19 years on this wonderful stuff and I can't imagine life without it. Yes I did the New Years resolution, this time "Cold Turkey" no patches or medication. 1st day went to bed at 6:30 PM "miserable", 2nd day I was terrible to be around. Yelling at the wife and kids, no patience. Ended up going to the gas station at 7PM and life was back to normal.
It's funny, but when I look back at this relationship I have had with nicotine I don't remember being such a slave to it. It has been a gradual addiction and the most strongest now. I can remember running out of chew and not really freaking out. Now if I'm at a 1/4 tin left I'm at the store and can last throughout the day. How sad it is to realize that I cannot go through 1 day of life without a little ration of dirt in a can.
What the F*&$ is wrong with me? I can't freaking do it. I did quit 8 months in 2010-2011 but started up again in August of 2011 due to my excuse of "work stress". The way I quit was using lexapro 10 mg along with 1 or 2 21mg patches and then working down to 1 21mg patch. I hated the lexapro and tired of the patch. I felt like I was becoming addicted to the patch. So I quit the pill and patch and started back up slowly, but within 2 weeks back right where I was before I quit. I talk to people and they say "It's mind over matter", which is true, but at the same time bull s% to me right now.
I guess I'm reaching out on this website for some words of encouragement, which I doubt will even help, but I truly want this monkey off my back and I am tired of my dependancy on this powerful little drug.
Sorry for the negative vibe on this note, but I do look forward to any positive feedback.