Catch-22 here and this is my HOF speech. For those that don't know, I chose the name Catch-22 as I had been a chewer for 22 years, and it was always a Catch-22 when I tried to quit. I really kind of wanted to quit, but not really, and I knew that I would never stick with it anyway, so what was the point? I was always caught in a Catch-22 with tobacco. Things that weren't reasons for me to quit: My health, my family, my wife, my kid, my job (which is an anti-tobacco school), none of that was reason for me to quit.
Do you want to know my big reason for quitting? Do you want to know the glorious epiphany that led me to this startling path of reconciliation with my health? I don't have one. The wife and I were watching a movie one night, me hiding my dip in the back of my mouth, and when it was over, I went to the bathroom, spit it out. Grabbed the can that I had hidden high up on the back of the roof of the shelf in the bathroom dumped it out, and basically just said " I'm not doing this shit anymore." And that was it. No rhyme, No reason, just plain old "I'm not doing this shit anymore" which I said a million times before and never meant it.
Why was it different this time? As corny as it sounds, it was because 2 days before that I found this site, and started reading some of the things that other guys had written. It was like looking into a mirror. Everything they said to justify their using, I've said. Everything they were worried about, if they quit as far as image, I was worried about. Most of you are like me. Copenhagen was part of who I was for 22 years or 2/3 of my life. How many other things could you say you've done every single day of your life from age 12 to age 34? Brush your teeth? maybe. Sleep, eat, and use the bathroom? yep - and that's probably about it. With me it was sleep, eat, use bathroom, and chew. So it was like giving up sleeping, eating or using the bathroom. Many of you reading this are probably thinking, "Yeah, that's me too." I never truly believed that I would ever be Copenhagen free, and that really started to piss me off. I am kind of a control freak, and for something to have control over me, just started to not sit well. Now I always tried to convince myself that I was in control of my tobacco addiction, but I knew deep down I wasn't.
The biggest hurdles I had to climb were getting used to doing certain things without a chew. Now basically I had a chew in my mouth from the moment I woke up until the moment I went to bed. The only exceptions to this were when I was eating or coaching a game. But there were certain major triggers in which I really had a tough time with. Golfing - Up until this August, I had never golfed one round of golf without a chew in my mouth. That was tough as I have been golfing fairly regularly for 17 years. Once I got past that hurdle and golfed a whole day without a chew I knew that I could do this. Another trigger was going to a concert (rock). First time I ever enjoyed a concert without a chew, which was made especially worse because 1. we were drinking (always a trigger for chewing) 2. Everyone I was with was chewing. 3. This was only 3 weeks into my quit - body still detoxing. But I made it through - and it was the next day that I realized - "You know what, I Really don't need this shit anymore." And I was convinced. Couple that with the support and advice and not wanting to let your quit buddies down on this site, and I would say the last 50 days or so have been fairly easy. There are still moments or a moment each day where I think about breaking my quit, just for a few seconds, but then that moment goes away, and I'm a better man for it.
I just want to say "thank you" for all the support given me by the people on this site - and for those of you reading this, and thinking you can't do it. Yes you can - trust me - I was the ultimate "I can't do it" guy. You CAN if YOU WANT. And Please do, you will feel so much better about yourself, and you will be back IN CONTROL.
Thanks,
Catch-22
Bob