The man I am today is not the the man I was three months ago. And writing is a lot harder when you are happy.
What I have learned about myself is I can win a hard fight when everything is saying quit. I know that my wife and friends have my back, even when I am not a nice guy going through tobacco and nicotine withdrawls.
I now know my fight to become a non tobacco user is one i will win.
This past weekend my wife and I went to a movie and for the first time since the 90s I did not sneak in a spite cup or watch the whole move with a dip in and the thought never even crossed my mind . I now have a new thought about the whole quitting thing, in the beginning I was unable to see the resasons for quitting I knew but did not care I never thougt long term I never had a real reason to quit . It was my wife that gave me a reason and it was me that fought and won.
I also would like to thank this site and everyone on it for giving me a voice and a place to fight, a way to win. I know if in the first month I did not have this tool of a blog, the backing of all the members and the goal of getting that 100 day coin I would have given up.
I now think about tomorrow and make plans for the future which I never did before. Why make plans if you might end up with cancer? I can now go to a gas station and just get gas I now want to spend more time at home insead of looking for a reason to go for a drive to have a chew. I now know that when given a fight and a reason to win I can win.
To the quiters that came before me, thanks for your words, the pain you went through and for sharing it . It gave me hope knowing other people were able to quit, to the quiters that come after me you can do it, it has been done.
To me, three months ago, thanks for not giving up. To my family, to my kids that are not yet born, it was all for that dream to I quit to be a good dad and a good husband, and for me.