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skywalker

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skywalker last won the day on October 4 2014

skywalker had the most liked content!

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About skywalker

  • Rank
    Trust me...I'm a Doctor.
  • Birthday 10/22/1980

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  • Website URL
    http://lukeandcassie.blogspot.com

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    New Mexico

Profile Fields

  • Quit Date
    04/01/2013

Recent Profile Visitors

566 profile views
  1. Freedom, Welcome to the site. If there is one thing I've found here, it is hope. If you have a desire to quit and stay quit, you have an absolutely amazing group of brothers and sisters here that are here to support you. Congrats on four years of sobriety! Not many folks in your life will be as happy for you when you kick the nic habit, so we are a group that supports each other through your next victory. Plug into your quit group, get to know the folks on the front line with you, and get some phone numbers. Freedom is here, brother...take the steps with us.
  2. FREEDOM!!!! One Day at a time.

  3. I had a wonderful/horrible addiction to tobacco. I tried countless times to quit, and failed. When I failed, I felt like a complete failure. When I felt like a failure, I got angry. When I got angry, I would take it out on myself or, if they happened to be unlucky enough to be around, my family. Logically this argument would be simply solved by never quitting tobacco, but that is not a viable option. When I was using tobacco, I felt amazing, centered, full of adrenaline yet at ease. Physically, my heart rate would increase from a natural basal rate of around 60 bpm to above 100 bpm. My blood pressure would increase from a normal (for me) 140/80 to 150/100 or even 160/110. I know that having this heart rate and hypertension long-term will do severe damage to my cardiovascular system. I, therefore, know that I need to quit. I needed a game plan. One that did not involve taking a drug to get off a drug. One that did not involve replacing one addiction with another. Did I just need an environment where it was okay to fail? Did I need a “program” to follow? The gum didn't work, nor the patch, Adderal, or other drugs. Why did I continue to fail? Why did I continue to drag my amazing wife and sweet family along this mess that they had nothing to do with? How long could I really expect them to hang on to a crazy person? It was very easy to quit when I was motivated to be healthy after we found out that my wife was pregnant with our first child. Why was it not so easy now? I stayed completely away from the drug for 3 years without temptation, then along came the biggest stress period of my life: changing jobs and going out to start my own business. I know that it's almost understandable, but it is not excusable. I have always avoided things that I was not good at. Always avoided things that I failed...that always seemed easy. Why could I not see tobacco as one of these “monsters” that I need to avoid. Is it because of how wonderful it made me feel? I know that it's not only a physical, but a chemical addiction...the ol' “one-two” punch. How could I deal with this? I knew there was not going to be a solid 2 to 3 week run of 'stress-free' life to comfort me while I tried to quit. How could I deal with the stress of quitting and the normal stress of life.? The normal stress of everyday life became simple with tobacco...it was a safe place to 'hide' while 'dealing' with life. I knew that there would always be excuses to continue using, and reasons to quit. What could I do to be reminded of the reasons, and avoid the excuses? Was there anything? It would be incredibly easy to quit on an island in the middle of nowhere...should/could I mentally put myself there? How could I avoid something so readily available? Was there a way for me to make it not so available? I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to be free from the rage. I wanted to be the 'real' me for myself and my family. I wanted to be free from the clutches of anything in/of this world. This is the prayer I prayed: “Lord...please give me the strength...once again.” So...off I went. I'd discovered, after a relapse on day 4, that alcohol would have to go as well. That sucked! I posted up roll-call on this site, restarted my quit date, and started going to the local 7:00 a.m. A.A. Meetings – what had I done and who had I become! Here I sit, 100 days later: clean, sober, happy, joyous, and free. One thing I never realized was that I wasn't alone. I wasn't the only 'idiot' that wanted to quit, failed, and wanted to quit again. What an awesome support group that I had in the “Cando Quitters”. I received and sent many personal messages to users on the qssn site, read so much wonderful advice, prayed for and asked for support, and became consciously aware that I was being held up and supported by those who were in the group and those that had gone before. Know that you can do this! Know that this group is here to help. Know that you just have to get through it simply: one day/hour/minute at a time. It is a journey of spiritual awakening, a journey of peace and serenity, and a journey in learning how to get out of your 'self' and support others. Declare your own Independence Day! My new prayer is this: “Lord, thank you for my quit. Thank you for sending support. Help me stay quit and help others know there is help and hope. Let me know your will, and give me the power to carry it out, Amen.” -Skywalker – 04/01/13
  4. I can't believe that I've actually forgotten who I really am...it is truly amazing how deep the NB gets her 'claws' into you.

    1. chuck m

      chuck m

      I know exactly what you are talking about, it is truly time to take your life back and get rid of the bitch!

       

       

  5. You are making a great choice nevin. Stick to your guns and keep quit. Make your way over to the pre hall of fame and post up in the July quit group, they will be your brothers in quit. As far as getting through the first week and dip substitutes, there is a ton of old talk on here about what worked for different folks. The main thing, just get off anything that contains nicotine. Some folks use fake dip(herbal dip with no nicotine), sunflower seeds, gum, cotton balls soaked in mouthwash...etc. Go read in a bunch of past group posts to find that stuff. Avoid tempting situation the first few weeks(drinking alcohol, friends that dip, drinking alcohol, lots of time alone, drinking alcohol, did I mention drinking alcohol?)But most important is to post roll daily in your group, get to know them, be accountable, don't make excuses to cave, and stay quit. Nevin, we're glad to have you here! No lie - It's gonna suck, cinnamon sticks, gum, or what ever you chose to keep you busy. Tiger could not me more right: stay away from alcohol...it caused me to cave after 4 days! Come on in and join us in roll call.
  6. The picture itself is 728 x 90 pix, .jpeg http://www.qssn.org/images/Leaderboard.jpg here's a suggestion: [url=http://www.whyquit.com/whyquit728x90.gif
  7. I can feel the 'fog' slightly lifting!

  8. Welcome back onboard the Quit Train! Just an FYI: Luck has nothing to do with it. It's deciding to stay quit no matter what it takes. One crave, one hour, one day at a time. Thanks for the encouragement Euty! I was done with tobacco for almost 3 years, then one stupid decision later... It's now been 2 years back on dip and I'm sick of it running my life and ruining my life!
  9. Nearing the end of day two....rough one, but your stories have been a blessing.

  10. Well...here we go again. I am quitting today. I had quit for 3 years and started up last year after I went into business for myself. I lied to myself saying, "I am strong enough to just take one dip". I tried 'cold turkey' last week and had "dip rage" so bad that I thought my family would leave me. I've got to get the anger-while-quitting issue under control: this will be downfall if I can't get help. I've never been to a counselor, but I have set an appointment with one next week. Wish me luck, and please pray for my family to help me stick this one out. God bless, -Luke
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