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Everything posted by rwm3892

  1. To add on to what Capt, Kirk says above... Lurkers, you didn't find this site by accident. You probably came here after reading the great stuff on http://www.quitsmokeless.org/ . Most of us here did. We were searching because we were desperate to quit. We read the stories and we felt hope that we too could conquer this terrible addiction. If you were like us and need the daily accountability and support. You can register and post day 1 right after dumping and flushing all your stash and making the promise that your love/hate affair with dip is over. What is the Quit Smokeless Community? We are an online support group of mostly men, but women are equally welcome too, who are kicking our addiction to smokeless tobacco on a daily basis. If you were like us and need the daily accountability and support, then my best advice is don't wait. You can register and post day 1 right after dumping and flushing all your stash and making the promise that your love/hate affair with dip is over. Nicotine is not allowed. No cigars, cigarettes, vapes, non-tobacco nicotine-containing dip, no NRT. You cannot fight a nicotine addiction with nicotine. What is a Quit Group? We organize ourselves according to the month we will reach our first 100 days quit. For instance, if you quit on 5/27/2019 , you would reach 100 days quit on the 3rd of September. Thus you would belong to the September 2019 Quit Group. You will belong to that group if you quit anywhere between these dates: 5/25/2019 - 06/23/2019. To join this group all you have to do is quit dipping and post Roll Call. 1) To get there, go to --> Home --> Quit Groups (Members Only) -->Pre-Hall of Famers -->September 2019 -->Roll Call OR 2) Click the shortcut link: https://forum.qssn.org/index.php?/topic/2851-roll-call/ How it works: Post roll call daily. This is your promise to yourself and us that you will not use nicotine in any form for the rest of the day. Simply add your name and your day count. Come back tomorrow and repeat your promise. How to post roll call: Go to the bottom of the last page (if multiple pages), to the very last post, then... 1) On a PC 1. Do NOT click on the "quote button" 2. Highlight the entire last post starting with "If you quit between (insert date) - (insert date) this is your quit group" all the way through the last person to post under supporters. 3. Either right click on the highlighted area and click "copy" or the "Ctrl" key and the letter "C" at the same time. 4. At the bottom of the page (below the fat blue bar with page numbers on it and below the very last post) is a blank box for a new post (says "reply to this topic"). Place cursor in this box and right click "paste" or "ctrl" and "V" at the same time. 5. Go to the middle of your post where it says "quitters" add your name, quit days and comments then click "submit reply". You do need to do a little editing of the date, and deleting of previous quitters and supporters if you are the first to post for the new day. It takes a little patience but once you learn it it's quick and easy 2) (On a phone) Use your phone's touch screen copy and paste functions to do what is described above. It might need some practice. It's easier to do than it is to explain. The only mistake you can make is to not post your promise posted. You'll get the hang of it.
  2. You're right. What we've been doing has has not been successful. We've been brainstorming on how to improve that. Change has been a little on the slow side.
  3. Welcome back. Your experience sends a huge message to those who start to feel cured after so many hundred days. I need the daily accountability for the rest of my life, ODAAT of course. Post roll call, make your promise, keep your promise, repeat. We're having trouble getting first-time newbies here. Most of the newcomers now were previous oldtimers. Many of them fell back into the trap the same way you did. The site is not as bustling as it has been. It is what it is, but the basic principles are still here, and you can get the support you need. PM me and I will send you my phone #. You can summon someone by placing a @ before their name, ala @Flavius Victor
  4. Ladies and Gentlemen, I have heard moans and complaints that using the site is difficult, especially while using a phone. Here is the good news: Despite what you've heard, this site is MUCH easier than it used to be, especially on a phone, I promise! I am going to post two YouTube tutorials on how to use the 'copy and paste' function for two types of phones: iPhone and Android. Copy and paste is really all you really need to know! Don't worry about using the Quote tools. You don't need to use them...forget about them for now. Copy and paste is all you need to know on your laptop or desktop too, but I'm assuming you already know how to use those functions (hint: on laptops or desktops use CTRL + C to copy text, and CTRL V to paste). If you are posting roll call on a phone or laptop/desktop: 1) Go to the bottom of the last page of the thread you are posting roll call to; copy all the text (& pics) from the last post. 2) Paste the copied text into the box at the bottom of the page where it says 'Reply to this topic...' 3) Edit the text however you want BEFORE you hit 'Submit Reply' . The videos below show you how to copy and paste with the two main types of phones (it's actually easier than depicted in these videos because you don't have to open or close apps, you just copy the last post and paste in the 'Reply to this topic...' box at the bottom of the page. iPhone Android
  5. rwm3892

    Quitters Wanted

    March 3, 2019 This is not a dead site. We are an active community of people who have quit smokeless tobacco. Our mission is to provide a support network for those who want to quit. Anybody who wants to quit is welcome. If you are thinking about quitting, you can register, read, ask questions, look around as much as you like. You can remain anonymous. If you know you want to quit, I would suggest you jump in today. You can quit this instant. Why wait? Do not give your addict-self a chance to talk you out of it. It's simple and works like this: 1. Find your quit group (the newest one is currently http://forum.qssn.org/index.php?/forum/259-june-2019/). 2. Type in your name (handle), and promise not to use today. We add our days quit just to keep track, but we are all equally getting through one day without using. 3. Do the same thing the next day. 4. Repeat. Simple, but not easy. If you have questions, you can ask in the space below. Or you can send any member a message. I would be happy to meet you on the boards. -rwm3892 - 726 days quit and I promise no nicotine today.
  6. You're probably a dip addict if: You've deferred sex for nicotine You've been broke and paid for it with a credit card (you financed your addiction you idiot, you actually paid interest on it!) You've looked for the faded round ring on strangers pockets in a crowd so you could bum a dip You've lied about using You've stashed cans to ensure your next fix was never out of reach You've driven across town because your regular c-store was out You've fallen asleep with a dip in You've recycled a dip because you were running low You've put a dip in and experienced pain because your lip is shredded You've stolen from your kids piggy bank to finance your addiction You've not only eaten with a dip in, you've actually gotten proficient at it Aren't you tired of being its bitch? That can end right now!
  7. Welcome! You're here because you need to quit. We know it. You know it. However, we know what runs your life right now. It's not you. You cannot run your life until you spit that crap out of your mouth and flush the contents of your can down the toilet. Rinse the can out while you're there. Flush and rinse any extra stash you might have. I used to go digging through my trash bin just to find my proverbial last can and scrape the bottom corners for any remaining flakes of nicotine-enhanced sawdust. Now, make a promise...No more. How does that make you feel? Below is something I wrote in the newcomer's group a couple days ago. I wrote it for you, but you haven't spit, flushed, and rinsed yet. You should do that in the next few minutes rather than waiting until some special date. Here's why... 2/16/19 When we first get here, very much have the mind of a full-blown addict. When we are using, an addict mind convinces us that we can not live without dip, so we desperately make excuses, and exist on our own rules of logic to keep on using. However, somewhere along the line, we suspect we are living a lie. That suspicion hangs around in the shadows most of the time, but sometimes we are confronted with it, often by other people. We usually get combative and hostile. We isolate ourselves. We usually then double-down on our addiction. It is our only friend, we say. Then, sometimes, further along the line, we get a moment of clarity, where we know we are living a lie, and our addiction has something to do with it. Then sometimes we get around to deciding to do something about it. We know what it is: Quitting. The word strikes terror in our hearts. We have built a world of complete dependence on dip. Deciding to do something about it is NOT doing something about it. Usually, the deciding to decide process hovers around us like a kettle of vultures for months or years. Those are some funky days, not matter how long they last. We feel pathetic each time we put a dip in, knowing we are playing a game of Russian Roulette for something that isn't really working for us. But, if we're lucky, we do do something about it. Spitting out a dip and tossing the contents of the can in the toilet and flushing it is doing something. It's absolutely terrifying. We wonder if it's the right decision to make right now because we can feel ourselves instantly falling apart. We know that as much as dip sucks, it's at least keeping us in one piece for another day. We'll dip to hopefully live another day, we say, and on it goes. Well, you're damn lucky you found us. Why, you ask, is it lucky to find a bunch of crotchety ex-dippers? The answer is because these crotchety ex-dippers have been there and we know there is a much better life on the other side. We wrote the book on excuses and bullshit. It's all old hat for us. We know that the the mind of an addict has its own jacked up program running and we know you can't tell the difference between the jacked up program and some sane version 1.0. We don't fault you for it either. Everybody who comes in here should be crazy as a bat, or we would wonder what's up. We want, and want you, to keep quitting, no matter how you feel, or what your crazy head is telling you to do, and mainly it's telling you to just go buy a can of dip, or maybe some other substitute, so you'll stay on the hook. When we are addicts, we are just as dependent on jacked up thinking as we are on dip. We're here to tell you that your mind, and your body will heal in time, and all the suckiness you're going to go through will be worth it. But you have to stick with it long enough for the miracle (or series of miracles) to happen. -RWM Discussion, and any other point of view, is welcome. But please, dump and flush first. Promise no more, and we go from there. If you think you can't do that now, tell us why. In that case, do stick around for feedback.
  8. It's never too late to quit tobacco, even if time ran out on lots of other things. You can reclaim your dignity.
  9. There is no being ready. Jump as soon as possible. Thinking about it gives you a chance to talk yourself out of it. I thought my way out of it 10,000 times. Now I can only say "Why did I wait so long?" A better life awaits. Why would you wait one minute longer for that? Yes, the water is freezing cold and a shock to the system, but in a few days the shock wears off and you start learning to live without your longtime crutch. 708 tough days quit and I cherish each and every one.
  10. rwm3892

    HEY, Y'all!

    Major congrats to you for 10 years of kicking Copenhagen to the curb. Don't be a stranger. We have a good group of quitters. A much smaller group, but we're making it work. We always appreciate the oldtimer's support.
  11. Congratulations on almost 12 years. I agree with you about accountability and getting involved as much as possible. Maybe you aren't around as much as you used to be, but you guys left a wealth of knowledge and experience. Every once in a while I read the HOF speeches and the earlier pages of your quit groups for inspiration.
  12. As a follow up to yesterday's response...a new November 2018 HOF Quit Group is open for business.
  13. Welcome. Big congrats to you for making that decision! Our admin people haven't created a new quit group for November 2018 yet. They are slipping. You can post roll call in the October 2018 group until admin creates the newest quit group, but you'll be a group of one. No one else has had the guts to commit to quitting such as you've done. Hopefully you start a trend. I'll support you wherever you post roll call and I'm positive others will support you as well.
  14. Thanks for the update. Now we have to wait for that next bridge. We'll be here for you as much as it is possible on an online forum. This is a pretty good place to vent. You could go to one of the quit groups and post roll call too. You'll have some additional support there.
  15. Thanks for the head's up, Thunder. We promote the concept that we are dip addicts for the rest of our lives, and quit only for today. It's not easy to actually believe that. It's a crazy ass-addiction that defies time and reason. Huge congrats to you for keeping the lip clear of dip for 17 years, one day at a time.
  16. I am the epitomy of irrational thinking when it comes to dip. Here is something helpful DonewithLT posted last month that goes right with what you're asking: http://whyquit.com/FFN/chapters/FFN_04_Rationalizations.pdf While this whole article is great, there is a section from page 6 - 10 on the fallacy that using nicotine reduced stress and helped us cope with stressful situations. This totally debunks that myth and also provides good info on why we have struggled with temper, anger, and cussing like sailors since quitting. Great, great read for throwing that flawed logic out the window and would suggest reading the entire chapter if you can find the time. Just read it during the time you used to chew
  17. Your body and mind are going through great changes during the early days of your quit. Living without dip is like learning to walk. So it's not surprising that your body and mind might need the extra rest. At this point, your only priority should be hitting the pillow tonight without having to take a dip today. That, my friend, is a raving success. Family and/or work will have to take a backseat for a little while. It's all temporary. Hopefully you can talk with your family and let them know that you might be indisposed for a couple weeks. Everyone will be just fine. This is a temporary suck that pays big time dividends back. But the quit seems to have a timeline of its own. You only have control over what goes in your mouth. Also, what you expressed here is very similar to what most quitters are going through in the early stages. Hang in there. A walk or any other exercise will certainly help. I even recommend fake dip. It fools your brain somewhat and gets you through those high trigger moments.
  18. Use it as it is intended and it will work!
  19. Welcome. I saw that you found the June 2018 HOF Group that I suggested you go to. It doesn't exactly fit your quit date, but you don't want to belong to a group that has no other members. A couple guys in that June 2018 group have been around before and know the ropes and will help you. Here is how it works: you post roll as early as you can in the day, promising yourself and us that you will not use tobacco that day. You take dip off the table--it's not option. Then you work out the problems of living life without that crutch. Then you post roll call the next day. When you reach 100 days quit, you are eligible to enter the QSSN Hall of Fame. That's what the HOF is all about. It is an initial goal to shoot for because someone determined that if you can make it 100 days, then you have a solid system down. Of course it doesn't really stop there. It's just a beginning. Dip is a patient foe and gets us back years later. Getting involved with the group is a good way to go. Support your group and they support you. It is also recommended that you get some phone #s. If you're having a bad day, and bad crave, a simple discussion with another quitter can get you through the day. Just get to know some people and find someone you feel comfortable with. Great job staying dip-free for 46 days. That's a hell of a start.
  20. Good on you! I still don't. I get up so early as it is and don't want to wake up any earlier to prepare a proper breakfast. But maybe I should. It is one meal that I could have sole control over and I could get creative with something nutritious and tasty.
  21. Kicking Back Flashback to February 2010: Went out for a late dinner with my wife. Woke up in the middle of the night because I had to relieve my bladder. Did so quickly because I wanted to get back to sleep before my mind kicked in. After doing so, while walking from the bathroom back to bed, I started to feel dizzy and saw darkness closing around me. Next thing I knew I was on the floor, coming to, while my wife was next to me, yelling my name. My wife said she was calling an ambulance. I told her she didn’t have to do that. I said I was OK, that it was just a freak accident from getting out of bed so fast and trying to force myself to take a leak quickly. She insisted on calling an ambulance and I kept insisting no. We compromised by me promising that I would make an appointment with the doctor come Monday morning. At the doctor’s appointment, while getting checked out, I’m explaining what happened when I passed out. The doctor removes the stethoscope from his ears and asks “Do you smoke?” I said “No” with a little self-righteous pride. The doctor then asks “Do you chew tobacco?” I thought it odd that he pinned down that question so fast. I hemmed and hawed, forcing myself to utter a barely audible “Yes.” The doctor asks “How long have you been chewing tobacco?” I glance at my wife before looking back at the doctor before answering. “Thirty years,” I whisper. I hear my wife gasp with surprise. It was like admitting to an affair that went on behind her back for that long. The doctor then starts to go on in great detail how chewing tobacco is detrimental to the vascular system and how I have an increased likelihood to have a heart attack or stroke, and that it probably had ‘something’ to do with me hitting the deck. The doctor then asks if I want to quit. I look at my wife again. She doesn’t even look back. I say “Yeah…one of these days.” The doctor discusses quitting options, wants to know if I would like to try any of the prescription methods that he runs through. I tell the doctor I would rather quit by going cold turkey. He asked me how I plan on doing that and I said I would commit to looking in to it. The doctor set up an appointment for a month later, when we could see how things have improved after I had quit. I never followed up on that appointment. I blew off my doctor. Flashback to April 2010: After a couple of months of my wife pestering me every other day, I flushed my can. "I have to do this," I thought. After one day I was crawling out of my skin. I was seconds away from leaving work and driving to the nearest C-Store and basking in the glory of a fresh dip after a long crave when I typed ‘quit dip’ into the google search box. I remember reading Bluesman’s ‘Secret of Our Success,’ and dozens of other Hall of Fame speeches. I could relate to every word. Everything written resonated deeply with where I was in life, and with my tobacco addiction. I wanted to have that freedom and ‘success’ that all those HOF writers were describing. I had tried many times and could not make it stick. I knew this addiction was ruining my health. I knew my relationships with loved ones had deteriorated. I knew my professional life stagnated. I knew my social life suffered. I was addicted to smokeless tobacco and I felt deep shame in that. I did not want anyone to know I dipped and went to great lengths to keep it secret. I also set up my life to ensure I had continual unfettered access to my dirty secret and was not going to let anything interfere. I was astonished to find that nearly all the quitters here felt the same. In the outside world, everyone treated me like I was some sort of weak freak for not giving up such a filthy habit years before, let alone how I could even start such a disgusting habit in the first place. Reading those HOF speeches on that day in April 2010 gave me a spark of hope that someone could understand how much I loved the stuff, how shameful it was for me, and how hard it was to quit. There was, however, proof here that I could quit. I posted roll call and did so religiously for about 200 days. However, around day 300, I gladly decided to march into the store to buy a can, and then stuff my lip. I continued to do so for another six years. I just buried my head in six feet of denial and ignored everything. Screw everyone and everything, I thought. In retrospect, there were warning signs that I wouldn’t make it that go-around: 1) I was not 100% quitting for myself. I mean, I was…and I wasn’t. I wanted good health. I wanted to improve the quality of my relationships. I wanted freedom from anxiety. I wanted people to pat me on the back. I wanted recognition. I wanted to have the success that comes with quitting—the things everybody else talked about—increased fitness, better health, better relationships, more time for interesting hobbies, and more energy to focus on professional endeavors. When those things did not happen fast enough—or not at all. I figured “What’s the use?” It is clear now that I put conditions on my quit. The conditions became more important than the quit. When the conditions weren’t met, I considered my quit a failure. I set myself up. 2) I wanted the symptoms of quitting to go away on MY timeline. The big thing here is the fog. After six months of being quit, I thought the fog was a permanent thing. I could not focus. I could no longer think a coherent thought. I could no longer write anything longer than a badly written sentence. Depression was another significant symptom that crept into my life for the first time after I quit. I thought the depression was a result of quitting and that it was permanent. I concluded that I would rather be dipping than be depressed. Some medications have benefits that outweigh the drawbacks. I diagnosed myself and wrote my own prescription. Small wonder I chose smokeless tobacco to fill the bill. 3) My activity on this site started to dwindle after about day 200 and became just about non-existent soon thereafter. I quit posting roll call. I quit reaching out, or whenever anyone reached out to me, I ignored them. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of being accountable. I wanted to be done with the inconveniences of quitting, and I did not want anyone else in my business. I had better things to do. 4) Quitting stopped being my #1 priority, if it ever was. It was more like I was trying to fake it before I made it. Faking it began to feel too untrue. It is easy to go astray, but when you are in the middle of it, you do not even notice---everything seems normal until you turn around in circles, lost, alone, and bewildered, asking yourself “Where the hell am I and how did I get HERE?” This website answers those questions, and offers a path out. The path you choose is up to you. Dip wasn’t going to ever make anything better or solve any of my problems. I erroneously believed dip did for me what I would not or could not do for myself. No wonder I became so attached to it. After an additional six years of dip addiction, I came to realize that smokeless tobacco would never work its magic again. It was an erroneous premise to begin with. Quitting doesn't magically solve all my problems either. Just one of them. The rest is up to me. Fast Forward: March 8, 2017 – Today One year Quit. Here’s how I’ve done it: Don’t dip, no matter what. Post roll call every day. Give my word I will not dip today. Reach out personally to other quitters. Offer support to other quit groups. Ask for help. Don’t dip, no matter what. Repeat. Another important thing I’ve done is this: I have established a separate realm for my quit, beyond my personal life; whereby personal issues have no say in the quit matter. I am first and foremost quit today. Everything else is gravy. When I first arrived here, it was my hope to one day offer one hell of an inspirational story---to say I’ve done a triathlon, lost all the weight I need to take off, built my own company, traveled the world, climbed Mt. Everest, wrote the next great American novel, etc., all because I don’t dip anymore. Because I’ve done none of the above, I considered myself unworthy to say anything on the subject of successful quitting. Nonetheless, I have survived a tough run, and I’ve done so without dip for the past year. As I alluded to above, success doesn’t always revolve around my timeline. Also, I must re-consider my erroneous-egocentric-addict’s mind. Success comes in many different shapes and forms. 100 days... 365 days quit are major accomplishments in and by themselves. I’ll take it. I deserve to be here for those reasons alone. I would like to thank those who have supported me and listened to me whine and complain at times. I would also like to thank those who have left their words of wisdom and trials and tribulations in this space. All I can do is pay your service forward the best I can. Thirdly, I would also like to thank our patron and donors for giving us a place to do what was once impossible. And lastly: thank you, new quitters, for reminding me that dip is still out there kicking ass. Today I’m kicking back.
  22. Congratulations! The first week is the most difficult. I thought I would lose my mind. But it is so nice to finally be done with that one-way relationship. Say goodbye with joy. Life is too short to waste on addiction.
  23. Cooking is good! Lots of folks here have worked on the art of cooking food. Our increasingly sensitive palates almost requires it, and our quittin' selves deserve an extra treat. I think I was able to actually smell that chicken broth.
  24. The following link is a good read on a boring Saturday...http://www.quitsmokeless.org/articles/success.php You may have already read it. It was that post that convinced me to quit on the spot. Everything in there holds up, and I still occasionally read it for inspiration. There is a part of me that still has a deep, constant, profound craving for that stuff. But I am hellbent on living without it today, because it never actually filled the hole and it was killing me in the process. Hope the wind clears so you can enjoy a hike tomorrow.
  25. Sounds like a great way to spend your first weekend dip-free since the mid-80s! My first few weeks quit were like living in a different dimension. Anything you can do to keep busy is a good thing. You'll find yourself doing things without even thinking about dip, but then later have panic attacks about having to do something without it. Just keep riding them out without giving in to the temptation. Keep doing, think less, and next thing you know, you'll be hitting the pillow without dip.
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