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Flavius Victor

The Cafe - 2009

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Happy New Year and good luck in your quits this year.

Hey, boss, luck ain't got nothin' to do with it! It's all about willpower and determination. But we appreciate the thought, and thanks for keeping this site up and available for more and more new members to discover the freedom of living life without tobacco. Let's all spread the word about this site to others looking for a way to quit, and this could be a banner year for new members on QSSN. That, my friend, would indeed be a happy new year!

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Something in my group but I wanted to share with everyone because it pertains to all of you.

 

Quittin' Spittin' Crew

Thursday, January 1, 2008

 

mylilsecret = 729 .. Congrats Pitt .. and to all of us!!!

crip723 yeah! MLS hits 2 years

 

Actually crip, it won't officially be two years quit for another 6 1/2 hours. But thank you!

 

Since quitting each milestone, (100 days, 500 days one year) I'd put out there I'd like to celebrate by dinner or a card .. heck even a hug and like I've said before ... the mentality in my household is if nothing is mentioned about my "previous lifestyle" then it really just didn't exist.

 

For some reason an hour ago, I told my husband tomorrow is my two year anniversary without dip. And since I've never celebrated with my family if we (my three boys, him and I) could get dressed up and have a fancy dinner out. To my surprise he agreed. (yes, griped about the $ but I also pushed out there that I've saved $4,118.45 since quitting.) Wow!

 

I called my mother and asked her to join us. Why? Well, my father and her are alcoholics and have been ever since I can remember. I haven't been in contact with him in years but have been told he still drinks but on the otherhand .. my mother has been sober since April of 1998 and I want to celebrate her sobriety with mine.

 

With the economy, so many obstacles, so many medical setbacks, so many eye openers throughout this process .. I, thank you each of you from the bottom of my heart for standing by me, for listening to me cry on days I didn't feel like making it and for believing in me when others near me and close didn't have enough courage to do so; .. fearing I once again would fail.

 

Thank YOU for doing all this, .... all this for your little sis and to think physically most of us have never met. And though that may be true please always remember one thing .... you are and always will be a part of my family.

 

I celebrate not just two years but every day! Each day I gain a little more power against this evil addiction. I asked that you celebrate your quit whether you're on day one or day a million and one. Set all our quit days aside, we're addicts; learning how to stay clean.

 

Tonight when I raise my glass, ............ my toast will not be for myself, and not for my mother but for all of us who put in the hours, ... the days .. the blood, sweat and tears, .... those who've struggled yet put in the simple moments to stay quit. That my quit brothers and sisters to you, I say CHEERS!

 

Your little sister,

-mylilsecret

Edited by mylilsecret

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Something in my group but I wanted to share with everyone because it pertains to all of you.

 

Quittin' Spittin' Crew

Thursday, January 1, 2008

 

mylilsecret = 729 .. Congrats Pitt .. and to all of us!!!

crip723 yeah! MLS hits 2 years

 

Actually crip, it won't officially be two years quit for another 6 1/2 hours. But thank you!

 

Since quitting each milestone, (100 days, 500 days one year) I'd put out there I'd like to celebrate by dinner or a card .. heck even a hug and like I've said before ... the mentality in my household is if nothing is mentioned about my "previous lifestyle" then it really just didn't exist.

 

For some reason an hour ago, I told my husband tomorrow is my two year anniversary without dip. And since I've never celebrated with my family if we (my three boys, him and I) could get dressed up and have a fancy dinner out. To my surprise he agreed. (yes, griped about the $ but I also pushed out there that I've saved $4,118.45 since quitting.) Wow!

 

I called my mother and asked her to join us. Why? Well, my father and her are alcoholics and have been ever since I can remember. I haven't been in contact with him in years but have been told he still drinks but on the otherhand .. my mother has been sober since April of 1998 and I want to celebrate her sobriety with mine.

 

With the economy, so many obstacles, so many medical setbacks, so many eye openers throughout this process .. I, thank you each of you from the bottom of my heart for standing by me, for listening to me cry on days I didn't feel like making it and for believing in me when others near me and close didn't have enough courage to do so; .. fearing I once again would fail.

 

Thank YOU for doing all this, .... all this for your little sis and to think physically most of us have never met. And though that may be true please always remember one thing .... you are and always will be a part of my family.

 

I celebrate not just two years but every day! Each day I gain a little more power against this evil addiction. I asked that you celebrate your quit whether you're on day one or day a million and one. Set all our quit days aside, we're addicts; learning how to stay clean.

 

Tonight when I raise my glass, ............ my toast will not be for myself, and not for my mother but for all of us who put in the hours, ... the days .. the blood, sweat and tears, .... those who've struggled yet put in the simple moments to stay quit. That my quit brothers and sisters to you, I say CHEERS!

 

Your little sister,

-mylilsecret

Well said. An inspiration to us all. Thank you Nickie, and congratulations on 2 years!

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For the first couple of months after quitting chewing, I felt like I had lost an old friend with all the stages of loss present. Now, at 120+ days of quit, I feel as if chewing has become that annoying relative or friend you can't get to leave. No matter how rude you become to it, the craves just hang around.

 

I am definitely not going to re-embrace my old time friend, but I sure wish he would get the f* out!

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One of the benefits of this site is the support we offer, and the best way to get support is to get to know each other. The chat room is a good place to get instant feedback and answers to questions. Although it's open all the time, there's not always someone in there. The best time to catch people there is usually in the evenings. We're having a "town hall meeting" of sorts in there tonight around 9:00 P.M. Eastern time. If you haven't been there before, you may want to click on the link located to the top right of each page that says "Live Chat" and make sure you have Java enabled on your computer and that you won't have any problems later on. If you're serious about quitting, I'll see you there.

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Hi everyone. I am a writer/washed-up baseball player looking to quit after 25 years of use. I've had a weak spot for those Copenhagen Pouches but now that they are discontinued maybe I have a chance. Anyway I've cleaned the house of any tins and am ready to support you all and earn your trust and support.

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Hi everyone. I am a writer/washed-up baseball player looking to quit after 25 years of use. I've had a weak spot for those Copenhagen Pouches but now that they are discontinued maybe I have a chance. Anyway I've cleaned the house of any tins and am ready to support you all and earn your trust and support.

Welcome to QSSN, CWC! I used Copenhagen for 26 years, but have now been quit for over 2 years with the help of this site and a strong willpower. You don't have to earn our support...as long as you're quit, you got it. Head over to the April 2009 quit group. This will be your group, since it is made up of quitters who will reach the "Hall of Fame" (100 days of being quit) during the month of April 2009. We look forward to hearing much more from you in the coming days, weeks, months, and even years. You'll always be a nicotine addict, but you don't have to be a slave to it. Even if they start making Cope pouches again and giving them away for free, you should determine in your mind that you are through with chew. Trust me, it can be done. It may be hard in the beginning, but it's certainly worth the effort. Let us know any problems you have, whether it is with the site or with quitting. We're here to help.

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Good morning! Another fine day to be quit. Welcome to all of the New Year's quitters that have found the site and joined the April 2009 quit group. If you've quit and haven't officially joined the site yet, head over to your HOF group and say 'hello'. I'm not going to say 'misery loves company', but quitting is much easier when you're going thru it with other guys or gals and have the support of the hundreds of fellow quitters here on QSSN.org.

 

And if you made a New Year's resolution to quit and have been procrastinating, it's not too late to keep that promise to yourself. Dump your stash like CopeWithoutCope did and resolve to be done with dip or chew today!

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For the first couple of months after quitting chewing, I felt like I had lost an old friend with all the stages of loss present. Now, at 120+ days of quit, I feel as if chewing has become that annoying relative or friend you can't get to leave. No matter how rude you become to it, the craves just hang around.

 

I am definitely not going to re-embrace my old time friend, but I sure wish he would get the f* out!

 

 

This too shall pass.

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For the first couple of months after quitting chewing, I felt like I had lost an old friend with all the stages of loss present. Now, at 120+ days of quit, I feel as if chewing has become that annoying relative or friend you can't get to leave. No matter how rude you become to it, the craves just hang around.

 

I am definitely not going to re-embrace my old time friend, but I sure wish he would get the f* out!

 

 

This too shall pass.

 

Yeah! Yeah! Whatever...

 

Don't Buy It, Don't Bum It & Don't Put It in Your Mouth!

Edited by Truckerick

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For the first couple of months after quitting chewing, I felt like I had lost an old friend with all the stages of loss present. Now, at 120+ days of quit, I feel as if chewing has become that annoying relative or friend you can't get to leave. No matter how rude you become to it, the craves just hang around.

 

I am definitely not going to re-embrace my old time friend, but I sure wish he would get the f* out!

This too shall pass.

It always does.

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For the first couple of months after quitting chewing, I felt like I had lost an old friend with all the stages of loss present. Now, at 120+ days of quit, I feel as if chewing has become that annoying relative or friend you can't get to leave. No matter how rude you become to it, the craves just hang around.

 

I am definitely not going to re-embrace my old time friend, but I sure wish he would get the f* out!

Prof,

I think you are experiencing the FUNK. For some, it is just a day or 2 of intense craves, much like the first week or 2 of the quit. For others, like me and a few others, our FUNK was that annoying crave that was "no danger or threat" to our quits, but it lasted for what seemed like forever! Mine hit in the mid 60's I believe and lasted until the 120's or 140's...some others had it last until the 160's! The danger that lies in the light crave for a long time, is that some end the annoyance by dipping...In time it will pass as others have stated...

 

Don't feel like you are alone, it has happened to others...and we have succeeded!

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Good morning...

 

Alot of visitors checking out the site in the wee hours of this early January Sunday Morning! This time of the year tends to bring the most visitors and guests to the site (in my opinion). And there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we need a special moment in time (the start of a brand new year) to get us thinking about change...a change for the better!

 

Take some time checking out the site. It has alot to offer you in your quest to become dip free! This CAFE is a great place to come and ask questions about the site (I do believe you have to register a screenname in order to post, but it's free, so why not create a user name?) It's also a place you can come and support and encourage others or recieve encouragement, advice or support yourself! We have a few talented writers who graces us every few weeks with a written treasure of encouragement and motivation and advise.

 

The QUIT GROUPS are arranged by months. Each day being quit is an accomplishment in and of itself. And it is definitely something to celebrate! I personally, encourage quitters to create many short term goals...the more short term goals, the more reasons you have to celebrate! And celebrating positive accomplishments makes us want to be more successful! The first BIG, BIG MILESTONE that many of the quitters here focus on is day 100. It's a nice, round and even number....It's a triple digit...but most importantly, it gives you the opportunity to experience multiple levels and stages in your quit. After a few weeks of quitting, you will develop a cycle of good days and days that you still crave the addiction. The good days start to get longer adn the "bad" days get shorter and easier to handle...but within that 100 day stretch, you start to get a handle for what the rest of your quit will be like (for the most part). We call day 100 your Hall Of Fame day. The quit group you would become a member of, would be the month/year that you will hit your Hall Of Fame day. Current quitters posting a day 1 are in the April09 HOF group (If I am doing my math correctly). Another reason for creating groups in this manner is so that the members of the group are either going through exactly the same thing at the same time, or just recently went through the same thing....so there is a common ground between those members. It's hard for quitters on day 80 to remember exactly how rough day 2 of the quit was....it's a bit easier for someone at day 20 to remember how day 2 was.

 

We have a section of wildcard threads or other topics of discussion that becomes a place we can discuss topics other than quitting, get to know other members on the site, and give us, an often times, needed break from our battle. It's not designed as a place for us to leave our guard down, just a place we can interact on other topics or gain insight on other things (even things that still relate to our quits). A place we can discuss sports or hobbies or just hang out.

 

And another great section to the site is the Articles and HOF speech sections. The speeches are written my members who achieve their HOF day. They are full of encouragement, support, advice, hope, and stories that could very well reflect your own life story about dipping. They offer insight into the quitting process and let you know that you are not alone in this addiction. The Articles section are full of great, inspiring stories from members of the site. Stories of overcoming terrible stresses and craves, stories of successes and accomplishments, encouragment, support, answers to questions that many of us have had, etc.

 

The site offers a great amount of help to quitting the smokeless addiction that you or a loved one may have. We are a community that is here to support and encourage one another to stop using smokeless tobacco. We are a family that first and foremost, wants every member to be quit and stay quit. We are all one poor choice, one pinch, one dip away from throwing it all away....we understand how important our quits are, and we want to not only help ourselves stay quit, but we build accountability with each other to help others stay quit as well.

 

A veteran quitter from years ago used to say....."Try us out, quit for 100 days....if you are not fully satisfied, we will refund your misery!"

 

It won't kill you to quit....but not quitting might just kill you....think about it. When you are ready, we will be here.

 

Happy New Year to all of you...and let 2009 be a dip free year for us all!

 

-Penguin

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I posted the response below to a recent quitter looking for alternatives to using dip. Take it for what it's worth, but it's my testimony after being quit for 166 days. I was a former 1 can a day Copenhagen user for 25 years.

 

Bonesaw - Member of the Snuffless Horsemen Oct 2008 quit group

 

 

 

Early in my quit I was wondering what a good alternative would be. Simply put, I used Copenhagen for 25 years and I was going up the wall wanting a dip after going cold turkey the first week. I almost caved, but I went to Wal Mart and got some of the Smokey Mountain Wintergreen fake chew. I also found that mixing it with the Smokey Mountain Classic was a little closer to the Copehagen taste I was used to.

 

At day 166, I still use the fake stuff on occasion (and less than I used to early on in my quit). I use the fake stuff now not so much because I have intense craves (they are pretty infrequent now), but more to help me get me through the activitives (e.g. after meals, working in the yard, etc.) that also used to invlove dip. Beyond the obvious addiction to the Nicotine in Copenhagen, I found that the activities associated with dip were also very powerful and just as difficult to get through. For now, fake chew helps me get through these episodes.

 

What's better? Doing the fake stuff and being off Copenhagen or going back to the guilt and fear of using Copehagen?

 

The way I look at it, I am 166 days without Nicotine - something I never thought possible!!

 

Here's my summary of my quit so far and what has worked for me:

 

This accountability of posting to this site EVERYDAY and using the fake stuff have kept me off Copenhagen. Eventually I will get off the fake stuff, but for now I take it one day at a time, post to the site, pray, and enjoy life more!

 

Some of the other quitters don't advise this approach of using the fake chew, but the main thing I have in common with them is that I have remained quit!!!

 

Remember, the main thing is to DO WHATEVER and USE WHATEVER IT TAKES TO STAY OFF THIS SHIT!!

 

Later.... Bonesaw

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Food, water ... shelter. Often times, we take them for granted. But when you are starving, or freezing or dehydrated, these basic needs become more than important. They are critical. In fact, you can likely think of nothing else. Your very life depends on getting these needs met.

 

When you are really, really thirsty and someone offers you a drink ... or when you are oh so very hungry and you are given food that satisfies your hunger ... or when you are shivering from cold, wet conditions and someone shares their blanket, then you know how important these basic needs are and you also understand the gratitude that comes when someone meets your needs.

 

So what does this have to do with quitting tobacco? Well, simply put, your life does depend on it. You have a need, a goal ... to quit using tobacco. If you are still dipping snuff, you need to stop. If you've already quit, you need to stay that way. The following was posted by Bluesman on November 16, 2007 (soon after his 6 year quit anniversary). I hope these words inspire you today. I hope they provide the help you need.

 

7iron

day 1010

still clean

 

Crossing the Rubicon

 

If you are reading this, then the desire is probably there already. You truly want to quit chewing smokeless tobacco … indeed, why else would you be wasting your time reading this posting on this website? But it is not enough to merely “want” something or some result. Poor people “want” to be wealthy. Fat people “want” to be physically fit. Alcoholics and drug addicts often “want” to be sober. And the people in hell want ice water. Ultimately, it is not enough. The mere desire of something – without commitment, action, and a willingness for self-sacrifice – is more accurately described as “wishful thinking.”

 

And in fact, many progress to the point of “trying to quit.” We all know what that looks like … promises made after a hard night of drinking, staring into a mirror with a throbbing head and a sore throat, forgotten by lunchtime. In my case, work was my rationalization, as I suffered from “intolerable” writer’s block without chew. In fact, I spent years and years “wanting” to quit and “trying” to quit. I was the tobacco masochist … I would quit just long enough to suffer all of the worse consequence of nicotine withdraw, ruin an entire day at work, and then buy a tin at lunchtime or on the way home. I was the living definition of insanity – doing the same things, over and over and over again, and strangely expecting a different result. All of that “wanting” and “trying” … yielding nothing.

 

“Crossing the Rubicon” refers to an intentional act of war by Julius Caesar, some 2,000 years ago. It was unlawful for a Roman general to cross the Rubicon River with an army, with the law presumably intended to protect the republic from being overtaken by military dictator … which of course, was exactly what was intended. It was a public act of war, a risky and revolutionary act by Caesar, which could not be “taken back” or changed or equivocated. It was the point of no return.

 

The story reminded me of my battle with tobacco addiction, the audacity and courage that it takes to break free from addiction, to draw a line of personal commitment, not in the sand or even in stone, but in steel and titanium. And that is my advice to you today, the sixth anniversary in my success against chewing tobacco. You too need to cross the Rubicon.

 

You need to cross the point of no return in your personal battle with addiction. And you need to provoke this war, without fear or hesitation. You need to have the courage, the character, and the testicular fortitude to move beyond wanting and trying ... you need to make a commitment from which there is no return, AND embrace the consequences of your action. Make this commitment and then do absolutely anything and everything that you must do to keep it. No return.

 

In practical terms, in reality, you must create your own “Rubicon” ... which are the circumstances in your life, which serve as the point of no return in this battle. This website is the first small step, a toe in the water … simply register, post your commitment, and join this community. But that is really only the beginning. There is not enough risk, nothing ventured, no "skin in the game," as you are merely an another anonymous tobacco junkie making an anonymous promise. You need to create real consequences, real hardship, real embarassment, and real risk. What do I mean?

 

Tell everyone. Tell your wife or girlfriend that you quit chewing tobacco. They likely will not believe you, but that is irrelevant ... you are putting your reputation on the line. Maybe this time, put it in writing ... sign a contract with them, stating that you will ask for their permission before you will ever use tobacco again. Tell your parents and siblings ... put your pride and repuation in the balance. Tell your boss and co-workers, many of whom may have no idea that you chew tobacco. Seek out those people who have asked you to quit, or perhaps find the most insufferable, self-righteous person in your life, and tell them, “I finally quit chewing tobacco.” Purchase hundreds of dollars worth of “quit aids,” including chewing gum, hard candies, Altoids/mints, fake herbal chews, and suckers, and leave piles of them EVERYWHERE ... at your desk, in your car, in your golf bag and workout bag, on your nightstand. Load up a Starbucks card (or some other coffee shop) as an upfront deposit on your purchases for the coming days and months. Join a gym (or if you already belong, use it).

 

And certainly come here throughout the day, every single day, and participate in the support groups here, and become a crusader for freedom from addiction. It is nearly impossible to crave chemically-treated, cancer-causing tobacco leaves out of one side of your mouth, as you offer advice and support to QS members from the other. You create the Rubicon, your own personal “point of no return,” by making such a Herculean investment of time, money, and energy, into this one commitment, that there is simply no way your pride will allow you to return.

 

In my case, I transformed myself into a crusader for personal freedom and change. I told my wife, she rolled her eyes. I told my “dip buddies,” they laughed. I told the obnoxious guy who quit smoking cigarettes and suffered through the resulting lectures. I read and posted, read and posted, read and posted. I bought a half-dozen tins of fake chew (Smokey Mountain Chew). I left work in the middle of the day, for walks and workouts. I extended deadlines in my law practice. I canceled meetings with clients. I also had work days when I went “commando” – no coffee, no quit aids, no candy, no nothing, just water. Remember Matt Damon’s character, in Good Will Hunting, in the scene where he described the beating options from his father as picking between a belt, a stick or a wrench … Well, some days, I chose the wrench too.

 

Ultimately, I had so much invested in my quit – I had endured so much, and spent so much time and money, and talked so much, and championed the cause so much – I had crossed the Rubicon.

 

* * * * *

 

I am flattered by all of the well-wishes and thank you’s. I am proud of myself for my accomplishments in this area of my life, and I take even greater pride in the fact that some of my writings have help others find strength and guidance in this battle with tobacco addiction.

 

But the reality is that, ultimately, I am no different than you. I am a guy who chewed tobacco for twenty (20) years, on an everyday, all-of-the-time basis … I spent nearly half of my life, wasted on this moronic addiction. I am not unique. I simply crossed the point of no return sooner than you, on November 3, 2001, more than six years ago today. You can exactly duplicate my own success by making the same commitment, and keeping it.

 

At this point, I just never think about tobacco. Every now and again, I see someone chewing and think, probably like many of my family and friends back in the day ... what a dumbass. I keep trying to duplicate this "success" in other areas of my life ... although these “battles” are far more "aspirational" and ambiguous in their rules of engagement ... It is hard to quantify success in a commitment to be a “better father,” as I search for the right balance between family and building a successful, profitable legal career. At this point, I am still probably short the "career" in favor of family ... but the consequence is a disturbing lack of progress in my career. I think I am winning the battle to “stay physical fit and active,” as I completed my first triathlon in July 2007 ... but since then, I rarely make the "three workouts per week" any more. I still coach multiple soccer teams and basketball teams, and love it ... still active and involved as a father (kids are now 13, 12 and 6) ... still happily married to an amazing woman.

 

And instead of wishing you luck, I wish resolve ... I hope your find the courage, the determination, the resolve to stop merely wanting to quit ... stop "trying" to quit ... and make your own bold, courageous, revolutionary act of personal freedom. Boldly walk across the point of no return in this battle with addiction ... do not stop, do not excuse or reconsider, not even a glance back ... and seize freedom from addiction. Free your mind with a day-by-day, hour-by-hour, moment-by-moment commitment ~ No Tobacco Today.

 

Take care,

 

The Bluesman

Edited by 7iron

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Well I'm back again. Sorry to all the members I have hurt in the past. As you all know, we are addicts and part of addiction is hiding, lying, sneaking around, and doing things that hurt others and ourselves. I cannot change my past or give excusses for my cave. I can only look at today and make the decission to not use tobacco for the day. I continue to use my past as a learning experience and try to change and be a better person. I am hopeful of a better year in 2009 as 2008 had ups and lots of downs for me. I believe I am stronger and expect struggles along the way to my recovery. I hope to gain some new friends and re connect with old quitters as well. Please accept me back and hold me accountable!

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Well I'm back again. Sorry to all the members I have hurt in the past. As you all know, we are addicts and part of addiction is hiding, lying, sneaking around, and doing things that hurt others and ourselves. I cannot change my past or give excusses for my cave. I can only look at today and make the decission to not use tobacco for the day. I continue to use my past as a learning experience and try to change and be a better person. I am hopeful of a better year in 2009 as 2008 had ups and lots of downs for me. I believe I am stronger and expect struggles along the way to my recovery. I hope to gain some new friends and re connect with old quitters as well. Please accept me back and hold me accountable!

 

 

Many of us grow up with the idea that mistakes are bad, linking our self-esteem with continued success. We become afraid of making mistakes. So in order to achieve success, we tend to steer clear of areas that may lie outside the apparent realm of our natural talent. In this perverse equation, the secret of success becomes avoiding failure, leaving much of our potential untapped.

 

In order to reach our full potential to learn, we must accept and then transform anxiety and fear, relentlessly seeking accurate information on our performance. What used to be perceived as criticism now becomes a gift for constructive growth. To maximize our learning it is essential to ask: "How can we get the most from every mistake we make?" --- Author: Michael Gelb and Tony Buzan

 

If I accept you as you are, I will make you worse; however if I treat you as though you are what you are capable of becoming, I help you become that. --- Author: Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

 

-mylilsecret

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Just drinking my morning coffee and thought I would stop by the Cafe and say hello. I think my eyeballs might pop out today. If they do I guess I will just put them back in and keep on being quit B)

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I want to thank the many members that PM'ed me yesterday. I appreciate the support and accountability. Day 6 and for some reason I have the funk starting already. I'm pulling through this though. Its good to feel welcomed back!

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I'm feeling relatively good today (Day 4). Morning coffee is working and at the moment there is NO STRONG craving for dip. Let's see if I can produce some good work this afternoon after lunch--that will be key. Put one sentence in front of the other, put one sentence in front of the other...

 

Hope you all are beating back your cancer-causing foe.

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