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DAY 4-5: Horrible; Then Better

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I quit dip November 27th, 2016


Day 4 was December 1st, 2016; and Day 5 was the subsequent 2nd of December.


Day 4 was pretty smooth. I was very busy yesterday - to the point in which I couldn't get people out of my office to catch up. I was busy enough to not find room to write a blog entry.


Everything was going very well; until I was prepping/packing for an upcoming event.


I encountered the hardest crave-attack I've ever experienced last night. It was overwhelming. My body and mind we screaming in unison to throw my decision to quit away at all costs and finally put a dip in once and for all.


My stress levels were high, but I fought it off. I was pacing and sweating and extremely uncomfortable. It finally began to subside and I went to sleep.


Today has been incredible (Day 5). I feel like I'm gaining mental control back and the physical withdrawals are starting to fade. My lip and mouth muscles are not twitching hardly at all anymore. This is the first morning I've woken up and not immediately thought about and/or felt the strong urge to put a dip in. I got up, brushed my teeth, and started my day (with a toothpick in, of course.)


I'm starting to develop a physical and mental HATE for smokeless tobacco.


Its crazy what my brain is doing because part of me feels like a good friend of mine that has kept me company for a long time has DIED, and it makes me sad.


But the other half of me loathes the idea of dipping altogether. The can, the dirtiness of it, the trail of dip I left everywhere, the lesions on my gums, the hard dependency, the planning I had to do when I was on the run, around family, etc., the "sick" cycle where I would be sick enough to not dip, but as soon as I was well, I jumped back into it, the dip ALL OVER my truck/vehicles, the anxiety I would have when I didn't have a can ready to go off the last pinch, the receding gums in the mirror and many more circumstances.


Dipping was fun, and I enjoyed it - but that was something I used to do. Its a dirty habit meant for someone else. I'm smart enough and tough enough to leave that behind. I'm clawing my way out of the woods and I can see the end of the treeline ahead. I still have obstacles; but I can see them. I'm planning on negotiating them, and I am anticipating them. Sure, a snake could come up, unforeseen. But the closer I get to the treeline, the stronger I become. As many POWs will say: "1,000 days of evasion are better that 1 day of captivity." Tobacco shackles you up, throws your ass in a box and throws away the key.


I also got a chance to (inadvertently) talk to a behavioral health psychologist - for those of you tuned in, years of behavioral health and psychological research went behind what I'm going to tell you here.


I told him what I was trying to do, and he empathized with my decision and approach SIGNIFICANTLY. He told me these important things about quitting tobacco:


1.) It is comparable to coming off of a severe cocaine addiction. Nicotine addiction is substantially stronger than a heroine addiction. (So, pat yourselves on the back - we are going through withdrawals (and trying to stay sane) similar to those coming off of heroine and cocaine).


2.) 2 weeks. Get to 2 weeks. Fight your ass off to get to 2 weeks quit. After that, your success rate goes up exponentially.


3.) This phrase: "You can quit, but you'll still want it your whole life." is garbage. Don't listen to it. You have to hate dip; you have to rearrange your thoughts, feelings and emotions about dip - you have to associate dip with the most repulsive, horrible thing you can imagine. You'll never want it again.


4.) Keep going and keep talking about it. There are people all around you that will help - put them to work.


Quit on, guys!



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