Ninja – a warrior trained in martial arts specializing in stealth tactics.
Dipper – a person who uses smokeless tobacco
Ninja Dipper – a person who uses smokeless tobacco while attempting to hide it's use from friends and family.
I was a Ninja Dipper……….to the vets of qssn.org I will probably not reveal anything that hasn't been long ago discovered on this site. To the newbie poking around the site, trying to decide if the 'suckiness' of quitting is worth it, I encourage you to read on.
Like all of us here at the site, we all had our reasons for taking the first dip; peer pressure?, wonderment of what big brother was doing?, cool thing to do?.... For me, it started at the age of 15. Instinctively, I knew it was not the smartest thing to do because I knew there was no way I would ever chew tobacco at home. So a Ninja Dipper was born. What started as just a pinch before and after football practice quickly blossomed into sneaking dips on the way to and from school and figuring out innovative ways to chew in the classroom (this was long before I mastered the art of swallowing!).
By the time I went away to college, I was a full blown addict. As luck would have it, two of my roommates were dippers. It was like throwing gas on a fire; new found freedom away from home and all the tobacco and beer my finances could afford. Even convinced myself that 8:00 am calculus went oh so much better with a dip in! During my sophomore year, my future wife enters the picture. Generally speaking, packing a big fat dip is no way to impress a lady and my new found girlfriend was none too impressed with my addictive habit. So Ninja Dipping again became the norm. The stealth chewing pattern for the next twenty years was set in motion.
Over the years, I would periodically be caught chewing by my wife. Upon being confronted about it, I would invariably become over-wrought with guilt and commit to never chew again. This met with very limited success as a quit tactic. My quit would last anywhere from a couple of hours to a day, depending on how long until I returned to work and could get another can. Each time I was caught, I would redouble my efforts….not to quit, but to hone my tactics of keeping my chew under the radar. The nicotine bitch would convince me that I just wasn't trying hard enough!
The real problem became the selfish pattern of nicotine addiction blinded me from the fact that the relationship with my wife was eroding. Each time caught with a promise to quit was just another lie to soothe my guilt temporarily and was violating the one thing my wife held sacred…honesty! What I had convinced myself were only white lies (that's my grandmothers term, bless her soul), were full blown violations of the highest order in our relationship. It wasn't about the tobacco, it was about the habitual lying, the complete lack of confidence in anything I said.
Before I go on, let me tell you how bad the addiction had permeated other parts of my life as well. Professionally, as an engineer and a teacher, it is was vital to keep up the charade. My first job after college was with the nuclear navy as a civilian contractor. I have entered high radiation
areas with a dip in! I don't know how many rules were violated there, but personal safety was obviously not an important fact either. Job interviews were a great time to stealth dip. I would have to go hours on one dip and no spitting to get through the interviews. Overnight campouts with my sons and Boy Scouts were particularly challenging. Camping with large groups of the most upright standing people you could imagine and I would have to sneak behind a tent to put a dip in. My first teaching job definitely upped the ante. As I walked into the building each day I would see a sign that read "Tobacco Free Zone, no tobacco products of any kind allowed on campus….." For the first time, my lifetime addiction could threaten my job. Still not enough to persuade me though. I walked into my first Algebra class discreetly packing a dip!So if you have read this far, I am sure for a lot of you this rings true because it did for me the first time I found this site. In fact, it was after one of my guilt ridden episodes of being caught that I found qssn.org. At first I was highly skeptical. Being a Ninja Dipper for my entire life left me with no support group. It was my problem, and I alone would have to deal with it. I cautiously started reading articles on the site and light bulbs were going on with each one. I was not alone in this crappy addiction and here were a group of people who really understood how hard it is to quit.
If you read anything else on this site, you must read the following two articles; Tom and Jenny Kern
I sat in my office on the Friday before Labor Day weekend reading these articles and balling my eyes out. I went home that evening with a resolve I had never had before.
At first I was a Ninja Quitter! I had broken promises of quitting dip my entire life. I was not letting the cat out of the bag until I had gotten past the physical withdrawal symptoms. Others on this site will disagree with this tactic and feel you should let everyone around know of your quit so you can be held accountable. As a Ninja though, this was a tough pill to swallow and so daily roll call served my purposes for daily accountability. After the first week, I confided with my wife my new found resolve. She of course was highly skeptical. I tried to convince her that my support brothers with goofy names like Moose, BigWaveDave, CanadianDave, Highcotton, Medic, Werde, jackass, BradSart, Cousin, Troutfitter, Dirt, CJ, and Wilson were going to help pull me through.
As the first weeks of my quit rolled on I discovered some cool and new things….the pleasure of looking my wife straight in the eyes and telling her I haven't chewed, the lack of constant withdrawal headaches (this is another darkside of Ninja Dipping, your body is in constant state of withdrawal if you can't get your next nic fix in time)
As I bring this to a close, I have one last piece of advice for the fellow Ninja Dipper. You are fooling yourself and those around you if you honestly think your dipping is a secret. With my new found openness with my wife, I asked her recently if she knew when I was chewing. She calmly replied, "Yes, I did" The stained fingers and teeth, chew drippings in the car, odd excuses to be alone and other tell-tale signs all added up for her and she knew all along. So if nothing else, stop insulting your significant other's intelligence and stop lying to them! If lying doesn't seem to be a problem, then I would encourage you to read and sign the following contract.
Finally, I have to finish by thanking some individuals. To all of the members of the December Dip Destroyers, Thank you so very much. We have never physically met, but your presence in the group has literally helped save my marriage and my life. And for KillerAttorney, you are a posting slut of the nth degree
. You sent me my first PM encouraging me to become active in my quit and I was left wondering who the hell has a name like KillerAttorney. I was a little intimidated at first but soon learned you pour your heart and soul into making this site work. I can never thank you enough!For the first time ever, I look forward to a dipless future and all the joys it will bring.
Jeff (aka Professor)