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Copewquitn

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Everything posted by Copewquitn

  1. Welcome Solace and congrats on your decision to quit. Your story is similar to my own in that I found this site while stumbling around the internet trying to figure out what I was going through. It didn't take long to realize that my experience followed a pretty common set of struggles and milestones. Click in with a current quit group and you'll find a lot of support. As you recognized, one day at a time is the only way to quit. If it helps however, here's a map of my experiences during the first 100 days. I'd say you're right on track! 1st Hunred Days... Week 1 Week 1 was 80% physical and 20% mental. Both mind and body were in a perpetual loop of gotta have nic/need nic/want nic/gotta have nic/need nic/want nic/..... My only defense was to dig in, lower my head to the task* and repeat to myself don't need it / I can do this / don’t' need it/ I can do this / don't need it / I can do this / don’t' need it/ I can do this... *lots of advice to be found on this: drink lots of water, take walks, deep breaths, get physical exercise, go to bed early, etc. I recommend two web sites to help guide the withdrawal process whyquit.com pei.lung.ca/withdrawl.html Week 2 this was much the same as week 1, except the ratio was reversed to 20% physical and 80% mental. You just need to keep fighting with the same tactics that worked in week 1. Weeks 2-4 This period was mainly a mental battle for me. I was past the physical withdrawal, but was constantly assaulted by triggers. Just keep fighting them off, using the same techniques that carried you through the first 2 weeks. Near the end of this period I developed a new set of craves which revolved around such theories as: - you proved you can quit when you need to, let's go back now - I bet you really can do just one. Come on, don't be a pussy. Try it. - Maybe we can chew for just another month, then pick this quit up again - What if we just dip til the end of salmon season? - Hey, the dentist gave us the thumbs up. We can chew for another 6 months to the next appt - So what's all this talk of "pre-cancerous" cells? Wow, there must be an early warning system. We can chew until we reach that - blah, blah, blah... all a bunch of lies. At the end of 4 weeks I began to feel I was in control. I had learned to prepare for trigger opportunities, and how to efficiently deal with craves. I had also learned to recognize new arguments from the addiction and dismiss them before they turned to real craves. Day 30 Woops, maybe I got a little cocky. Day 30 brought an intense crave that came about from some pretty standard stress at work. Nonetheless this crave dropped me to my knees. I mean I was almost crying at work. That is not me. Luckily I had the sense to get on line and search out some help from my quit group. Fortunately for me Norge was on line and he pulled me through. I was able to pass the nic shops on the way home from work and ended the day nic free. Thanks Norge! Day 50 I reflected upon my quit at this point and realized that I WAS in control. At the same time I recall feeling a bit depressed by admitting to myself that I had quit. I mean... I did it, and there was no turning back. I had beat the physical addiction and learned to control the mental addiction. Caving wasn't an option because I was in control now, and giving in would be an unacceptable failure. These observations showed me that I had truly given up my precious and that was depressing. With this started a period of mourning that lasted about a week or so. Intermingled with the mourning though was a desire to rise above it all and win. I accepted that I was an addict, and most importantly that it was my fault. However, I felt strongly that I needed to discover WHY I am an addict. Shortly afterward I returned to the depression and just felt tired of it all. I was tired of being a dipper, tired of trying to quit, tired of not having my precious nicotine, tired of posting on QS all the time, tired, tired, tired.... I just wanted to go back to my childhood and reunite with a time before my mind and body knew of nicotine. I wanted to go back to my tree house and daydream without the need for nicotine. Not possible however. I had two choices: 1)cave and forget all this quit agony, or 2) stay quit, wait awhile longer and get to a place where hopefully I'll become truly free. I chose option 2. (Option 1 just offers a temporary fix to a permanent problem) Somewhere in here I also had a period where I raged against everything. I was a very (VERY) angry individual. I think I discussed that in the link above. Day 50-80 For the most part this was a period of continued growth, increasing strength where I started to develop an identity as a non-dipper. Craves during this period were less frequent, but more intense from a perspective of emotional longing. The craves shifted from "I want it" to "I long for it, I desire it, I loved it, I miss it". I was dealing with a more raw form of the crave. They weren't the blind raging desire from the previous periods. Instead they had developed into subtle yet cunning emotional desires. Turning down the previous craves meant denying the desire for the moment. Turning down these craves meant accepting the fact that I needed to deny myself of nicotine now and forever. I wasn't just ignoring my precious now. I was killing it, and that hurt. On the other hand it wasn't really that hard. I was on cruise control and it was pretty easy to take my medicine (accepting the fact that nic would not re-enter my life) Day 80 The Funk. The Funked was absolutely unpleasant. It takes different forms for different people, but for me it was a death spiral of brooding self pity, despair, loneliness, depression, fear, anger, etc. Ironically it was touched off by a pretty simple set of circumstances. Kind of like setting a match to dried grass... poof and it was off in full force. This period lasted for 3 days. I was very depressed. I didn't want anything. Nothing. I didn't want tobacco. I didn't want a lack of tobacco. I didn't want to work. I didn't want to stay home. I didn't want to participate in QS. I didn't want to stop coming on line. Somehow this period superceded my quit, and the agony of quitting took a back seat to this new situation. I really don't feel I was at risk of caving during the 3 days. DURING being the operative word. Somehow I knew that my exit from this period would either lead me into a tin of tobacco, or put me on a path toward freedom. I desperately wanted NOT to return to tobacco, and the only thing I knew was to hang onto QS. I sank back into the shadows, blocked PMs, hid my name from being logged on, did not post roll, but I did come on and watch. I was lost in a dark and lonely sea and QS was the only lifeline I knew. I was still in the dark, but at least I had this connection to something. And I knew the other end was attached to the place I wanted to be. So I just hung on as a hermit. Finally something I saw on QS made me snap, and pull my head out. Thanks everybody...one of the truly amazing things about this site is that you never know who you may be helping with your words. So to summarize the funk, I came out. And I did so with the answers I was looking for back at day 50. Basically, "why am I an addict and what can I work on to stay on a clean path". Day 80-100 Cruise control, but became more at peace with the notion of being a non-user. Day 100 Outstanding. I thought about it that morning and realized that I had learned some huge lessons. My quit only starts here, but forever seems a much less daunting goal than it did 100 days ago.
  2. So am I to believe you feel Sesame St. ranks higher than the USMC? Just who the hell d'ya think protected your boats all these years? I mean God knows a buncha sailors couldn't get it done. Squids.... they'll never accept the simple fact that the Navy is a lower form of Marine life.
  3. Why Larry? And what are you gonna do to make this next quit stick? Look, as one who tanked a 4 year quit I'd be the kettle calling teh pot black were I to berate you. But truth be told I really thought you found ample motivation (much of which was quite painful btw) to make dip free your new norm. All's I can say is show me a day 1 so I can tell you "welcome back" <>P P.S. - busy as a one armed bookie w/ two telephones lately so don't get on here much. Feel free to call if you'd like!
  4. Good thing you're wise enough to realize the pain of dad w/ dip would far outweigh the pain of Red Pecker Syndrome! Grats to you for staying strong, and hope your ship rights itself soon.
  5. Welcome Jim. There's no predetermined formula, but one that always seems to work is.... - go check in w/ your quit group - get and stay involved - read/post/read/post/read/post til your fingers bleed and your eyes feel like sandpaper - wake up the next day and do it again. In all honesty, here's the two fundamental truths about quitting that ring true w/ every member of this board: 1. Quitting ain't easy. It's gonna cause some pain, and require some effort. 2. Quitting is absolutely worth the effort. You stick with it and I promise you'll find the freedom you came looking for. It may take awhile, but it'll knock your sox off when you find it. Stay strong bro, you can do this. One day at a time.... <>P
  6. Forget about your mouth. Think of your soul. Look here's the thing... I spend many years agonizing over the curiosity of when I'd have to quit. And finally one day I found myself standing in front of the mirror at 11:30 pm when it hit me.... either I quit tobacco now, or it will kill me. Period. In the days that followed I realized I do not want to pass into eternity chasing an uncheckedd addiction. And from there I decided to free myself. Look bro, your mouth will heal in short order. Your spirit is gonna take a little longer to accept the notion of freedom, but trust me... it is absolutely worth every bit of effort. Stay Strong, <>P
  7. I'll let you in on a little secret.... you'll never wake up tomorrow thinking "gee I wish I caved yesterday". You remember that on top of what you wrote, and I guarantee you'll find the freedom you came looking for. One day at a time bro, one day at a time...
  8. pretty sage advice if you ask me.
  9. I hope to see you quit and post up. Saturday is good but today is better. If you start today you will be three days up by Saturday. Regardless, most of quitting is mental. Set your mind and do what you need to do to keep it out of your mouth. It isn't hope that keeps you quit but mental toughness and will power. This addiction is hard to kick and it takes determination, a positive mental attitude. If you have your mind right, you can quit. This site will give you a ton of support and knowledge you can use to give you a better chance at quitting. I hope that by writing that in public you really do commit to quitting on Sat. Reason I say so is tha I had a plan to quit Sat for about 10 years. Yep, every week went basically like this.... - Mon, I'm quitting on teh way to work. That's it. Toss the dip and woops... Mondays are too stressful, i'll buy a can at lunch and taper down in prep for a weekend quit. - Tue-Fri, I'd manage go taper back up from 1/2 a can to 2 cans a day. - Fri; who am I kidding? I can't quit on the weekend. I'll have one last dipfest andquit onMonday. - I'd chew about 3 cans a day in hopes of quitting on Monday. - Monday came around and it was teh same miserable realization of failed dreams. It never got better until I flat out quit. So if you're really gonna quit Saturday, then cool. But if you're lying to yourself, then what's it gonna take for you to finally grab the reigns of freedom?
  10. Sure, we have plenty of suggestions. First, scroll down just a little and read Donnie's response to Nummah. Then keep scrolling down and reading. Go back a page and read that, then back another page. Go to the quit groups and read the posts of the newest quit group, so you know what you can expect when you actually quit. Read the HOF speeches and other member articles. The answer to pretty much any question you ever had can be found somewhere on this site, because we've all been in your shoes and know what it's like to successfully quit using smokeless tobacco. Take it one day at a time, even one hour at a time if necessary. After about 3 days, the nicotine will be out of your system and many of the physical withdrawal symptoms will dissipate. But overcoming the mental cravings is a process that will most likely take many months or even years. Drink lots of water or juice early on to flush the nicotine out of your system. Exercise, if possible, during bad craves. Be very active on the website and get to know your fellow quit group members in September 2010, since they (like you) will reach their 100th day without tobacco during the month of September. Though everyone is free to post here in the Cafe, your quit group is an excellent place to post or read other member's questions about quitting. Stay strong and keep on quitting! 1- HOF speeches 2- look at the pics of what happens if you keep doing it 3- keep reading what you see on this site 4- ask yourself why you would continue to put a rotten knuckle of dirt in your mouth This is just a start. This is where I go whenever I have ever thought of a cave. And here I am, with the January, 2010 Jerkwads, 8 months without it. Who wouldhve thunk it. Dont do it.. Be smart and cool like the rest of us. Dont put it in your mouth. It stinks, its dangerous, and its gross. And your better half is proud of you without it. Dont. Just dont. My suggestion is: a) don't dip today b ) when you wake up tomorrow realize two things 1. you didn't wake up thinking "gee, I sure wish I caved yesterday" 2. if I managed to stay quit yesterday, ain't no reason I can't repeat that today. Tell you what lil bro.... one day at a time is the only way you're gonna beat this thing. Trust me.... I know it aint easy. But I also know that if you use the support found in this site, you'll develop the skills, courage, and confidence to stay quit for the long term. Stay Strong, one day at a time...
  11. Grats there 7. So how's your 9 iron doing? My PW is great. 4 years eh? That's fricking awesome!! Time goes by quickly eh?
  12. That is one of the coolest, most helpful things I have ever seen on this site. I wish I'd thought of it. PLEASE post this in the cafe and the newer quit groups! Pretty cool indeed. A little advice... don't get feaked out if the curve trends back upward in the near future. Reason being a lot of folks hit a funk around the 50-70 zone. If you hit it, just dig in to stay quit and it'll go away. Stay Strong
  13. Don't know if he can do anything about it, but you should send a PM to Flavious Victor. You can also find him in the 020304 old timer's thread. He's the big daddy creator of the site. Grats on your 11 days by the way. That's a great start to a fantastic new life. You'll have a few challenges along the path to freedom but trust me... every day you stay clean is so worth the effort. Stay Strong
  14. I can't help but nitpick you on this one... it only takes one day to live a normal life. That'd be the day you hit bottom, say "I quit", and start living the rest of your life nic free. But I do understand what you're saying. It does take time. Here's what I recall in brief outline form... Day 100 - I did it! Day 150 - WTF was/is it? I still feel like crap sometimes. Day 365 (1yr) - Holy cow, I've made a complet cycle around the sun. Things must be normal now. Day 400ish - How come I still long for it sometimes? Day 730 (2 yr) - yeah that's it... true separation All the days since then... dip is so far in the rear view mirrot it doesn't concern me. Sure, I'm just one stupid mistake away from falling into the trap, but I feel no temptation to do so.
  15. I don't claim to be over those type of feelings yet but can tell you at 250 days they are much less then they were even 50 days ago. It doesn't really bother me to see a person buy a can or carry a can. I was at a Christmas party last week and had a friend take a dip in front of me. I'm pleased to say that I wasn't even tempted to ask him for one, nor did it really bother me that he had it out. I'm still not at the stage that I don't think about it, and at times I still have some craves but they have become much less intense over the last couple of months. This quit has gotten easier every week and I feel the progress. Just know the feelings you feel will fade with time and the day will come when it become easy to fight off the craves and the "that's not fair" feelings. I know that feeling, but it's been a long time since I've felt it. For awhile it was replaced w/ a contrary feeling that it was unfair anybody was willing to sell me that stuff in the first place. Now I don't have any feelings toward it. Well except of course that I'm just one bad mistake and $5.00 (ok, it's been awhile, adjust for inflation if necessary) away from falling into the trap all over again. But that's not gonna happen. One day at a time...
  16. James, I find it a bit ironic that your post is directly after OTH. You should scroll down one and read his words. Look, here's the thing... In all honesty I can say that I packed at least 2500 "last dips". The frustrating part of it was that I never found that one dip to end it all. The moment finally came to me one night as I stood in front of the mirror inspecting a spot on my gums. In that moment I realized either I would kill tobacco, or it would kill me. period... fucking period. no questions allowed. no questions answered. period. In that instant, and in that instant only, I knew the power was mine to choose between freedom or death by addiction. I faced God, listend to his forecast, and chose wisely. I hope you do the same. btw, I have a 22 month old beautiful daughter, and in the past few months I've really noticed how much of a copy-cat she's become. Each time I watch her mimick my behavior I can't help but to thank God that I no longer shove that crap in my face. Today may well be your day James. You gonna grab the reins of freedom, or you gonna let those horses run on by? You can do this if you want to, and we're here to help you.
  17. I am still eatting Turkey...it's still the Holiday weekend!!!! "can you pass some more greenbean cassarole? and the pie!!! pass me another piece of pie! Me too. We're down to about the last of it. Making soup tonight, and then there's just about enough meat left for a few sandwiches. I've got about 1/2 each of an apple and a pumpkin pie. It's all yours if you want it. Next weekend I eat pork!
  18. It's unreasonable to expect one person to quit for another. And similarly, it's rubbish to think that one person's cave is caused by another. We all are sole proprietors of our own caves and quits. Here a simple two point plan: 1. one tell your buddy to quit passing the buck for his own failure and man up with some accountability 2. quit wishing you hadn't caved, and get busy quitting if that's what you really want. Y'all gotta stop looking to each other for justification to continue dipping, and start living your own life. Or maybe go read the Tom Kern story and revisit your objectives. The choice is yours, but keep in mind that tobacco plays for keeps. The only way you'll win is to stop. period.
  19. What about a running list of... Catchy phrases Just don't put it in your mouth. Simple. Not easy I promise you won't wake up tomorrow thinking "gee I wish I caved yesterday".
  20. Great start, congrats! You ready for assignment #2? Here goes.... retrieve those cans, dump the contents into the toilet, flush it, rinse the cans, and then stomp the daylights out of them. Wifey can fill in for you w/ the 4 at home on this one. I know it may sound like overkill, but trust me... most of the folks on this board were not above rummaging through the trash for a few last precious grains. The more you can do to distance yourself from temptation the better. Anyhow, congrats again on a fresh start toward a new life.
  21. Happy Birthday to all my fellow Marines out there, and God bless those still in service!
  22. The only advise I can really offer is to dump the contents of your can, rinse it, post up day one and start living. You're gonna experience much along the way, and you'll probably even learn a few things about yourself too. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Especially when you look back and realize your chidren have long since dropped their desires to be just like daddy and pack a fatty in their lips. So come on in and get busy quitting. There's tons of folks here to help you and the price of admission is simply for you to say "I quit".
  23. Folks that have been on this site a lot longer than me have said that nicotine inhibits your emotions to a certain point. You are prolly still training your brain to function as a real person without nicotine. I would start by talking with them about it and maybe going to talk to some outside people - councilors, pastors, friends, etc. See if your friends notice a difference. I was a real beast around my family for a couple months. Some folks deal with chemical changes in their bodies differently. I'd just make an honest attempt to be nice and happy to your family. There are a few doctors that are on this site, perhaps they can be of more help than me. It's pretty normal to experience some pretty foul moods and behavior changes for a few months. You need to go through all the phases of separating nic as a component of your life, and it takes us humans about 3 months to reset our behavior. So there you have it... 100 days is more than just a nice round number. Hang in there one day at a time and I promise things will return to normal.
  24. Mudlift. Great choice to quit! You came to a great place for help as well. You will find many tools to help you, but the first thing you need to know is that you are an addict. Just like any other drug, you are an addict. That means that "Just one" can't happen anymore. All you have to do is get through today. You started yesterday, so today is day 2 for you. The day you decide to quit, is your day 1. So congrats on getting to day 2! In here, we make a promise that today we are not dipping. We call this posting roll call. Click here for instructions on how to post roll call. You will hit 100 days quit sometime in January, so you will be in the January 2010 Hall of Fame class. Hall of fame is the name we use for being quit 100 days. Click here to get to your group. To me, the best tool that has kept me from caving is accountability. We take posting roll very seriously here. It is a promise you make to the people in your group as well as the rest of the folks on this site. You don't post roll for the future. Right now, don't even think about quitting for tomorrow, just quit for today. Anyone can get through one day of no nicotine, even me. Even you. Get to know the people in your quit group. Get to know them by first name. When you are comfortable, exchange phone numbers. Most of the guys you see on here with 500, 1000, 2000 days quit behind them have been in a tight spot where they wanted to cave, but remembered that they made the promise, and made a phone call to a quit brother/sister. Be prepared. The next few days are going to suck. Keep your mind, mouth, body occupied. If you are able to completely absorb yourself in work and not have contact with coworkers, that may be good. If not, and you are able, take a few days off. Work out, jog, do pushups - the endorphines that your body releases will be helpful. You may also be eating more than usual, so the excersise may help there too. Get something to keep your mouth occupied too. Personally, I chose fake dip. It worked best for me. Smokey Mountain Chew is good, and there is a link at the top of the page for Hooch Snuff. It doesnt taste exactly like dip, but the texture may help take the edge off. If you dont want to go that route, try hard candy, sunflower seeds, straws, toothpicks, or one that a lot of folks swear by, cotton balls dipped in mouthwash. Avoid caffiene and alcohol - nicotine reduces the affects of caffiene, so it is going to affect you even more now that you have quit. Alcohol of course reduces your inhibitions and many caves have resulted from a bender. There are some sayings that are used here. They are simple yet profound. Quitting is simple, but not easy - Dont buy it, dont bum it, dont put it in your mouth. One day at a time You will never wake up and say, "I wish I would have caved last night" Every time you cave, Truckerick kills a kitten. - no wait - you arent ready for that one yet... Go to your quit group and introduce yourself. It has taken you 31 years to get to this point. Don't waste this opportunity. A lot of people get to this site and ask for help, then never come back. Are you going to be that guy, or are you gonna be looking back at 10/20/09 as the smartest decision you have ever made? Welcome Mud and congrats on your decision to quit. I'd have to agree w/ everything Ohio said. Especially the part about not waking up thinking, "gee I wish I'd caved yesterday". It's the God's honest truth that will never happen. That first hour of every morning is one of great accomplishment. And if you stayed quit yesterday, well then... there ain't no reason why you can't do it again for just one more day. Stay strong bro, it's worth it. One day at a time...
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