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Long road to glory

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RajunRick

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I have made it to day 47. I don't think I have ever been quit this long. But it hasn't been without perils and tests, but I have survived. I have a quick temper that I find hard to control, with a little voice attached to it that always lured me back to dipping with the promise of control. And daily I have been tested by 2 coworkers who were supposed to quit with me, but barely made it a week before failing. On the bright side, I have gained my wife's trust again! Before I quit, it was to the point that she would not randomly kiss me or kiss me when I came home. I know it sounds silly to some of you, but it really bothered me that I had lost that affection. And she felt like I didn't care enough about her or our kids to quit. We fought over dipping for many years, and it had left her scarred and untrusting when it came to me quitting. I had failed so many times in the past. Instead of picking myself up and trying again, I would hide the fact I was dipping again and act like I was still quit until I would get caught. I did this to myself, I coveted dipping more than honesty. At this point I have gained her trust again and it feels great. I have so much more to gain if I can stay focused. There are times when I want to dip and feel sad that I can never have it again, but the pride I feel for the amount of days I have been quit along with the benefits gained help to keep my thoughts and emotions balanced. It took 10 years of quitting and failing, but I have found the inner strength needed to see me through this.

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