Well, it has been 117 days for me since that last dip. It has not been easy, but man does it feel good!

I had been at it for 20 years, basically. Since college when it seems my whole soccer team chewed.
After I got out of college I actually stopped for almost 2 years.

Then, one fateful day I saw a high school buddy at a pro football game, we talked, and when he turned to go i noticed the round mark in his jeans. I was like, whoa, I remember that stuff, it would taste pretty good right now.

I yelled out to him, "dude, let me steal a dip from you." The rest as they say is history. Wonder what would have happened if I didnt see that guy that day.

Ive quit a few times before, 2 months, 4 months, etc.. That is why I realized that this time, I can never have one more. I'd just jump on that merry go round again. I knew this time was different.

My son and wife had alot to do with my decision this time, as did finding this site. In fact, I had this site up on my last day and was reading and looking through the gallery when i was having what I'd decided as my last dip. Quite a way to go, but it worked for me.

Although my family never said, 'stop dipping', neither did my dentist, who never said one word about my teeth or gums, i figured I was in the clear.

But deep down I knew I was doing damage, not just the physical but the mental addiction. I thought about the embarassment my son would have if I showed up at his baseball game with half a face. Or having to meet his date for the dance in high school with a bandana covering what used to be my cheek.

Funny, I still crave, but they lessen over time. I tended to associate dipping with activities: GOLF, YARDWORK, PRO FOOTBALL, PLAYING GUITAR, FIXING THE SINK, PAINTING, SHOVELING SNOW, GOING TO VEGAS,...

Then it hit me, man this crap has me around its finger. I never believed I could get through any of those activities again without a chew.

It was important to me to get through each one, and I have (except the snow.. but that will be coming soon, and I know I will make it.)

On one of the HOF speeches, one guy said, "I realized I could never ever chew again, not even once.."
and I thought, man..., i should be able to have one in a few months or years and be OK...

sometimes I tease myself and say inwardly, "well, i'll have one in a few weeks, or next month.. then that day comes and I dont want it. Ive been offered many many times and it used to be hard to say no.

Now it is easy. I realize if I have one, I'll start again, Im an addict. I have a long way to go, but I know I can make it. You can too, or you wouldnt be on this site.

Keep the faith brothers, find what motivates YOU to quit and stay with it. I found my motivation, and draw from it every day.

JB