I am desperate to quit smokeless tobacco. I am so addicted to this crap. For one thing I don't want to die with cancer and another is that my habit is getting too expensive. I actually attempted quitting yesterday and I go so sick that it immedieatly drove me back to the can. I began fussing with my wife and I was so irritbable that we got into a huge argument. She was telling me we did not have money for snuff but I was not hearing it. All, I knew was that I had to do something about my cravings. It was driving me crazy. My mind was in a fog and my whole body was shaking. It was horrible. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is get a dip. The last thing I do before I go to bed is get a dip. I used to sleep with the crap in my mind but my wife put a stop to that. Well, yesterday my wife told me she was going to leave for a few days until I straightened my act up. Problem is I could not think. I was in a rage. You know, I told myself, good let her leave and then I will find a way to get me some nicotene. I actually helped her take her suitcase to the car. We have a parakeet and she was taking him with her I was holding the door open for her and I had my back to her. All of a sudden I heard a loud crash and she had fallen. She stepped wrong as she was walking out the door. I ended up having to call an ambulance to come get her. Turned out she had sprained her ankle. She is in a lot of pain today. I just know that my addiction caused all this. I am so ready to quit. I have tried quitting several times but always the same thing. I get to feeling really bad and I end up saying what is the use and end up going back to dip. I feel so powerless and i have tried every thing. Nicotene gum, fake snuff, Hard candy and many other things. Listen, I want a long happy marriage with my wife. I want her respect and I want to have a long life. What I would like to know is how long does the sickness last? How long will I suffer? How long will I be so irritable that my wife can't stand to be around me? I am regularly pretty laid back and not much bothers me. My wife and i never argue until I try to quit snuff. Then I just change. My wife is not very supportive because I can tell her how bad I feel and it immediately triggers an angry response out of her because she thinks I am getting ready to hound her about buying tobacco. Sad thing is that I am a Christian and the bible states to not let anything to control you except the Holy Spirit. I feel so powerless and I am defianately under this craps control. It is like it is controling my mind or something. I woke up mad at the world yesterday and if my wife had not fallen she would have left me. I don't want that to happen. I love my wife. Well, any suggestions would be helpful. Please tell me what works and what does not. I need advice and encouragement. I have set a quit date 2 days from now on the 10th of July. Please help.

djchris71

Chris, your story is all too familiar. Many, if not all, of us have been where you are at. The questions you raise are all valid, and have been asked countless numbers of times on this site. Rather than try to answer them hear, I recommend you go to The Library, click on HOF Speeches, and you will see that many of the stories are similar to yours. While in the Library, also read the other Articles. Read the newer groups posts, and you will see many of your questions asked (and answered) there. Just don't post there yet...that area is reserved for people who have already quit, not just planning to quit. You will see what guys in the first 3 days usually go through. It is the hardest time, since it takes about 3 days for the nicotine to mostly leave your body. But you'll see the further mental battles these quitters go through the first couple of weeks, first month, second month, first 100 days, and so on. There is no guarantee of what will happen, since each quitter is different, but there are many similarities that we all went through. It sounds to me that your main problem is your mindset. You don't really want to quit, you just don't want to lose your wife (or your jaw to cancer). Many women who smoke are able to stop smoking when they get pregnant, because they know it will affect their child, but then start back up smoking after the baby is born. Their motiviation was no longer there, and they only quit for the child, NOT themselves. You have to make up your mind that you really WANT to quit, and that you really WILL quit. I'm not trying to sugar coat it and say it's easy, cause it isn't. But it's easier when you are quitting for the right reason....for yourself, not others. I did not quit for the right reason initially. I had lied about dipping for 4 years to my wife, and she finally caught me and forced me to quit. I quit, but she still ended up divorcing me, in part due to me lying for those years to her. Don't wait until it is too late. Drop to your knees and pray for strength, then throw the tobacco in the toilet, flush, and post Day One in Oct. 2008. That is a promise that you will not dip for that day. Anyone can quit for one day. It will not kill you. Then the next day when you wake up, post Day Two....you quit one day, you can quit another, right? Keep in mind that posting roll is a VERY solemn promise that you will do whatever it takes not to use tobacco or nicotine that day, so don't break the promise or else your honor as a man and as a member of this site will be in doubt. But more important than your promise to us is your promise to yourself that you will not cave. We are all addicts to nicotine, but that does not mean that I cannot live my life without the weed. Are you going to let a 1.2 oz can of wormdirt rule your life, your marriage, your family, etc? Just take it one day at a time....don't think now about quitting forever, because that seems too daunting a challenge. Set little goals for yourself such as an hour, then two, then a day, 2 days, etc. Keep in mind, though, that ONE dip sends you back to Day Zero, Hour Zero. As for other advice, get you some fake dip perhaps (non-tobacco, non-nicotine snuff...made of herbs (Smokey Mountain Snuff) or coconut (Hooch Snuff) or tea leaves (Bacc-Off), for example), or chewing gum or toothpicks or beef jerky or sunflower seeds or cotton balls (with or without soaking in Listerine) or loose tea or coffee...get the point? Anything but tobacco (no cigarettes or cigars or pipes). Start an exercise program. Go for a run or walk. Find a new hobby. Do NOT take out your frustrations on the wife or others in your life. They are not responsible for you being an addict. Come to this site and yell at US instead. Call us names or whatever. If anything ticks you off, come hear and vent to your fellow quitters in your group about it. Drink lots of water to help fight the craves and flush the nic out of your system. After you're quit, besides reading you should also post often in your group, plus maybe the Wildcard sections or anyplace else you want (other than the HOF Hangout...reserved for those who've earned it). I also encourage you to get your wife to try to read through the site (she can even join, if she wants, and post questions or offer others support. We've had other wives do that). There is some bad language...I hope she's not offended. But she might be able to understand a little better what living with a nicotine addict is like, and what you will have to go through to quit and stay quit. Remember....it's not her job to make you quit or help you. You have to be so committed to quitting that even if she asks you to go ahead and dip again that you will say "NO". It really does get better with time, Chris. But nothing worth having is easy, right? Though I encourage everyone to quit immediately, if you have a definite plan to quit on the 10th, so be it. Just don't start off your time on this site by breaking your first promise...stick to it! And take this time to stock up on the necessary dip substitutes, to read THOROUGHLY on the site so you know what to expect, to have a course of action or a plan on what to do when the tough times hit (life is full of tough times, whether you dip or not...just read my HOF speech if you need proof. The link is in my signature line beneath this post). And have a positive attitude. Don't TRY to quit. As Yoda says, there is no try....either do or do not. Get it in your mind that dip is no longer an option for you. Quitting is hard, but divorce and especially cancer are much harder. No matter how hard you think quitting is for you, I guarantee that there are at least a dozen others on this site who had it harder and managed to stay quit, enduring divorce, bankruptcy, loss of a job, death of a loved one, strokes, mental illness, loss of a home or other such things. OK, I hope this info helped you and that I didn't just waste all my time. I look forward to seeing you post Day One on Thursday, if not sooner. We'll see then if you're a man who is serious about quitting or if you will turn and run the first time the nic bitch rears her ugly head.

That is an interesting point about the pregnant women. You really have to quit for you and nobody else, not even loved ones.


Big Red

Because I said so.