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Mablog

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Maquit's confirmation of quit activities

Entries in this blog

 

The Game of My Life

302-days 3rd floor, Im a slacker for not posting something in the last 100 days, not that anyones success , except maybe mine, hinges on the words I put here. No excuse but I make them up in my head so I can lay mine down at night. 300 days. The last 3-weeks have been murder, capped by many triggers   1. Road Trips 2. Long Work Days 3. Social Obligations (A wedding this morning after working two 14+ hour days) 4. Professional challenges reduction in staff coupled with increasing workload

maquit

maquit

 

200 days- 2nd Floor

Im so glad I quit, but sometimes I hate my quit. I hate it because I resent it, because I want nicotine. My quit is in direct conflict with my addiction to nicotine, and it sucks. Embrace the Suck Harden The Fuck Up!, Rub some dirt on it and walk it off! I know its inherently obvious to the casual observer, but for my dumb ass, it is hard, and one of the main reasons to remain ever vigilant! Ive only been this far once before. I made it to a year and a half once; Back in 91-92. I really hate th

maquit

maquit

 

Embracing the Suck

I saw a comment the other day about how you should never let a challenge slip away, because it is an opportunity to see yourself in a way you never have before. I started thinking of the "Suck" as a challenge it presents, and how I should embrace it, and not let it slip away. Each "Suck" for me now is new territory. We've all quit before and for different lengths. I've only ever been past the 6-month mark a twice. It's common belief, in the study of nicotine addiction, that the more times you qu

maquit

maquit

 

I'm just gonna have to trust myself

read an interesting quote about the future and the past, and in my head, I took liberty with it to link them with today. the quote dealt with mis-trusting ourselves in the future because of our past. As we move through every phase of conquering our addiction, day one, HOF, each floor, years, commas, etc, we are all going into uncharted territory, except for today. "One Day At A Time", we scream it in the shoutbox, we profess it on our role calls, and we hold tight to it during the wild mood swin

maquit

maquit

 

It will never end? Good!

Love reading the new HOF speeches and the daily posts, etc.   I will never stop reading this stuff and I will always stay plugged into the information I can learn from.   I'm heading into the stretch of time that I've feared since I first quit back in June. That time that I think I am in control and that I can have that one dip or that one pull on a cigarette or cigar. I know its a lie. I'm addicted to nicotine and it can't play another role in my life other than a past role. Everytime I thi

maquit

maquit

 

Good Day

I just realized that in the last 90-days, I haven't once thought "I need to quit chewing tobacco". Before this, I would say "I need to quit this shit" at least once a week. More so if my gums were sore, or I got that effin white wrinkly patch on my lip.   Today I am free of it, and today was good. One day at a time, and I'm looking forward to more days like this. I know I see alot of posts about craves for the rest of our lives, and you've got to stay committed to quitting forever. We did this

maquit

maquit

 

That New-Quit Smell

During my quit research (quitsearch?), I repeatedly come across the concept of the icky 3s, and the 3rd of the icky 3s is that somewhere around the three-month mark (obviously different depending on the person), people often experience a plateau in their quit a case of the blahs, depression, anti-climatic realizations, boredom, or whatever. The novelty of quitting is probably wearing off, and were becoming comfortable with our new, dip-free, lives. Weve battled the physical challenge, weve face

maquit

maquit

 

An Interesting Thing Happened on the Way to the Bowling Alley

So Saturday night, I’m off to bowl with my brother. I had fought some awful cravings all day will doing yardwork (one of my 3 triggers) and was admittedly “jonesing” for a crutch. I asked him to stop at 7-11 to see if they had any dip substitute. Of course they didn’t (they never do here in Vancouver). I was a little cautious, but I felt I was in control of the situation, but I really wanted to take a little of the edge off that had built up over the last 32 years. Seeds had helped during t

maquit

maquit

 

Shame on Me.

This revalation stung me to the core.   I love the commentary on this site that refers to the efforts chewers will go to hide their habit. Just a few expamples - I love the hiding of the spit bottle under the seat, taking the long way home to savor the dip a little longer, making excuses to run an errand so you could skulk about with your nasty habit, lurking in unsavory locales to indulge our unsavory habit. My personal favorite for myself was standing by the front window, waiting for the w

maquit

maquit

 

Perspective This!

As Ive said before, I think one of my toughest challenges the future me is going to face has to do with my perspective of chewing. I will need to find a way to reprogram my brain and change my past, and flawed, perspective on popping a chew. This quit, this journey, this construction of my monument, must represent a basic shift in thinking. I believe I must see quitting chewing, not as a shame on you, you should know better exercise, but as an opportunity for growth as a person who now makes bet

maquit

maquit

 

No End In Sight

You know how people say "you can see the light at the end of the tunnel" indicating the end of a long struggle or tough project? I look at this entire quit process as seeing the light at the start of the challenge. Nicotine addiction has blocked the light for too long. More along the lines of "I see the light" or an epiphany. The light is so bright. The big difference being that there is no end to this process. I accept my role in this addiction. I'm a quitter. I will stay on this path to achiev

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maquit

 

Tough Trigs

This was certainly a "one day at a time" moment in my quit. I knew I was facing a tough day. I love to golf, and it is one of the things I used to chew while doing. A nearly perfect opportunity - outdoors, active, hanging with the guys, drinking a few brews. While I played like a no talent ass-clown, and wished for something to make me play better, I chose NDT instead of a better golf score. More because I know dip doesn't make anything better. I must acknowledge the impact that dip has made on

maquit

maquit

 

F U Relaps

People often quit chewing and then somehow find themselves chewing again. We’ve all probably done it. For some, this occurs in the first few gut-wrenching days, the first challenging weeks, or a few months after quitting, usually when the “Blahs” kick in. This won’t happen to me, again. What I’m focused on is 6-months and beyond, and what I plan to do about it today. In the past, I’ve always relapsed by just having “one dip” to maybe recall the nostalgia days, say during a round of golf, a

maquit

maquit

 

Missed Opportunity?

Spent three hours with a buddy I hadn't seen in 6-years, sitting across from him, discussing conference room remodel options and concept design development. In a room full of folks, he had his spit cup and big ol dipper of blue skoal (is that spearmint?)in there. Did I want a dip, nah, I'm full of piss and vinegar for my quit, and this journey is just starting. But I seriously thought about offering up a sort of "testimonial" about my experience over the last 40-days. The overwhelming sense of r

maquit

maquit

 

My Monument

What’s it take to build my monument? Simple – “One Day At A Time” Past success, that’s just what it is – In the past, and the layers of my monument. I did it, but I must do it again today “One Day At A Time” . I can’t celebrate tomorrow, it hasn’t happened yet, and that are layers yet to be built. Today matters. Today is my “One Day” and the time is now, and that is the part of my monument that I will focus on.   I’m also part of another community, focused on quitting smoking. I joined

maquit

maquit

 

Good Riddance

Dip, you are not my friend. I came to rely on you for what I believed to be stimulation, relaxation, or stress relief. I became physically and psychologically addicted to you and the more I used you, the more difficult it has become to leave you. As I became more physically addicted to you, I developed other habits that made you even more important to me.   It was so gradual; I did not even realize it was happening. A round of golf, or other outdoor sports activities, always triggered a move

maquit

maquit

 

Won the Battle, Lost the Softball Game

Played softball this evening - one of my triggers. Softball (from baseball) Golf, and yardwork.   Used to always have a chew when I played. one per game, two per night with double-header nights.   using gum and seeds to substitute.   Got ourselves whupped by 10, but that doesn't matter. didn't chew, and only had moderate urges, more out of habit, not physical need.   This is a habit, and I'm addicted. While i've shed my physical dependency, the powerful mental addiction remains, and I mu

maquit

maquit

 

1st entry

What the heck is a tag? Never been a blog guy. Is a blog like a diary, and a tag is like a topic of the entry? Guessing it can be anything I want it to be, within the confines of the program. Enough on that.   Really looking for a way to fight the thought that it is OK to just have a dip. My past quits have all been derailed by this one thought. Today, I can tell you it is not OK, but what faulty programming in my head says that I can just have one and be done? That is what I'm looking for. Wh

maquit

maquit

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