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UPSer

Quitting Gets Easier?

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102 days ago, I sat at home surfing google with a big fat lipper in my mouth. I had reached the point that most users will eventually find themselves, that of attempting to quit and failing too many times. I had only that morning decided that I might as well face facts for me quitting was impossible. In 19+ years of chewing one and a half to two cans of Copenhagen a day, I had never made it past 56 days and that was 10 years ago.

I dont know why, but for some reason I googled quit chewing tobacco and the link to QSSN came up. I began reading HOF speeches. Speech after speech, I was riveted. Many of these were my life word for word. I read about Ninja dippers. That was me. I had mastered the art of hiding in the bathroom and dipping; or dipping at work. I had reached the point where I could conduct an interview at work, with a dip in my mouth and no one could tell. I read about guys who couldnt wait to leave home, so they could shove a dip in their mouth. I sat there with tears on my face. It was all about me. I realized that I had reached my lowest point that morning, when I had purposefully started a fight with my sweet wife, simply so I could storm out of the house and dip. How had I let this demon get this much control over me?

I spent a great deal of time the next couple of days researching the ramifications of spit tobacco, and reading about the quit journeys others had gone through. I armed myself with information of what to expect when quitting, not realizing the whole time I was building resolve. On January 5th, I decided to quit planning, and to simply throw the dip away. That was terrifying. Every other time I had failed, I had planned my quit out. This time I simply took the dip out of my lip that I had just put in, threw it out and then flushed the contents of my current can down the toilet. I knew immediately that something was different this time. It wasnt until a few days later that I realized the difference was that every previous attempt, I had been planning to fail, instead of planning to quit. I needed to just stop instead of listening to the lies in my head, of You can quit after one more chew.

I created my account and posted roll for the 1st time on January 6th. I was terrified, and admitted as much in my roll call post. However, it wasnt long until I had several encouraging posts. Some of these supporters have been with me every step of the way, seemingly knowing the days I needed the most encouragement. Even when the last charter member of my group left, and I was alone; these friends have been there. So, for what you do Tiger, CraigMac, Bflem, Fish, Kelbro, Veera, TR1960, Steve50, and BrianB let me say thanks. I would not be here without you guys. You are truly my heroes and have helped make the difference in what I think is many persons quit journey; but I know you have made the difference in mine.

This has without doubt been a memorable 100 days. It has not been an easy 100 days, but then again it hasnt been what I had imagined either. My only hope in this speech is that maybe someone reads this who is like me. Maybe you are contemplating quitting. Maybe you too have given up on being quit. Maybe you dont think quitting is possible for you. My hope is that this speech helps encourage you. I will tell you plainly, quitting is not easy; but it is worth it. Looking back to the beginning of this ride, I remember being terrified. I remember looking at the 100 days as unreachable, and at the guys who had made 2nd floor as gods. I remember thinking at day 21 that soon quitting would get easier. I wondered when until just a few days ago. Now, after 19 years of dipping and 100 days of quit I finally realize the secret. Quitting simply doesnt get easier with time. There is never a moment when I can relax. Its like working out. You wonder when a five miler or a 250 lb. bench press will get easier? In truth, it never does. A five miler will always be 5 miles and 250 lbs. is always 250 lbs. Quitting is always quitting, just like a work out, it never gets easier. You just get stronger. Every day your confidence will grow, until one day you will see that the Nic fits seem easier, not because they really are; but because you have become much stronger. Stay the course!

One Day at a Time,

-UPSer

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