "old-timer" ... I am just a guy who made it one year, out of the last twenty-one, without chewing tobacco who has repeated a lot of the smart things that other people have said), THANK YOU!! You have helped me achieve one of the most important goals and accomplishments in my life. Stated differently, it does not mean much if you are a great husband or a great father or a great attorney, if you die from cancer before you're 50 years old.

Thirty years from now, when I hold my newborn grandchild in my hands, and stare into his/her eyes, I am going to think about the fact that I made the right decision on November 3, 2001, that made the moment possible.

Free your mind, one moment at a time, with the same unwavering commitment:

No Tobacco Today

The Bluesman

Postscript: When I mentioned to my wife that today was my one year anniversary, she wanted to pass on her own advice to the husbands in the brotherhood: (1) Apologize, in advance, to your wife for the mood swings, anger, anxiety, arguments, laziness, and out-of-your-mind behavior, (2) find a good flower shop, and (3) honesty will go a long way towards making your wife a true partner in the process.

Good luck.