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tm-va

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Everything posted by tm-va

  1. I will take a stab at answering your questions from my point of view. Brief summary of my story: started dipping around 17 or 18 in HS. went on and off (mostly on) for about 21 or 22 years. ninja dipped (or i thought I was) once i got married in 96. set quit dates for graduate college, graduate law school, take bar exam, pass bar exam, birth of all three of my kids. hit rock bottom 08.30.2009 (wife caught me with dip on fingers and in teeth, again). much drama. ended up having to call my parents and my siblings (both doctors, one an ENT) at wife's insistence cause she could not help me and she needed help dealing with it from them. if I did not call, she would. came back to QSSN after failing earlier in 2009. 2056 days later I still try to post most days to quit for today. What drove you to quit? See above. my rock bottom was truly when my wife said to me I trust you in everything implicitly except when it comes to tobacco. How did you start your quit, cold turkey or cutting down? Cold Turkey. It sucks ass. the first few days are hell. you can get through it. lots of articles on here about the stages of the quit journey in the first 100 days. How did you choose a quit date? just did it. no taper. my advice to you is if you really want to quit. no time like the present. there are always going to be stressors in your life to put off quitting. that is mere justification and your addiction to nicotine speaking. I can't do it now because of X. those never go away. just do it. How did you receive help from your friends? I came here. this place is unique in that you go through the first stages with your group and are supported by men and women who have gone through exactly what you are/will go through. they know what its like. they understand the craves, the rage, the fog cause they have done or are doing exactly what you are doing. plus I had told people so many times I was quitting it had become a joke. How did you deal with the side effects of quitting and still be able to perform at work or school? you suck it up and do it. there are ways to deal with the withdrawal. for me it was a lot of exercise, a lot of water, stuffing my face with crappy food, etc. one thing I did a lot of was put a green tea bag where dip used to go. it satisfied the oral fixation for me long after the nicotine is actually out of your system. that's the thing, the physical side is over quickly (relatively speaking), its the mental side that can F you up. I really just want to know how to start because it is my time to end this habit and I am terrified of the side effects but I need the final result. for me it was just hitting that rock bottom moment of my wife saying she did not trust me. that did it. the big thing that that forced me to do was to admit to myself that I was completely and utterly addicted to nicotine. that was hard. don't let pride get in the way of that step. I think it was necessary for me to do that. Also, do not quit for someone else, quit for yourself. that way when the shit hits the fan you won't have what like to call the Fuck It/You Dip (i.e. getting pissed off or in an argument and you say, well F you, I did this for you, so I'll show you, I will start dipping again since i never really wanted to quit in the first place). There is no time like today to quit. Quit for today only. Wake up tomorrow. Decide then if you quit for today as well. tm - 2056
  2. your goal is not to quit for life, it is to quit for today and today only, then decide to do it again the next day. the result could be being quit for life, but each and every day you need to decide to be quit for one 24 hour period (and if you sleep 6-8 hours a night it's actually only consciously quitting for 16-18 hours). Re hiding from your wife, I speak from hard experience here, she knows. you may think you have been ninja, so did I, but they know. tm - 2035
  3. "...The gist is that caving is not a single act. It is a series of little actions leading to the full cave. After each action we have the choice of saying "Screw You Nic Bitch!" So it isn't as simple as "caving" it is a complicated series of mistakes, at least 11: 1. Deciding to get dip 2. Getting into the car 3. Driving to the store 4. Parking at the store 5. Getting out of car 6. Walking into the store 7. Purchasing dip 8. Exit store 9. Open can 10. Grab a pinch 11. Putting pinch into mouth. So, "caving" is no simple act. It actually is a complicated series of actions strung together like beads on a string. Before or during any one of these acts, we have the power to say NOT THIS TIME...."
  4. tm-va

    The Cafe - 2012

    I am 996 days into this quit and I still have not earned all the trust back from years of lying about dipping to my wife. I am not sure it will ever happen to be honest and I don't blame her. I lied so often, so comfortably and without blinking an eye. about 200 days in she randomly checked my teeth, smelled the fingers, etc. I had not shown her the contract to give up, but I took it out of my wallet told her to read and said if I ever caved she would have a signed copy of it. I also showed her I use it as a bookmark in my commute books, it is in each car that we own in the glove compartment, and that I have phone numbers in my phone for people on this site I can text or call. Does she trust me completely re dip? I hope, but again don't blame her if she doesn't
  5. Glad you are here, now it is time to make this quit stick. #1 - Get over to the May 2011 group and post roll call. Don't worry about getting the post right. Get your name there. Those of us that have been around look for the new quitters there first. That is the place for support. There are already three new quitters and they would love to share misery with you. #2 - Stick around here and read, post, rant, rave, read, post #3 - Determine in your heart that there is nothing that can compel you to dip. Then make it happen. #4 - Post some more #5 - Congratulate yourself on being quit so long already #6 - Post again #7 - Embrace the Suck. You will never have to go through it again. This is the last time you will ever have to feel this crappy because of your nicotine addiction #8 - Have you posted yet and started to get to know your fellow quitters? #9 - Get involved here. The more involved you are, the more people get to know about you, the more you trust your fellow quitters, the more your fellow quitters trust you - the harder it is to cave. #10 - Keep quitting - no matter what. Ditto all of that. Brother fershigadig, you have found the right place. This is the only quit site/group that caters exclusively to dippers. We all know what you are talking about. There are people on this site that have been quit for hours and people that have been quit for years. We are all here and ready to support each other. Go to the May quit group and post. As a Marine you know how a team works. The same concept can apply here. The group supports the one and the one supports the group. Post up and promise your quit brothers that you will not dip today. Tomorrow do the same thing. It sucks but it can be done. Embrace the suck. You have jumped out of airplanes, for Christ's sake! You can do this. dipped for 22 years or so. have found that putting a green tea bag where the dips used to go very helpful with the oral habit of having something in your lip. tm-va 513
  6. I found that putting a green tea bag where the dip used to go to be very helpful with the oral habit of having something in your lip. Still use them 513 days after quitting. You can do this. tm-va
  7. You do not really sound like you want to quit. Nothing wrong with quitting for someone else, but the primary person should be yourself in my opinion. If you have been here before then join the quit group that fits your quit date and post up. Good luck. Youre right. I dont. Wish i had a dip right now....its not as bad as last night, and i havent had any of the gum in about 4 hours, but dang im drinking and have a pizza coming right now!!! lol. And i dont have to drive to get to a store that sells snuff. Last time, i was really sick of dipping. I didnt get any pleasure. Im not at that point now. Im basically doing it so my wife wont drive me nuts. I dont remember my "1st quit date" ..but im guessing 2001 or so. I could find out, but it was drag up a negative memory for a friend..lol. Besides...shouldnt it be Hall of Shame? Or do you mean my NEW quit date? Im guess thats what u mean. But seriously...these forums are Effed up. They make no sense in their layout, and no im not an interweb noob. Why not a have a regular forum, with topics...not one long stupid, fucking thread. I think what you may be looking for is just the general board area, not the cafe area. The way I get there is 1. quitsmokeless.org 2. click live chat on the left. 3. members only community is where you would find the most recent quit group and all of the others as well (and that is what I was referring to) 4. There are lots of other areas of topics as well to peruse. Hall of Fame or Shame? Makes absolutely no difference to me what its called to be honest, but if you want to call it hall of shame go for it. As you have admitted if you are not ready then quitting for someone else solely will likely not work. I hope it works for you if you decide to quit though. Good luck. let me be clear....Hall of Shame refers to me having quit so long ago only to relapse...shameful. I think i found what your talking about...HoF April 2010....is this it? http://forum.qssn.org/index.php?showtopic=936&st=0 too be honest, sifting thru multiple pages of jokes about Cleveland Steamers does me no good. Hey, you want to have a thread about Cleveland Steamers, fine with me, but why should everyone have to deal with that to get to a topic that interests them...my point is the thread structure isnt very logical. I stand by that....or maybe im still missing it. Not even sure what a cleveland steamer is. guess I will have to either wade through the pages in the April 10 group or google it (not sure i want to here a work though). I personally view this site is a tool to use. Take from it and return what you wish. I have found it helpful in what I hope is the last time I quit (never been this long before in the past 20 or so years). I think this guy is yanking everyone's chain. maybe so, but I did see him post in the April 10 group (where there are clearly some rage issues going on). Serenity, noticed you live/are from Huber Heights, I lived in Ketterinig for about 3 years.
  8. You do not really sound like you want to quit. Nothing wrong with quitting for someone else, but the primary person should be yourself in my opinion. If you have been here before then join the quit group that fits your quit date and post up. Good luck. Youre right. I dont. Wish i had a dip right now....its not as bad as last night, and i havent had any of the gum in about 4 hours, but dang im drinking and have a pizza coming right now!!! lol. And i dont have to drive to get to a store that sells snuff. Last time, i was really sick of dipping. I didnt get any pleasure. Im not at that point now. Im basically doing it so my wife wont drive me nuts. I dont remember my "1st quit date" ..but im guessing 2001 or so. I could find out, but it was drag up a negative memory for a friend..lol. Besides...shouldnt it be Hall of Shame? Or do you mean my NEW quit date? Im guess thats what u mean. But seriously...these forums are Effed up. They make no sense in their layout, and no im not an interweb noob. Why not a have a regular forum, with topics...not one long stupid, fucking thread. I think what you may be looking for is just the general board area, not the cafe area. The way I get there is 1. quitsmokeless.org 2. click live chat on the left. 3. members only community is where you would find the most recent quit group and all of the others as well (and that is what I was referring to) 4. There are lots of other areas of topics as well to peruse. Hall of Fame or Shame? Makes absolutely no difference to me what its called to be honest, but if you want to call it hall of shame go for it. As you have admitted if you are not ready then quitting for someone else solely will likely not work. I hope it works for you if you decide to quit though. Good luck. let me be clear....Hall of Shame refers to me having quit so long ago only to relapse...shameful. I think i found what your talking about...HoF April 2010....is this it? http://forum.qssn.org/index.php?showtopic=936&st=0 too be honest, sifting thru multiple pages of jokes about Cleveland Steamers does me no good. Hey, you want to have a thread about Cleveland Steamers, fine with me, but why should everyone have to deal with that to get to a topic that interests them...my point is the thread structure isnt very logical. I stand by that....or maybe im still missing it. Not even sure what a cleveland steamer is. guess I will have to either wade through the pages in the April 10 group or google it (not sure i want to here a work though). I personally view this site is a tool to use. Take from it and return what you wish. I have found it helpful in what I hope is the last time I quit (never been this long before in the past 20 or so years).
  9. You do not really sound like you want to quit. Nothing wrong with quitting for someone else, but the primary person should be yourself in my opinion. If you have been here before then join the quit group that fits your quit date and post up. Good luck. Youre right. I dont. Wish i had a dip right now....its not as bad as last night, and i havent had any of the gum in about 4 hours, but dang im drinking and have a pizza coming right now!!! lol. And i dont have to drive to get to a store that sells snuff. Last time, i was really sick of dipping. I didnt get any pleasure. Im not at that point now. Im basically doing it so my wife wont drive me nuts. I dont remember my "1st quit date" ..but im guessing 2001 or so. I could find out, but it was drag up a negative memory for a friend..lol. Besides...shouldnt it be Hall of Shame? Or do you mean my NEW quit date? Im guess thats what u mean. But seriously...these forums are Effed up. They make no sense in their layout, and no im not an interweb noob. Why not a have a regular forum, with topics...not one long stupid, fucking thread. I think what you may be looking for is just the general board area, not the cafe area. The way I get there is 1. quitsmokeless.org 2. click live chat on the left. 3. members only community is where you would find the most recent quit group and all of the others as well (and that is what I was referring to) 4. There are lots of other areas of topics as well to peruse. Hall of Fame or Shame? Makes absolutely no difference to me what its called to be honest, but if you want to call it hall of shame go for it. As you have admitted if you are not ready then quitting for someone else solely will likely not work. I hope it works for you if you decide to quit though. Good luck.
  10. You do not really sound like you want to quit. Nothing wrong with quitting for someone else, but the primary person should be yourself in my opinion. If you have been here before then join the quit group that fits your quit date and post up. Good luck.
  11. All I know and remember is it was the fall of 1987 the first time I tried a dip and I did not stop until August 31, 2009. I did not stop for almost 22 years. Over the course of that time I had many failed (actually I would have to say half-hearted in retrospect) attempts to quit dipping. For example, when I graduated college, when I went to law school, when I got engaged, when I got married, passed the bar exam, the birth of my 3 children, and the list goes on and on. I tried quitting when my wife asked me to when oldest child was 2 and just before my middle child was born. Did not work. I simply became more ninja about the dipping and continued on (for example, only when driving alone; coming up with errands to run on almost a nightly basis so I could drive and dip; buying bacc off or smokey mountain, dumping the contents and putting in cope or grizzly so I could do it when driving with my wife or kids, etc.). The true quitting process began for me about this time last year when I found this site. I joined the April 2009 HOF class (the unfockables) for only a couple days and washed out. I even got PMs from some of those guys and just ignored them or responded and said I was doing it on my own. I did not take the quit seriously yet. I had been slowly cutting back some over the summer of 2009 and finally decided I was going to give quitting a go again. Then, my wife smelled it on me and said she was going to search the car. I knew I was caught (again) because I had failed to take the can out of my car and stash it in the usual hiding place in my garage (a folded up third row seat from our old Suburban). I told my wife not to go out there and ultimately admitted I was still dipping (this was after promising in about May 2009 I was quitting). My wife at that point said “whatever we are doing about this is not working, and I cannot help you on my own.” If I did not call my parents and siblings (both of whom are doctors, one an ENT) then she was. I called everyone, and for the first time in 22 years admitted to myself, my wife and my family that I was completely and utterly addicted to nicotine and needed help. That is what it took for me to really beat this thing on a daily basis for the past 127 days. I had to admit to myself that I was an addict; that my ass was being kicked by the tobacco leaf; and I needed help. Making the admission to my family was secondary to the need to admit to myself that I was addicted. I got back on this site and joined the DipCanners on August 31, 2009. The process absolutely sucked. There was nothing easy about the first 30 to 45 days or so. I had huge craves, rage, fog, sleeplessness, etc. I battled against craves by using tea bags where normally a dip would be (I still do this on long drives and when I get craves to this day). I acted like a complete dickhead to my wife and kids and picked fights and was just downright mean to them for a while. Then, it passed and it became easier. I cannot pinpoint a specific day in the last 127 that it happened but it did (and for anyone else reading this and in the process of quitting, it will). I am proud that I have gone this far one day at a time and plan on continuing to wake up in the morning and make a promise to myself not to dip today. To all the DipCanners (the 7 or 8 of us who made it through to 100 days and the ones that joined but dropped out) and the supporters, I thank you. All of you have read rants and provided support without conditions. I would not have made it this far, without it. tmaiberger - 01/05/2010
  12. Well, Let's just go all the way! Don't play with it. I'm going to whisk you away to a deserted island. There is no tobacco there. You just washed up on shore. Oh my Gawd!! Whatever shall I do? Uh... how bout making a living?, taking care of your family?, building a shelter?, catching some food?...... I think you get the point. I don't believe in "half measures" (that's for you SM) Take the bull by the horns and be somebody. We don't need tobacco to live! "The World According to Truckerick" Welcome aboard, Sooner. Sounds like you have a leg up on most of us, having experienced year-long quits before. Many of us got here because of the concerns of family members; though to my knowledge, no one has ever had a successful quit if they were quitting for a wife or kids. Most of the winners here came to the realization that they had to quit for themselves and only themselves. That works for most, but it didn't for me. Cancer never scared me, and I never suffered any other serious consequences from dipping, so I couldn't be frightened into a quit. When the time came, I quit out of gratitude to God. Whatever your reason, it's OK to be anxious. This time you have an army on your side with every quitting weapon known to man at your disposal. And TR is one of those "Special Forces" types that will cross a mine field under heavy fire to retrieve a live grenade - if it will help you quit. Why wait until 12/31/2009? If you have already decided to quit, give yourself an early Christmas present and quit today, that way by New Years Eve you will already have almost two weeks of quit under your belt. No time like the present.
  13. Does anyone know when/if the HOF coins will be made available for order? Or if they are available, how do I order one? Also, relative to below and the discussion re killthecan and to "stay away from it", just curious, why? not knowing any of the history, were this site and the other ever the same and there was some kind of split?
  14. Hooked, I know what you mean about concentration. I'm a computer programmer and concentration is a big deal for me as well. I did quit cold turkey, but I used the herbal chew Smokey mountain. as well as cotton balls with Listerine on them. None of this helped with the nic withdrawals but it did wonders for the oral fixation. I used the herbal chew just like I used to use dip for the first 2 weeks and then started to pull myself away from the herbal chew. I won't lie it tastes like shit but then again dip didn't taste any better. I also drank coffee by the gallons! Always had this site up in the background on the computer and when I got overwhelmed with the craves I came hear and read all the posts that I could. Just remember it does get easier but it is never easy I'm only at day 38 and I still crave daily but most of them I can fight off now. occasionally I still use the herbal chew. Anything to keep you quit is okay just don't dip!!! I say if it will keep you off that shit then your winning! I also went as far as telling my mother in law (who lives with me) to help me and she treated me like a suspect by making me empty my pockets when I came home from the store and had my kids search my truck. If you need to talk to someone you can pm me and I'll give you my phone # and I'm sure others here will too. Just remember the next time that you have a crave and all the reasons for you to quit quitting are running through your head, that you only have to quit for that minute and when that minute passes repeat quitting for that minute. I know sounds simple, but it does work! I didn't believe it either I just blindly trusted the veterans of this site. It works man and you feel great once you get through that crave and succeed. I've only known one feeling in my life that was better and that was when my kids were born. If you have kids then they are the greatest motivation in the world to stay quit!!!! I did SMC too. Weaned myself off of it 3 months ago then 2 days ago bought a couple cans because that is what I was craving... something in my lip. Wife thinks it may lead to dipping again, but I'm not after nicotine. I'm at day 203 and it's still one day at a time though, just like those that are at day 2000. Whatever it takes to keep NB at bay. Its easier today than yesterday, but 20 years of dipping is a whole lot more than 200 days quit. It would be so easy to get back into it, but that is not an option today. (Hey, I'm a poet and didn't even... realize it!_ Ok I am having the concentration problems now also I have sat down to write the paper I need to have done by Sat four times now and cant sit still long enough to write it I am about halfway done but just when I get going good I just find myself off doing something else I think I have adult ADHD off of nicotine. The "fog" does eventually lift. I also do a lot of writing, reading documents and oral presentations. The fog for me lasted only a couple days, but concentration was possible though fleeting at times. Suffering through a bit of fog is worth it though. TM
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