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Flavius Victor

The Cafe - 2019

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2 hours ago, TroutSlayer said:

Hi im corey im new here on day 4 so far so good avid trout fisherman hence the name

Welcome Trout! Stick around. We are a bit strange, but we are quitters! Go to the May 2019 group in the pre hof group.

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15 hours ago, Flavius Victor said:

TR speaks for himself; we're a perfectly sane an ordinary lot of addicts in denial here....  :)

 

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On 1/16/2019 at 6:51 PM, Flavius Victor said:

Stop in and introduce yourself.  

Hello all. New here. I’ve selected the 15 as my quit date. Been chewing red man for 20+ years and to say I’m nervous is an understatement. Anyway. I’m ready. Tired of this crap. I may decide to jump in early but want to be sure. Any advice? I could use it. 

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Welcome to the site.  Former 20+ year user myself; been off the stuff for nearly 15 years now.  The only thing stopping you is, well, you.  

Hope to see you back on the 15th.

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On 2/10/2019 at 6:28 PM, JamesHTaylor said:

I may decide to jump in early but want to be sure.

There is no being ready. Jump as soon as possible. Thinking about it gives you a chance to talk yourself out of it. I thought my way out of it 10,000 times. Now I can only say "Why did I wait so long?" 

A better life awaits. Why would you wait one minute longer for that?

Yes, the water is freezing cold and a shock to the system, but in a few days the shock wears off and you start learning to live without  your longtime crutch. 

708 tough days quit and I cherish each and every one. 

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On 2/10/2019 at 8:28 PM, JamesHTaylor said:

Hello all. New here. I’ve selected the 15 as my quit date. Been chewing red man for 20+ years and to say I’m nervous is an understatement. Anyway. I’m ready. Tired of this crap. I may decide to jump in early but want to be sure. Any advice? I could use it. 

It always saddens me to see a delayed promise to quick without a follow-up day 1 post or other confirmation that the long journey back to freedom has begun. :( 

Euty ~ day 4,555 nicotine-Free following a 30 -year surrender to the Nicotine Slave Master.

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5 hours ago, Eutychus said:

It always saddens me to see a delayed promise to quick without a follow-up day 1 post or other confirmation that the long journey back to freedom has begun. :( 

Euty ~ day 4,555 nicotine-Free following a 30 -year surrender to the Nicotine Slave Master.

It's never too late to quit tobacco, even if time ran out on lots of other things. You can reclaim your dignity.

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Welcome! You're here because you need to quit. We know it. You know it. However, we know what runs your life right now. It's not you. You cannot run your life until you spit that crap out of your mouth and flush the contents of your can down the toilet. Rinse the can out while you're there. Flush and rinse any extra stash you might have. I used to go digging through my trash bin just to find my proverbial last can and scrape the bottom corners for any remaining flakes of nicotine-enhanced sawdust. Now, make a promise...No more. How does that make you feel? Below is something I wrote in the newcomer's group a couple days ago. I wrote it for you, but you haven't spit, flushed, and rinsed yet. You should do that in the next few minutes rather than waiting until some special date. Here's why...

2/16/19

When we first get here, very much have the mind of a full-blown addict. When we are using,  an addict mind convinces us that we can not live without dip, so we desperately make excuses, and exist on our own rules of logic to keep on using.  However, somewhere along the line,  we suspect we are living a lie. That suspicion hangs around in the shadows most of the time, but sometimes we are confronted with it, often by other people. We usually get combative and hostile. We isolate ourselves. We usually then double-down on our addiction. It is our only friend, we say. Then, sometimes, further along the line, we get a moment of clarity, where we know we are living a lie, and our addiction has something to do with it. Then sometimes we get around to deciding to do something about it.  We know what it is: Quitting. The word strikes terror in our hearts. We have built a world of complete dependence on dip. 

 Deciding to do something about it is NOT doing something about it. Usually, the deciding to decide process hovers around us like a kettle of vultures for months or years. Those are some funky days, not matter how long they last. We feel pathetic each time we put a dip in, knowing we are playing a game of Russian Roulette for something that isn't really working for us.  But, if we're lucky, we do do something about it. Spitting out a dip and tossing the contents of the can in the toilet and flushing it is doing something. It's absolutely terrifying. We wonder if it's the right decision to make right now because we can feel ourselves instantly falling apart. We know that as much as dip sucks, it's at least keeping us in one piece for another day. We'll dip to hopefully live another day, we say, and on it goes. 

Well, you're damn lucky you found us. Why, you ask, is it lucky to find a bunch of crotchety ex-dippers? The answer is because these crotchety ex-dippers have been there and we know there is a much better life on the other side. We wrote the book on excuses and bullshit. It's all old hat for us. We know that the the mind of an addict has its own jacked up program running and we know you can't tell the difference between the jacked up program and some sane version 1.0. We don't fault you for it either. Everybody who comes in here should be crazy as a bat, or we would wonder what's up.  We want, and want you, to keep quitting, no matter how you feel, or what your crazy head is telling you to do, and mainly it's telling you to just go buy a can of dip, or maybe some other substitute, so you'll stay on the hook. When we are addicts, we are just as dependent on jacked up thinking as we are on dip. We're here to tell you that your mind, and your body will heal in time, and all the suckiness you're going to go through will be worth it. But you have to stick with it long enough for the miracle (or series of miracles) to happen.

-RWM 

Discussion, and any other point of view, is welcome. But please, dump and flush first. Promise no more, and we go from there. 

If you think you can't do that now, tell us why. In that case, do stick around for feedback.

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17 hours ago, rwm3892 said:

It's never too late to quit tobacco, even if time ran out on lots of other things. You can reclaim your dignity.

:thumbsup:

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You're probably a dip addict if:


You've deferred sex for nicotine
You've been broke and paid for it with a credit card (you financed your addiction you idiot, you actually paid interest on it!)
You've looked for the faded round ring on strangers pockets in a crowd so you could bum a dip
You've lied about using
You've stashed cans to ensure your next fix was never out of reach
You've driven across town because your regular c-store was out
You've fallen asleep with a dip in
You've recycled a dip because you were running low
You've put a dip in and experienced pain because your lip is shredded
You've stolen from your kids piggy bank to finance your addiction
You've not only eaten with a dip in, you've actually gotten proficient at it

Aren't you tired of being its bitch?

That can end right now!

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On ‎3‎/‎1‎/‎2019 at 10:48 AM, rwm3892 said:

You're probably a dip addict if:


You've deferred sex for nicotine
You've been broke and paid for it with a credit card (you financed your addiction you idiot, you actually paid interest on it!)
You've looked for the faded round ring on strangers pockets in a crowd so you could bum a dip
You've lied about using
You've stashed cans to ensure your next fix was never out of reach
You've driven across town because your regular c-store was out
You've fallen asleep with a dip in
You've recycled a dip because you were running low
You've put a dip in and experienced pain because your lip is shredded
You've stolen from your kids piggy bank to finance your addiction
You've not only eaten with a dip in, you've actually gotten proficient at it

Aren't you tired of being its bitch?

That can end right now!

I have done 6 out of 11 of these. what a shame

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Well, I'm back. Not proud of what I did but I'm here to make it right. My QS name is Capt. Kirk and I was in the Freedom Marchers back in...I think it was 2005. Back then, I quit and became active in the site. I used the site most every day and built some friendships. I made it to the HOF (I just read my speech there) and I was on my way. I remained on the site to continue helping myself while hoping to provide help to others. Time went on, life got in the way and I felt firmly anchored in my quit...I was fine. Ten years after quitting, I got a job flying float planes in SW Alaska for the same company my brother flies for. During a period between flights, I was being ravaged by mosquitos and another pilot handed me a cigar. I lit it, puffed it (didn't inhale) and blew the smoke to clear the bugs. It wasn't long before I was just chewing on the cigar and, of course, the natural progression was to the tin. Here I am after 14 years and, after a 10 year failed quit. I'm ready to get this done. Hey Flavius, can you email me at my township address...I'd like to keep my original user account if possible 

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On 5/22/2019 at 5:21 PM, Capt, Kirk said:

Well, I'm back. Not proud of what I did but I'm here to make it right. My QS name is Capt. Kirk and I was in the Freedom Marchers back in...I think it was 2005. Back then, I quit and became active in the site. I used the site most every day and built some friendships. I made it to the HOF (I just read my speech there) and I was on my way. I remained on the site to continue helping myself while hoping to provide help to others. Time went on, life got in the way and I felt firmly anchored in my quit...I was fine. Ten years after quitting, I got a job flying float planes in SW Alaska for the same company my brother flies for. During a period between flights, I was being ravaged by mosquitos and another pilot handed me a cigar. I lit it, puffed it (didn't inhale) and blew the smoke to clear the bugs. It wasn't long before I was just chewing on the cigar and, of course, the natural progression was to the tin. Here I am after 14 years and, after a 10 year failed quit. I'm ready to get this done. Hey Flavius, can you email me at my township address...I'd like to keep my original user account if possible 

Welcome back. Your experience sends a huge message to those who start to feel cured after so many hundred days. I need the daily accountability for the rest of my life, ODAAT of course. Post roll call, make your promise, keep your promise, repeat. 

We're having trouble getting first-time newbies here. Most of the newcomers now were previous oldtimers. Many of them fell back into the trap the same way you did. The site is not as bustling as it has been. It is what it is, but the basic principles are still here, and you can get the support you need. PM me and I will send you my phone #.

You can summon someone by placing a @ before their name, ala  @Flavius Victor

Edited by rwm3892

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5 minutes ago, rwm3892 said:

Welcome back. Your experience sends a huge message to those who start to feel cured after so many hundred days. I need the daily accountability for the rest of my life, ODAAT of course. Post roll call, make your promise, keep your promise, repeat. 

We're having trouble getting first-time newbies here. Most of the newcomers now were previous oldtimers. Many of them fell back into the trap the same way you did. The site is not as bustling as it has been. It is what it is, but the basic principles are still here, and you can get the support you need. PM me and I will send you my phone #.

You can summon someone by placing a @ before their name, ala  @Flavius Victor

Thanks RWM, I noticed the site being less active than it was years ago but I also notice that there's 6-10 "visitors" on at any particular time. These visitors need to be convinced to register and come out of the shadows. Current quitters also need to spread the word about QS to the people in their lives that also chew. I posted earlier this morning in the open part of the site to the people that are hiding in the shadows...we need to get these people signed up, motivated and accountable.

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4 minutes ago, Capt, Kirk said:

Thanks RWM, I noticed the site being less active than it was years ago but I also notice that there's 6-10 "visitors" on at any particular time. These visitors need to be convinced to register and come out of the shadows. Current quitters also need to spread the word about QS to the people in their lives that also chew. I posted earlier this morning in the open part of the site to the people that are hiding in the shadows...we need to get these people signed up, motivated and accountable.

You're right. What we've been doing has has not been successful. We've been brainstorming on how to improve that. Change has been a little on the slow side. 

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4 minutes ago, rwm3892 said:

You're right. What we've been doing has has not been successful. We've been brainstorming on how to improve that. Change has been a little on the slow side. 

Well, I spend part of my work day in my office in front of a computer. I'll be able to use some of that time stirring up the shit around here. People naturally go to places where it's fun, where they can laugh and feel safe. As you know, quitting is hard and scary and stressful...coming to a place where you're surrounded by people going through the same things as you and are having some fun and laughs is bound to bring people out of the shadows. I'll do whatever I can to help...helping others helps me and adds a greater level of accountability to my quit.

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Any suggestions on choosing someone to exchange numbers with for accountability? Also, what works best - a call or a text? I need support, but don't want to be a pain in the ass to the quitter supporting me.

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How about you post roll call first? First things first.

When you establish the fact that you are serious and have other quitter's backs, then numbers naturally appear in your inbox.

If you want to exchange digits with someone, send them a PM with YOUR number. If that person doesn't respond, then you don't want support from that person anyway.

I'll tell up front that I'm wary of serial cavers who have screwed supporters in the past and are more interested in getting numbers than quitting.

After establishing yourself as a serious quitter, get multiple numbers and you can find out what works best for YOU. 

Of several hundred people I have supported, I've only had to block one, so it's not as scary as everybody thinks it is.

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10 hours ago, MDStriker said:

Any suggestions on choosing someone to exchange numbers with for accountability? Also, what works best - a call or a text? I need support, but don't want to be a pain in the ass to the quitter supporting me.

How about you post a day one then ask for numbers in your room - they will come.

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@MDStriker What these guys stated is the truth. Establishing a consistent presence on this site as a quitter is the most important thing that you can do. If you post, the support will come in droves. Go check out the Capt in August 2019. Dude has been the model of consistent posting and has multiple people posting support and therefor has multiple numbers to text off site. 

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@MDStriker It's good that you realize that you need accountability...that's very true. I know this threads a week old but if you haven't posted your day 1 on roll yet then you need to do that! Another thing is that support and accountability goes both ways. You need (and will get) other's support on here but it's also beneficial to your quit to be a support for someone else. When you're holding someone elses accountability you will not want to disappoint them by caving. This is a community of quitters that's been around for decades and we know how to help if you're serious.

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On 8/15/2019 at 6:08 PM, Capt, Kirk said:

@MDStriker It's good that you realize that you need accountability...that's very true. I know this threads a week old but if you haven't posted your day 1 on roll yet then you need to do that! Another thing is that support and accountability goes both ways. You need (and will get) other's support on here but it's also beneficial to your quit to be a support for someone else. When you're holding someone elses accountability you will not want to disappoint them by caving. This is a community of quitters that's been around for decades and we know how to help if you're serious.

I hate to say it, but we are wasting our time at the moment.

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