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Mablog

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Embracing the Suck

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maquit

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I saw a comment the other day about how you should never let a challenge slip away, because it is an opportunity to see yourself in a way you never have before. I started thinking of the "Suck" as a challenge it presents, and how I should embrace it, and not let it slip away. Each "Suck" for me now is new territory. We've all quit before and for different lengths. I've only ever been past the 6-month mark a twice. It's common belief, in the study of nicotine addiction, that the more times you quit, the more likely the next quit will be successful. The reason I see this as new personal territory, and not just as the same me quitting for more than 180 days, is that I'm older, "wiser", and simply better prepared for dealing with the "Suck". I'm also accountable to the many supporters here on the QSSN, and I make no claim to having any more power than being able to quit for today. I must admit that on occasion, I still must quit for the moment, as the nic-bitch is a sneaky old hag, and that is the best I can muster. I do feel like I'm in a bit of a fog, which for me, is a blanket of wispy "Suck" hovering over me for an extended period. I'm starting to believe my own press, thinking I've got my ducks in a row with this quit and that I can have a periodic dip on the golf course or doing yard work, but I know I can't. The dueling mindsets create the fog, not letting me focus on one path. It sucks, and I am embracing it, because I want to see myself in the new light of a strong and committed quitter. I think it will look good on me.

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