Like many of you here, my story is all too famaliar. It could have easily been told by picking parts and pieces of many of the stories found on this site. The thing is, your stories helped me, and I have this hope that mine might help someone else, so here goes...

I started chewing leaf tobacco as a kid sometime around 1979. Soon after it was a daily ritual, and eventually it got to be more than just a habit, it was part of my personality. My very identity as a man was tied to this oral fixation. By the end of 2008 I was dipping 10 cans (a roll) of Copenhagen every 7 days. I had attempted half heartedly to quit many times over the years but never made it more than a month or so. Something (usually stress) always seem to come up that "justified" taking a dip.

People and programs dedicated to changing addictive behavior often want to pretend that those addicted don't like it. Don't you believe for a second that I didn't - I loved a big dip in the morning immediately after my coffee, or after a huge supper, or anytime in the woods. Mowing the lawn with a baseball sized fist of Levi Garrett in my jaw was as enjoyable as any afternoon could be. Sure I was addicted to it, but it was more than habit or addiction: I liked it.

Others want to tell you how un-cool it is or how bad it is for you. That just made me put up a wall. I got it - it was a nasty, horrible habit, that gave me the appearance of an unprofessional redneck. Stating the obvious isn't a method of recovery and for me, for some reason, actually made me defensive and resistant to try quitting.

Deep down the reality was I just didn't want to quit. Everyone who knows what I am talking about here knows one thing: you have got to want to quit. This monkey won't climb down off your back by himself, you have to hit him in the head with a tire iron to knock him off, and keep hitting him as hard as you can everyday. It's mentally challenging, physically painful, it makes you crazy, it takes intense concentration and superhuman discipline, but it can be done.

One thing that really helped was reading this site and seeing what others did. I personally did not pick a "quit date". I just made up my mind and with about 3 cans left I just started seeing how long I could go in between dips. It will surprise you at first just how subconcious this habit is, but after a couple of days, it was fairly easily for me to double the amount of time in between dips. The really hard part was yet to come.

Finally my last dip sat waiting in the can. At about 2 o'clock in the afternoon on Sunday February 22nd, 2009 I scraped the waxy innards of that can until not a spec remained and packed my lower lip with hopefully the last dip of my life. I savored that dip for all it was worth, and I can still faintly remember the aroma, taste and mild burning sensation that was so famaliar.

Afterwards, I did a couple of things. First I purchased the COMMIT nictoine tablets. I found the 4mg made me queasy so I switched to the 2mg. I would place them in my lower lip just like a dip. I read and followed the guidlines provided with the package.

Second I made a small sign and put it in my office. It had three words on it: my son's name at the top, the word "Cancer" in the middle, and the figure $1,800 (the amount I calculated I was spending annually on tobacco) at the bottom. These three things kept me motivated and when I really wanted a dip - even when I wasn't at work - I could see that 8" X 11" sheet of paper with those three words on it in my mind.

Finally, I took it one day at a time. You hear a lot about this when it comes to addictive behaviors, but it is definitely an important mindset. You can't get ahead of right now and right now is all you can control - I just told myself that I was not going to buy any, or bum any for the next hour and that seemed to keep me focused.

The next couple of months were hard. I had bad headaches, my sleeping cycle was haywire for a while. I gained weight, I was irratable. I wanted a dip so bad I could taste it. I went through 12 weeks with those nicotine wafers which helped with the urge, but never completely satisfied the habit.

Then something miraculous happened. I started the step down on the nicotine losenges, and the desire for a dip gradually faded. Only once during the entire fall hunting season did I truly want a dip, and I got over it quickly.

As of February 22nd, 2010 I have made it exactly one year without a chew or a dip.

I have gone a year which is only a start. I chewed for 30 years and when I have not chewed for 30, only then will I say that I have quit for good. But I am proof the physical additiction can be whipped and the mental can be (at least temporarily) controlled.

Some of the weight I gained is coming off now and my whole outlook on my personal health has improved. I can taste foods that were bland to me for years. My teeth aren't yellow anymore and I am not surrounded at home or work with endless cups. cans, and containers of vile smelling, carpet staining, spittle.

That's my story - not unique, nothing that hasn't been said here a hundred times before. But this site and others who told stories like this were a starting point for me, a foundation, and 365 days later I can say it is successful so far. Thanks for creating this site, it is going to save some lives.