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Bluesman

February 28, 2015

Day 4,865

Buckeye State

 

I wanted to stop by today, just to give back a little to the community that made the difference in my own success against tobacco addiction.

 

In November of 2001, now forever ago, I stumbled upon a “bulletin board” forum, run by Matt Van Wyk, dedicated to helping people quit chewing tobacco. I am going to guess that there were maybe 15-20 active members. It was a mind-opening discovery for me, as I thought I was completely alone in the battle with this addiction, one in which the "enemy" had an outpost inside my head. I wrote about that discovery in “The Secret of Our Success.”

The support, camaraderie, and accountability created by these forums was the difference. I vested myself in this community, which put my pride on the line. There was no way I was letting everyone down. I lived in this cyberspace, which we named the “QS Cafe,” because it felt like a coffee shop where people were hanging out ... I would have been like “Norm,” as a fixture at the end of the bar. I would post 3-4 times a day, which was a lot at the time (single forum format), but really, it was constantly on in my browser. I remember when Matt got “fancy” and added color fonts, icons, and profiles. We were like Steve Martin in The Jerk ... “The new phone books are here!” I was not a great lawyer during those 100 days ... not a great husband or father or anything else, really. I was busy quitting tobacco. From the vantage point of 14 years, all I can think is ... That's it? For 20 years, all I had to buckle down for 14 weeks? I was like Otis Campbell, the town drunk on the Andy Griffith Show​ ... all I had to do is sober up enough to use the key, hanging right there on the wall, and just walk out of my jail cell. And I sat in the cell for 20-freaking years!

After the first 100 days or so, tobacco addiction is like a well-healed scab. I could make it bleed again, if I really wanted to, if I scratched it hard enough, but it would take some volitional action on my part. At some point, my forum participation started to feel like a “replacement addiction” (feeding my chronic procrastination habit), so I faded out on purpose. I also think that each group of new quitters needs their own “leaders,” and the opportunity to be “leaders.” I wrote about those experiences in dozens of posts, including Year 2, Year 3, Year 4, and Year 5 in the QS Library.

Over time, the scabs turn to scar tissue ... noticeable every now in again, if I was looking at it, but not of any real interest or import anymore. Just a good story. And then, over a couple year period, even the scar tissue disappears. You do not notice tobacco anymore, or care about it, or think about it. If you feel anything at all towards tobacco or your addiction, you feel embarrassment, anger, and head-shaking consternation. From a distance, this addiction is truly one of the most moronic and pathetic habits that you could possibly conjure, this side of crack and heroine. Let’s see ... let’s stick a wad of cancer-causing, poop-colored, chemically-treated tobacco leaves in your mouth, for hours at a time, while the wad makes brown drool that you have to spit or swallow, to feed an insatiable physical and mental addiction, notwithstanding the fact that packaging states, on the label, that it will cause you to suffer the slow, painful, horrific illness and death of cancer. Seriously, what in the fuck were we thinking? In fact, you will ultimately look upon tobacco addiction with the same head-scratching bewilderment as you would regard the crackhead or heroine addict. Who in their right mind would DO that to themselves and their families? No one.


And now? Honestly, tobacco is just totally meaningless to me ... Even the hatred is gone. I have fortunately raised children who (at least so far) have navigated their youth without tobacco, which was one of the “footers” to the foundation of my decision to quit. I hate hypocrisy and never wanted to be a "do as I say, not as I do" parent. I have nothing more to do in this area of my life. My only regret is that I now wish I found the courage to make this decision/commitment sooner, maybe right after graduation, instead of waiting until I was 34 years old.

To this day, I regard my success against tobacco addiction as the model for positive change in my life. When I am truly committed to a goal, when I really want something (like competing in a triathlon, or eliminating debt, or starting my own law firm, all of which I have done), I follow the same steps ... I make a real single-minded commitment, based upon my own desires and reasons (i.e., something that I want for me). I disrupt/change my habits and behavior, what I physically do, and then focus exclusively on that change and my goal. If there is one universal truth that I have learned, it is that you cannot simultaneously stay the same and change who you are. You cannot remain in place and move to somewhere new. You have to give up comfort and complacency to get to the next level. Oddly, sometimes I have to change even unrelated habits to really “disrupt” my behavior ... e.g., drinking Starbucks coffee in the morning inevitably leads me to an hour (or more) of personal emails and internet surfing. I had to quit coffee to stop wasting time on the internet! I also try to recreate this forum experience by telling everyone around me what I am doing ... That is the best way to “lock in” your commitment. It puts your pride and self-respect and reputation on the line. Above all else, I want to be a man who does what he says.


So, in summary, I am here to tell you this ... You need to quit chewing tobacco, and you need to quit today. It is only your addicted mind that keeps you from seeing this unequivocal truth. You simply lack the perspective to realize this. You are too close to the situation. And that is why I am here. I am here, burning billable time, to give you perspective today.


No one was “more addicted” to chewing tobacco than me (if there are even “degrees of addiction” when someone is an everyday, all-the-time user). If you were smart enough and serious enough and driven enough to find this website, then you have what it takes to quit chewing tobacco. Period. And you will. Because once you find this place, you cannot "unring the bell" ... You now know the truth. You have taken the red pill. You will free yourself and your mind from tobacco addiction. It is just a matter of when ... Let me assure you, you will ultimately wish (years from now) that today was "when."

And if you have quit, let me confirm for you this absolute fact ... whatever pain, annoyance, irritation, mental distress, and angst that you are feeling, right now ... it will pass. It is just temporary. You can and will do this. You do not have to quit forever ... You are just quitting for today. And you can do anything today. And whatever you and your addicted mind think and feel and believe about tobacco ... all of the endless whining and crying and self-pity ... will also disappear. Gone. After you cycle through these temporary circumstances and conditions, and then the anger for not quitting sooner, you will be completely free of this moronic product.

What I cannot give you is the pride, the sense of accomplishment, and the peace of mind that you will feel, years from now, when you look back at your accomplishment. You will move on to other things, as I have now, and you will be grateful and thankful, as I am now. And you will come back here, and write a post like this, for no other reason than to help someone else, still in the thick of things, who momentarily lacks the perspective and vision and understanding to see the light.

Good luck, stay the course, and free your mind, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment, with the same unwavering commitment ... No tobacco today.

Bluesman

Edited by Bluesman
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Bluesman

February 28, 2015

Day 4,865

Buckeye State

 

I wanted to stop by today, just to give back a little to the community that made the difference in my own success against tobacco addiction.

 

In November of 2001, now forever ago, I stumbled upon a bulletin board forum, run by Matt Van Wyk, dedicated to helping people quit chewing tobacco. I am going to guess that there were maybe 15-20 active members. It was a mind-opening discovery for me, as I thought I was completely alone in the battle with this addiction, one in which the "enemy" had an outpost inside my head. I wrote about that discovery in The Secret of Our Success.

 

The support, camaraderie, and accountability created by these forums was the difference. I vested myself in this community, which put my pride on the line. There was no way I was letting everyone down. I lived in this cyberspace, which we named the QS Cafe, because it felt like a coffee shop where people were hanging out ... I would have been like Norm, as a fixture at the end of the bar. I would post 3-4 times a day, which was a lot at the time (single forum format), but really, it was constantly on in my browser. I remember when Matt got fancy and added color fonts, icons, and profiles. We were like Steve Martin in The Jerk ... The new phone books are here! I was not a great lawyer during those 100 days ... not a great husband or father or anything else, really. I was busy quitting tobacco. From the vantage point of 14 years, all I can think is ... That's it? For 20 years, all I had to buckle down for 14 weeks? I was like Otis Campbell, the town drunk on the Andy Griffith Show​ ... all I had to do is sober up enough to use the key, hanging right there on the wall, and just walk out of my jail cell. And I sat in the cell for 20-freaking years!

 

After the first 100 days or so, tobacco addiction is like a well-healed scab. I could make it bleed again, if I really wanted to, if I scratched it hard enough, but it would take some volitional action on my part. At some point, my forum participation started to feel like a replacement addiction (feeding my chronic procrastination habit), so I faded out on purpose. I also think that each group of new quitters needs their own leaders, and the opportunity to be leaders. I wrote about those experiences in dozens of posts, including Year 2, Year 3, Year 4, and Year 5 in the QS Library.

 

Over time, the scabs turn to scar tissue ... noticeable every now in again, if I was looking at it, but not of any real interest or import anymore. Just a good story. And then, over a couple year period, even the scar tissue disappears. You do not notice tobacco anymore, or care about it, or think about it. If you feel anything at all towards tobacco or your addiction, you feel embarrassment, anger, and head-shaking consternation. From a distance, this addiction is truly one of the most moronic and pathetic habits that you could possibly conjure, this side of crack and heroine. Lets see ... lets stick a wad of cancer-causing, poop-colored, chemically-treated tobacco leaves in your mouth, for hours at a time, while the wad makes brown drool that you have to spit or swallow, to feed an insatiable physical and mental addiction, notwithstanding the fact that packaging states, on the label, that it will cause you to suffer the slow, painful, horrific illness and death of cancer. Seriously, what in the fuck were we thinking? In fact, you will ultimately look upon tobacco addiction with the same head-scratching bewilderment as you would regard the crackhead or heroine addict. Who in their right mind would DO that to themselves and their families? No one.

And now? Honestly, tobacco is just totally meaningless to me ... Even the hatred is gone. I have fortunately raised children who (at least so far) have navigated their youth without tobacco, which was one of the footers to the foundation of my decision to quit. I hate hypocrisy and never wanted to be a "do as I say, not as I do" parent. I have nothing more to do in this area of my life. My only regret is that I now wish I found the courage to make this decision/commitment sooner, maybe right after graduation, instead of waiting until I was 34 years old.

 

To this day, I regard my success against tobacco addiction as the model for positive change in my life. When I am truly committed to a goal, when I really want something (like competing in a triathlon, or eliminating debt, or starting my own law firm, all of which I have done), I follow the same steps ... I make a real single-minded commitment, based upon my own desires and reasons (i.e., something that I want for me). I disrupt/change my habits and behavior, what I physically do, and then focus exclusively on that change and my goal. If there is one universal truth that I have learned, it is that you cannot simultaneously stay the same and change who you are. You cannot remain in place and move to somewhere new. You have to give up comfort and complacency to get to the next level. Oddly, sometimes I have to change even unrelated habits to really disrupt my behavior ... e.g., drinking Starbucks coffee in the morning inevitably leads me to an hour (or more) of personal emails and internet surfing. I had to quit coffee to stop wasting time on the internet! I also try to recreate this forum experience by telling everyone around me what I am doing ... That is the best way to lock in your commitment. It puts your pride and self-respect and reputation on the line. Above all else, I want to be a man who does what he says.

So, in summary, I am here to tell you this ... You need to quit chewing tobacco, and you need to quit today. It is only your addicted mind that keeps you from seeing this unequivocal truth. You simply lack the perspective to realize this. You are too close to the situation. And that is why I am here. I am here, burning billable time, to give you perspective today.

No one was more addicted to chewing tobacco than me (if there are even degrees of addiction when someone is an everyday, all-the-time user). If you were smart enough and serious enough and driven enough to find this website, then you have what it takes to quit chewing tobacco. Period. And you will. Because once you find this place, you cannot "unring the bell" ... You now know the truth. You have taken the red pill. You will free yourself and your mind from tobacco addiction. It is just a matter of when ... Let me assure you, you will ultimately wish (years from now) that today was "when."

 

And if you have quit, let me confirm for you this absolute fact ... whatever pain, annoyance, irritation, mental distress, and angst that you are feeling, right now ... it will pass. It is just temporary. You can and will do this. You do not have to quit forever ... You are just quitting for today. And you can do anything today. And whatever you and your addicted mind think and feel and believe about tobacco ... all of the endless whining and crying and self-pity ... will also disappear. Gone. After you cycle through these temporary circumstances and conditions, and then the anger for not quitting sooner, you will be completely free of this moronic product.

 

What I cannot give you is the pride, the sense of accomplishment, and the peace of mind that you will feel, years from now, when you look back at your accomplishment. You will move on to other things, as I have now, and you will be grateful and thankful, as I am now. And you will come back here, and write a post like this, for no other reason than to help someone else, still in the thick of things, who momentarily lacks the perspective and vision and understanding to see the light.

 

Good luck, stay the course, and free your mind, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment, with the same unwavering commitment ... No tobacco today.

 

Bluesman

Stuff like this is what helped me quit. This is Awesome stuff, I wish I could write like that, Bluesman put it all in the right context. I only wish I had found this kind of stuff earlier in my life. To this guy and others like him I literally owe my life.

 

Chuck

Edited by chuck m
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Bluesman

February 28, 2015

Day 4,865

Buckeye State

 

I wanted to stop by today, just to give back a little to the community that made the difference in my own success against tobacco addiction.

 

In November of 2001, now forever ago, I stumbled upon a bulletin board forum, run by Matt Van Wyk, dedicated to helping people quit chewing tobacco. I am going to guess that there were maybe 15-20 active members. It was a mind-opening discovery for me, as I thought I was completely alone in the battle with this addiction, one in which the "enemy" had an outpost inside my head. I wrote about that discovery in The Secret of Our Success.

 

The support, camaraderie, and accountability created by these forums was the difference. I vested myself in this community, which put my pride on the line. There was no way I was letting everyone down. I lived in this cyberspace, which we named the QS Cafe, because it felt like a coffee shop where people were hanging out ... I would have been like Norm, as a fixture at the end of the bar. I would post 3-4 times a day, which was a lot at the time (single forum format), but really, it was constantly on in my browser. I remember when Matt got fancy and added color fonts, icons, and profiles. We were like Steve Martin in The Jerk ... The new phone books are here! I was not a great lawyer during those 100 days ... not a great husband or father or anything else, really. I was busy quitting tobacco. From the vantage point of 14 years, all I can think is ... That's it? For 20 years, all I had to buckle down for 14 weeks? I was like Otis Campbell, the town drunk on the Andy Griffith Show​ ... all I had to do is sober up enough to use the key, hanging right there on the wall, and just walk out of my jail cell. And I sat in the cell for 20-freaking years!

 

After the first 100 days or so, tobacco addiction is like a well-healed scab. I could make it bleed again, if I really wanted to, if I scratched it hard enough, but it would take some volitional action on my part. At some point, my forum participation started to feel like a replacement addiction (feeding my chronic procrastination habit), so I faded out on purpose. I also think that each group of new quitters needs their own leaders, and the opportunity to be leaders. I wrote about those experiences in dozens of posts, including Year 2, Year 3, Year 4, and Year 5 in the QS Library.

 

Over time, the scabs turn to scar tissue ... noticeable every now in again, if I was looking at it, but not of any real interest or import anymore. Just a good story. And then, over a couple year period, even the scar tissue disappears. You do not notice tobacco anymore, or care about it, or think about it. If you feel anything at all towards tobacco or your addiction, you feel embarrassment, anger, and head-shaking consternation. From a distance, this addiction is truly one of the most moronic and pathetic habits that you could possibly conjure, this side of crack and heroine. Lets see ... lets stick a wad of cancer-causing, poop-colored, chemically-treated tobacco leaves in your mouth, for hours at a time, while the wad makes brown drool that you have to spit or swallow, to feed an insatiable physical and mental addiction, notwithstanding the fact that packaging states, on the label, that it will cause you to suffer the slow, painful, horrific illness and death of cancer. Seriously, what in the fuck were we thinking? In fact, you will ultimately look upon tobacco addiction with the same head-scratching bewilderment as you would regard the crackhead or heroine addict. Who in their right mind would DO that to themselves and their families? No one.

And now? Honestly, tobacco is just totally meaningless to me ... Even the hatred is gone. I have fortunately raised children who (at least so far) have navigated their youth without tobacco, which was one of the footers to the foundation of my decision to quit. I hate hypocrisy and never wanted to be a "do as I say, not as I do" parent. I have nothing more to do in this area of my life. My only regret is that I now wish I found the courage to make this decision/commitment sooner, maybe right after graduation, instead of waiting until I was 34 years old.

 

To this day, I regard my success against tobacco addiction as the model for positive change in my life. When I am truly committed to a goal, when I really want something (like competing in a triathlon, or eliminating debt, or starting my own law firm, all of which I have done), I follow the same steps ... I make a real single-minded commitment, based upon my own desires and reasons (i.e., something that I want for me). I disrupt/change my habits and behavior, what I physically do, and then focus exclusively on that change and my goal. If there is one universal truth that I have learned, it is that you cannot simultaneously stay the same and change who you are. You cannot remain in place and move to somewhere new. You have to give up comfort and complacency to get to the next level. Oddly, sometimes I have to change even unrelated habits to really disrupt my behavior ... e.g., drinking Starbucks coffee in the morning inevitably leads me to an hour (or more) of personal emails and internet surfing. I had to quit coffee to stop wasting time on the internet! I also try to recreate this forum experience by telling everyone around me what I am doing ... That is the best way to lock in your commitment. It puts your pride and self-respect and reputation on the line. Above all else, I want to be a man who does what he says.

So, in summary, I am here to tell you this ... You need to quit chewing tobacco, and you need to quit today. It is only your addicted mind that keeps you from seeing this unequivocal truth. You simply lack the perspective to realize this. You are too close to the situation. And that is why I am here. I am here, burning billable time, to give you perspective today.

No one was more addicted to chewing tobacco than me (if there are even degrees of addiction when someone is an everyday, all-the-time user). If you were smart enough and serious enough and driven enough to find this website, then you have what it takes to quit chewing tobacco. Period. And you will. Because once you find this place, you cannot "unring the bell" ... You now know the truth. You have taken the red pill. You will free yourself and your mind from tobacco addiction. It is just a matter of when ... Let me assure you, you will ultimately wish (years from now) that today was "when."

 

And if you have quit, let me confirm for you this absolute fact ... whatever pain, annoyance, irritation, mental distress, and angst that you are feeling, right now ... it will pass. It is just temporary. You can and will do this. You do not have to quit forever ... You are just quitting for today. And you can do anything today. And whatever you and your addicted mind think and feel and believe about tobacco ... all of the endless whining and crying and self-pity ... will also disappear. Gone. After you cycle through these temporary circumstances and conditions, and then the anger for not quitting sooner, you will be completely free of this moronic product.

 

What I cannot give you is the pride, the sense of accomplishment, and the peace of mind that you will feel, years from now, when you look back at your accomplishment. You will move on to other things, as I have now, and you will be grateful and thankful, as I am now. And you will come back here, and write a post like this, for no other reason than to help someone else, still in the thick of things, who momentarily lacks the perspective and vision and understanding to see the light.

 

Good luck, stay the course, and free your mind, day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment, with the same unwavering commitment ... No tobacco today.

 

Bluesman

Stuff like this is what helped me quit. This is Awesome stuff, I wish I could write like that, Bluesman put it all in the right context. I only wish I had found this kind of stuff earlier in my life. To this guy and others like him I literally owe my life.

 

Chuck

Another brilliant piece from The Bluesman. This fellow pushed me over the top as well. If you have not read it yet, here it is. http://www.quitsmokeless.org/articles/success.php This is the article that motivated me to man up 1,565 days ago. He doesn't know me but he was a big part of my quit.

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It would be great if some of you "old timers" would post in the café about how your life is now after being quit for some time. One of the best things for me and my quit has been to read all of the positive things a lot of you have written during your quit groups.

 

I think it would be helpful if you would take a few minutes and let us new comers hear how your doing now that you are hundreds if not thousands of days away from where we are now.

 

Bluesman is one of a kind the way he writes and lays it down for us all but his story is only one of many......I have read almost every HOF speech written......and 100 days is certainly a milestone in our journey. But as you know more than me it doesn't stop there. Anything you add to the café would be appreciated.

 

Andy/D BoB

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Andy/D Bob-
On a whim I checked in today. My quit began 1793 days ago. I try to check in once a month. I saw your post and I felt the need to share. Much like Bluesman, quitting tobacco has led to a series of positive changes in my life in the last 1793 days. Want. Courage. Stamina. All play a role in continued success overcoming addiction and any other behaviors and/or unhealthy situations you find yourself in. Personally, I don't remember the day or moment when I felt freed from the shackles of nicotine. I do know that now, I look back on my former self with shame and some anger. The reality is, when you are addicted, your mind WILL tell you anything it can to feed the addiction. Words like 'need' and 'deserve' fuel your desire. Words like 'can't' and 'impossible' block your will. But I used those words to my advantage instead. I needed to quit and deserved a better life. I can't imagine doing it without the help of this site and its genuinely impossible for me think of going back to that life. THIS is what you have to look forward to. This is what makes every day you're struggling worth it. This is why you put yourself through all those horrible foggy days, the inevitable weight gain, the mood swings. Trust me and trust the men (and women) here. You can and will get through it. The proof is all around you. You bring the want, these people will help with the will

Chip

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I began my quit on April 10, 2009, 2,152 days ago and almost 6 years ago. I still visit this site almost daily and post regularly in the July 2009, June 2009 and December 07 groups. I post as much to keep contact with the friends I've made on the site as to reaffirm my quit.

 

The best thing about being quit is I am a better role model to my children. I don't feel like a hypocrite when I tell them I would prefer they not use tobacco.

 

These are very random thoughts about how quitting has an effect on my life:

 

I'm no longer worried if I have enough dip to make it until I can make it to the store. I no longer have rings in my rear back pocket where the can rubbed the color off.

 

I no longer need to worry about dentist appointments. My smile is whiter and the sore in my lower lip has been gone for years. I don't have to worry if my sore throat is really caused by a cancer. My food tastes better. I can kiss my wife whenever I want and don't need to spit and rinse first.

 

I don't have that anxious feeling when I'm where I can't get another dip. I don't have to come up with approximately $15.00 per week. $60.00 per month or $720.00 year to keep the habit going. I don't have to pick black bits out of my teeth all of the time.

 

I'm free from the feeling that I have to have, need to have a substance that could kill me.

 

I quit after 30 years of dipping and I haven't regretted quitting for a moment. Sometime it was hard. The first two years were hard. It is all I thought about for the first sixty days of my quit. It got better until finally I don't think about it unless I have a reason.

 

My life isn't earth shaking different since I quit. I still do most of the things I did while I dipped. However, it is better without it. I wish I would have done it sooner.

 

It can be done and it is worth it.

Edited by Donnie
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This might earn me my first "Warning Point". This is a rant I saved that was posted by a Quit Tank friend Todd several years ago in response to AKPIANO who thought his addiction was worse than everyone elses. Todd never minced his words:

 

Todd-426- AKPIANO
I felt like that for a while. I went from 2-3 tins a day chewing 24/7 at work, at
home, out at the store, taking a shit, taking a bath, watching tv, eating
lunch, mowing the grass, painting the shed, working on the car, going off
roading, sleeping, taking a piss, playing a game, listening to music, surfing
the net, reading a mag, cleaning my guns, fishing, hunting, playing football,
weightlifting, every fucking place I was a chew was in. The only time I took it out
was when I was sleeping and in fact many many times I fell asleep with
that shit in. I remember hearing some vets here at the time saying its going to
get better. I was like FUCK that, saying that lame shit does not help me one
fucking bit. Some guy I don’t know telling me it gets better.... who
the fuck does he think he is and those fucks don’t know me because my addiction
was worse its always harder for you than everyone else. You need to man the
fuck up and just keep going, don’t think that in 10 days 30 days 40 or whatever
days your all of a sudden going to feel fucking fine. Don’t put a time frame on
when you will kick this shit. I was once told by a vet Don’t give Up before
you see the burning bush
which to me meant DONT GIVE UP BEFORE THE MIRACLE
HAPPENS. Just keep PUSHING FORWARD - Become a QUIT TANK and Roll Ahead and one day
it WILL HAPPEN. I cant tell you when but it did for me...sure I get craves still
but NOTHING LIKE I HAD BEFORE. Don’t get sucked back in and ruin your quit.
Keep pushing forward it’s easy to cave and chew and hide from the site and your
fellow quitters and yourself. Be proud about what your doing, not many people
can. Sooooooooooo.....It does get better but then again who the fuck am I but
one day if you stay quit you will see what me and other vets here talk about
and YOU will be helping those who are trying to quit and try to explain to them
how "it does get better"

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Down with the flu yesterday and missed an anniversary. So today makes 3,001 days Quit. Thats a whole lot of days, hours, and minutes of Freedom. It damn sure wasn't easy, but it is sooooo worth all the Pain and misery of that first year. So if that is where you are now, Keep fighting it gets better, everyday you stay Quit is another day closer to freedom.

 

It's nice to not wake up in the morning and go looking for a can of snuff even before you get dressed, cause you have to have it RIGHT NOW.

 

It's good being able to have a conversation after a meal without sneaking off to slip one in and the wife and company know it, but are just too polite to say anything

 

It's great to no longer have the Nic-Bitch riding my shoulder whispering in my ear that another dip won't matter

 

It's wonderful thinking back that I have not had a dip dream in about two years.

 

These are just a few of the things that staying Quit has made my life better for


Stay Strong
Stay Quit,

John
AKA Wyoming4life

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Hello, my name is FightBack and I have failed miserably on this site for years. Serial Caver ... I hate that name, but I guess that's what I am.

 

I'm sitting here at my computer once again, wishing to join back up with a quit group ... wishing for the umpteenth million freakin time that I will quit - that I'll have the guts do it. My wife doesn't think I can do it. My friends don't think I can do it. But right now, I do. And I'll tell you why - because right now I'm "drunk" on nicotine. Everything is clickin in this addicted brain of mine. I'm in the "GO" mode.

 

However past experience tells me that by tomorrow morning, I'll be a completely different person. My biggest problem is that I don't think I will ever feel normal again.... the anger, irritability, fogged mind, inertia is relentless. The reason that I've never stayed quit is because I've always wimped out before ... cracked under the pressure I've never really stuck it out long enough.

It's been a constant torment for at least the last 30 years - both during the times I was quit and during the times I continued to chew.

 

Why am I saying all this? Because I want pitied? Because I think I'm more addicted than anyone else? No, it's because I'm freakin exasperated trying this so often and failing. I'm emotionally exhausted. I'm ashamed and desperate to quit and stay quit. Having said all that, I know deep in my soul, if I would just man up and go the distance, without any reservations, I could beat it and become a free man.

 

FightBack

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Hello, my name is FightBack and I have failed miserably on this site for years. Serial Caver ... I hate that name, but I guess that's what I am.

 

I'm sitting here at my computer once again, wishing to join back up with a quit group ... wishing for the umpteenth million freakin time that I will quit - that I'll have the guts do it. My wife doesn't think I can do it. My friends don't think I can do it. But right now, I do. And I'll tell you why - because right now I'm "drunk" on nicotine. Everything is clickin in this addicted brain of mine. I'm in the "GO" mode.

 

However past experience tells me that by tomorrow morning, I'll be a completely different person. My biggest problem is that I don't think I will ever feel normal again.... the anger, irritability, fogged mind, inertia is relentless. The reason that I've never stayed quit is because I've always wimped out before ... cracked under the pressure I've never really stuck it out long enough.

It's been a constant torment for at least the last 30 years - both during the times I was quit and during the times I continued to chew.

 

Why am I saying all this? Because I want pitied? Because I think I'm more addicted than anyone else? No, it's because I'm freakin exasperated trying this so often and failing. I'm emotionally exhausted. I'm ashamed and desperate to quit and stay quit. Having said all that, I know deep in my soul, if I would just man up and go the distance, without any reservations, I could beat it and become a free man.

 

FightBack

 

It sounds like you know what you need to do. What does the quote on your signature say. Get back up and quit one day at a time. You can beat this but you have to believe it, know it, and fight like hell. I like the Spongebob mantra BTW it's always good to re-read.

Edited by judo_smurf13

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Fightback. You sir are in fact the picture next to the Websters definition of "serial caver". I have tried to help you...who the fuck knows how many times. But guess what? I'm not ready to give up on you yet. I know how bad you feel every time you screw the pooch. If you really want it PM me for a handful of guys that will help. Or not. One way or the other my quit is doin' just fine.

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Hello. This is the 2 week aniversary of me quitting. I don't know why after 30+ years I decided to quit, but am glad I did. First week was hell....2nd not much better. Feeling better though the last few days. Even made it through a 3 day golf trip with the "boys" dip free.

 

I appreciate your support and encouragement.

 

Kretzy04

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Hello. This is the 2 week aniversary of me quitting. I don't know why after 30+ years I decided to quit, but am glad I did. First week was hell....2nd not much better. Feeling better though the last few days. Even made it through a 3 day golf trip with the "boys" dip free.

 

I appreciate your support and encouragement.

 

Kretzy04

 

 

 

Start posting daily in the JUNE group and we'll all quit together

Edited by dufd45

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“Kindness

Before you know what kindness really is
you must lose things,
feel the future dissolve in a moment
like salt in a weakened broth.
What you held in your hand,
what you counted and carefully saved,
all this must go so you know
how desolate the landscape can be
between the regions of kindness.
How you ride and ride
thinking the bus will never stop,
the passengers eating maize and chicken
will stare out the window forever.

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,
you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho
lies dead by the side of the road.
You must see how this could be you,
how he too was someone
who journeyed through the night with plans
and the simple breath that kept him alive.

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing
inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
It is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you everywhere
like a shadow or a friend.


Colombia”
― Naomi Shihab Nye, Words Under the Words: Selected Poems

 

 

Thank you Judo, D Bob and TR1960 for your encouragement!

Edited by FightBack
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“Kindness

 

Before you know what kindness really is

you must lose things,

feel the future dissolve in a moment

like salt in a weakened broth.

What you held in your hand,

what you counted and carefully saved,

all this must go so you know

how desolate the landscape can be

between the regions of kindness.

How you ride and ride

thinking the bus will never stop,

the passengers eating maize and chicken

will stare out the window forever.

 

Before you learn the tender gravity of kindness,

you must travel where the Indian in a white poncho

lies dead by the side of the road.

You must see how this could be you,

how he too was someone

who journeyed through the night with plans

and the simple breath that kept him alive.

 

Before you know kindness as the deepest thing

inside,

you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.

You must wake up with sorrow.

You must speak to it till your voice

catches the thread of all sorrows

and you see the size of the cloth.

 

Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,

only kindness that ties your shoes

and sends you out into the day to mail letters and

purchase bread,

only kindness that raises its head

from the crowd of the world to say

It is I you have been looking for,

and then goes with you everywhere

like a shadow or a friend.

 

 

Colombia”

― Naomi Shihab Nye, Words Under the Words: Selected Poems

 

 

 

Thank you Judo and TR1960 for your encouragement!

Fightback,

 

You are welcome and as referenced in the PM.

Start by looking back three minutes. Were you Quit or not?

If so, live on until a crave approaches and don't feed it for three minutes and let it pass.

If not, live on until a crave approaches and don't feed it for three minutes and let it pass.

Either way you now have something that time will build upon when you "Fightback" for 3 minutes and you let the urge subside and let it pass.

 

Fact: 100% of the time when you don't feed it, it will pass, but come back looking for a little less each time.

Fact: 100% of the time when you feed it, it will pass, but come back stronger looking for more.

Stop the cycle in 3 minute battles and earn your life back.

Edited by TR1960
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Hello Folks,

 

I'm new here and I just wanted to stop in and introduce myself (I hope this is the right board). I'm in my mid-twenties, married, and I live in Minneapolis. I've dipped on and off fairly casually since college. Difficult times in my life have always resulted in a spike in the amount I've been dipping, and then when things return to normal I'm able to hold off a bit and convince myself that my addiction isn't really that bad. I've quit several times before, but never for longer than three to four months. I've been between jobs for the last two months, and all the free time has resulted in a massive amount of tobacco finding its way in to my mouth. It's rendered me lazy, unable to keep a budget, and I've hidden it all from my wife.

 

I'm looking forward to getting control of this once and for all, and to quitting for life.

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Hello Folks,

 

I'm new here and I just wanted to stop in and introduce myself (I hope this is the right board). I'm in my mid-twenties, married, and I live in Minneapolis. I've dipped on and off fairly casually since college. Difficult times in my life have always resulted in a spike in the amount I've been dipping, and then when things return to normal I'm able to hold off a bit and convince myself that my addiction isn't really that bad. I've quit several times before, but never for longer than three to four months. I've been between jobs for the last two months, and all the free time has resulted in a massive amount of tobacco finding its way in to my mouth. It's rendered me lazy, unable to keep a budget, and I've hidden it all from my wife.

 

I'm looking forward to getting control of this once and for all, and to quitting for life.

 

SO UR WANTING TO QUIT FOR LIFE? or ur just wanting to "get a handle on it till the next stressful time"??

Edited by dufd45
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NolesNVikes, on 27 Mar 2015 - 10:11, said:

...and I've hidden it all from my wife.

 

I'm looking forward to getting control of this once and for all, and to quitting for life.

your goal is not to quit for life, it is to quit for today and today only, then decide to do it again the next day. the result could be being quit for life, but each and every day you need to decide to be quit for one 24 hour period (and if you sleep 6-8 hours a night it's actually only consciously quitting for 16-18 hours). Re hiding from your wife, I speak from hard experience here, she knows. you may think you have been ninja, so did I, but they know.

 

tm - 2035

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...and I've hidden it all from my wife.

Like TM said, she knows. Plus, if you are serious about quitting you need to come out publicly. Tell people you are quitting. Tell friends, tell co-workers, tell your wife. That added level of accountability is important and needed.

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Hmm, alright:

  • Quit one day at a time. Think one day at a time.
  • Tell folks - find accountability.

And yes, I definitely want and need more than just to "get a handle on it till the next stressful time."

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Hmm, alright:

  • Quit one day at a time. Think one day at a time.
  • Tell folks - find accountability.

And yes, I definitely want and need more than just to "get a handle on it till the next stressful time."

I don't know you from Adam and neither do any of these other quitters, but feel the support you have already. Guys piling on to encourage and support you. Jump on in. The water's fine. One day at a time and we'll help you do it. Post up and get it done.

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On Sunday it will be 5 years without Tobacco. I've said it many times before, I would not have been able to achieve this profound change in my life without the people of QSSN and the process of quitting as part of group. Even though most of my group hasn't posted in years, I still remember the beginning stages. The encouragement, the struggles, the shaming by vets of those that cave. All were factors in my success. I no longer need to post here in order to stay quit, but I like to every now and then. As a reminder of how I got here and to thank anyone who was involved in helping me get and stay quit. To any new quitter out there, post up. You bring the want, we will help with the will.

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